Tag: Steve and Tracy

Coronation Street: 10,000 Episodes

(Monday 3rd – Friday 7th February 2020)

While Geoff prattles on about his magic show, Yasmeen desperately cleans the house.  He continuously harasses Yasmeen at work and then sabotages a spa day for her an Alya when Emma is unable to be his assistant for the show.  He loses his temper when she is anxious about being locked in a box for one of the tricks, as she is claustrophobic.

During the show, the trick with Yasmeen in the box goes wrong and Yasmeen is unable to get out of the box ‘magically’, meaning Geoff has to really wrestle with the box to set her free.  The audience find it hilarious and it earns Geoff the name ‘Jiggle It Geoff’, sending the video viral.  Of course, Geoff does not find it funny and what is not caught on video is Geoff blaming poor Yasmeen and calling her a ‘clumsy, oafish bitch’.  It’s a truly horrible moment, with worse to come, as the more compliments they receive for doing ‘comedy magic’, the worse punishment Yasmeen receives from her vile husband.

Geoff’s magic trick goes awry…

That night, Yasmeen almost begs Tim to stay when Geoff sends him off to try and sort things out with Sally.  Alone together, Geoff lays into her for apparently sabotaging the show.  He physically intimidates her and frightens her before shoving a phone camera in her face, videoing her and screaming horrific abuse at her, suggesting he might put that online to embarrass her.  But of course he won’t because it won’t show her in a bad light, will it?  Hopefully this video will eventually be his undoing…

He sends her out for chips, having rejected the dinner she has made.  Out, she bumps into Emma who reveals that she was actually fired as Geoff’s assistant.  So the whole ordeal was caused by Geoff and all because he didn’t want Yasmeen to a spa for a couple of hours with her granddaughter.

The poor woman is treading on eggshells the next day as the video of the show has gone international.  Geoff is raging, although they both put on a front for Tim.  He throws Yasmeen’s breakfast away and calls her fat.  He tells Tim that Yasmeen doesn’t want him to stay with them anymore, making him feel like he is putting their marriage under pressure.  Geoff suggests that Yasmeen help him practice for his next show as a way to make things up to him.  He makes some adjustments to the box, during which time, Yasmeen mentions her conversation with Emma but it only gets her into trouble as he recalls that she took ten minutes longer to get the chips than she said she would be.  He then locks her in the box – for the whole afternoon!  He ignores her cries to be let out before turning music up loud going for a pint with Brian. 

While Yasmeen screams and cries for help, Geoff enjoys a casual pint with Brian, not letting on how annoyed his is by the gentle teasing about the magic show from his friend.  Eventually exhausted, poor Yasmeen gives up.  The music has stopped by the Tim arrives back at the house and he is absolutely stunned to find Yasmeen locked in the box.  He rescues her and is still trying to work out how such a terrible thing could have happened when Geoff arrives back, clearly horrified to have had his son rescue his wife.  At first, Tim accuses his father of locking Yasmeen in but Geoff is quick with a denial and a lie.  He tells him that Yasmeen was timing herself and must have got locked in.  Yasmeen doesn’t contradict him.  Tim reluctantly accepts it and gives the couple time to talk.  Come on, Tim!  Work it out!  Genuinely concerned, he tells Eileen what has happened.  This incident, coupled with Geoff’s previous behaviour makes Eileen suspicious.  Could she be Yasmeen’s surprise salvation?

Tim is shocked to find Yasmeen locked in a box at home…

Despite the horror of what he has put her through, Geoff is still ready to lay all the blame at Yasmeen’s door.  However, traumatised by her ordeal, Yasmeen stands up for herself and accuses him of lying about how she got locked in the box, unable to comprehend how he could have done that to her.  She makes it clear that this is not how love should be.  She shows genuine strength, which only gives me hope for the future of this storyline.  But of course, he changes his tactics.  He knows he won’t get anywhere with scaring her anymore that day so he makes her feel guilty and sorry for him instead.  He denies locking her in the box on purpose and claims to have just been playing a trick on her.  Then he breaks down over his previous trauma over the way Tim’s mother treated him, claiming that he thought she had messed the trick up on purpose because that’s what she would have done.  He begs forgiveness and begs her not to leave him.  She accepts it but something has definitely shifted.

Tim makes a bid to win Sally back by presenting her with his signed divorced papers and an invitation to their wedding.  Sally is not impressed.

Daniel apologises to Maria who in turn apologises for Gary’s attack.  Gary and Maria explain the miscarriage to Liam but Maria is annoyed when without prior discussion, Gary suggests to Liam that they might have another baby instead.  He turns down a desperate customer in need of a loan.

Bethany is still unhappy working for Ray and makes her point by serving his table of colleagues and blatantly telling them that she has been told to flatter them all.  Ray is not happy.  She and Daniel submit one of her stories to a course in Preston.

Steve and Tracy skip off to a hotel to try and rekindle their romance.  Unfortunately, they only end up frustrated with each other, resulting in Steve ending up locked in the bathroom.  She seems to have come to the sad realisation that she loves him more than he loves her.  She says he is scared of her.  He says everyone is scared of her!  Well, fair point.  However, they do end up reconnecting so perhaps they will be able to move forward now.

It turns out that Nina has been evicted from her flat and is now living on the streets.  She eventually turns up at the café and Roy takes her in.

Rita receives the news that her third husband, Dennis Tanner has died.  He has his ashes sent to her with a request for her to scatter them in Blackpool.  Jenny arranges a party bus with half the cast to do a day trip to Blackpool to celebrate the show’s 10,000th episode: Rita, Jenny, Sally, Gail, Eileen, Sean, Ken, Tracy, Emma, Amy (who is celebrating her birthday), Mary, Audrey, Evelyn, Carla and Nina all hop on board, dragging reluctant Yasmeen (with a FIVER spending money) along for a ride.  Apologies if I’ve missed anyone.  Claudia definitely does not join them.  Apparently Blackpool is like Vegas for the poor!

While Yasmeen struggles with the pressure of discussing getting locked in the box and spends most of her time reassuring Geoff on the phone that she is not drinking (very much noticed by Eileen), Audrey and Rita end up snapping at each other about times gone by.  Ken begins to regret that he has spent his entire life on one road (but what a busy life it’s been!) and quietly reveals his plans to move to a retirement flat round the corner with Claudia.  Well, I’m sure that will be thrilling!  Nina argues with Tracy and tries to hitchhike home, only to be talked down by Carla.  I do like Stable Carla.  Yasmeen brings Sally and Tim back together at last with a video call.  Sean admits that he feels pushed out of Eileen’s life when once upon a time, they were family.  When Emma reveals that Seb has moved out without telling her (he’s scared of her, apparently!), it frees up his room for Sean to move back in.  How lovely.

However, the group don’t actually make it to Blackpool as the bus driver has a heart attack at a wee stop.  Rita has a tantrum and the urn gets run over by the ambulance, essentially scattering the ashes in a car park (in the most convenient moment of prop placement ever). 

On the way home, Rita is finally grateful for her friends who gave up their day to be with her.  Back on the Street, she gives Amy her engagement ring, which belonged to the legend that is Elsie Tanner.  Amy is thrilled!  Rita enjoys an evening in the pub with her friends.  Then alone in the bar that night, she recalls memories of times gone by before Jenny comes down and Rita tells her she couldn’t have wished for a better daughter.  It’s a lovely way to mark a special moment in the history of Coronation Street as we hear the echoes of so many remarkable characters from the past, who have made the show so very special.  Outside, Ken says goodbye to the Street but rest assured, he’s not going far.  The credits roll through every sequence in the show’s history, dating right back to its days of black and white.  A great episode focussing on so many of the great and longest serving characters.

The 10,000th episode fades to it’s original black and white…

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm

Coronation Street: Trapped

(Monday 13th – Friday 17th January 2020)

Liz is surprised to arrive home and discover that Amy has moved out and so has Steve, thanks to Tracy’s one night stand with Paula.  Steve is surprised to learn that Amy already knows and feels guilty that his daughter has been put in such an awful position.  Steve decides that the way to save his marriage is to propose to Tracy in the middle of the pub.  Obviously.  She turns him down.  Instead, she suggests couples counselling.  It’s explosive to say the least.

Geoff sets up a ridiculous cleaning rota, claiming that he has dust allergies.  He then leaves Yasmeen to complete all her chores alone.  Yasmeen works hard on the house but then gets distracted by Cathy.  At first, Yasmeen is very anxious to get back to her jobs but eventually, one bottle of wine becomes two and the women are having a lovely time.  Then Geoff comes home.  As soon as they are alone, Geoff lays into Yasmeen, furious with his wife for slacking off and revealing that he knows she didn’t complete everything as he set a trap for her, making a deliberate mark on the skirting board that she would have known was there if she had cleaned it.

Yasmeen is a victim of coercive control…

Later, Yasmeen tries and fails to stop Cathy popping in to retrieve her handbag.  Not realising that she is in the house, Geoff lays into Yasmeen again and Cathy is horrified by what she overhears.  He gets even worse when she leaves.  Cathy is suitably worried.  Geoff meanwhile, lies to Yasmeen that his health condition has worsened and that’s why he needs the house so clean.  This of course makes her snap to it and believe he is being reasonable.  Subsequently, she stays up all night adhering to the complicated rota, utterly exhausting herself.

When Cathy approaches Yasmeen about her concerns, Yasmeen is clearly conflicted but plays the situation down.  Geoff accuses Cathy of being a lesbian and fancying Yasmeen!  He states that they should keep their business to themselves.  However, things escalate when, on Cathy’s behalf, Brian approaches Geoff with concerns about his behaviour and that it might be seen as controlling.  Geoff hits a new low by informing Brian that Yasmeen is an alcoholic and his behaviour is out of concern and trying to manage the situation.  The obsessive cleaning is to cover her tracks.  He implies that she has been physically abusive and begs him to keep it to himself.  He then returns home and attempts to persuade Yasmeen herself that she’s an alcoholic, which she finds hard to accept.  Because she isn’t!!!  The next thing they know, Peter is knocking on the door, offering to take her to an AA meeting with him.

Alone again, Yasmeen is distraught to have been made out to be an alcoholic but once again, Geoff manipulates her into believing she is the one at fault.  He tells her that his ex, Tim’s mother was an abusive alcoholic and every time she drinks, he is taken back to that time.  He tells her that he believes the abuse will inevitably follow if the drinking continues.  When she throws all the alcohol out and vows to stop, he still isn’t happy, claiming that just because she has to stop drinking, doesn’t mean he intends to stop, although later, he offers to cut down around her!  Oh, this storyline makes me so angry!  It’s such an important storyline but it is so, so difficult to watch.

When Brian and Cathy approach Alya with their concerns, she doesn’t believe it for a second.  At least she knows that there is something wrong between Geoff and Yasmeen.  Unfortunately, by that point, it’s too late and Yasmeen has already been brainwashed.  She tells her granddaughter that she does have a problem with alcohol and that’s the end of it.  I just hope that Alya doesn’t allow herself to be pushed away.  Geoff takes things one step further by taking Yasmeen’s bank cards away.  Yasmeen just lets him.  The next day, Geoff keeps Yasmeen at home, away from work, cleaning the house and with only a little bit of pocket money.  She cancels going to her book club with Cathy, who remains deeply concerned about her friend and not convinced she is an addict.  She is still suspicious of Geoff, who comes home irritated that Yasmeen has cooked the ‘wrong’ dinner.

With Fiz having been honest with the police about the gun, she is formally charged.  Social Services conclude that Tyrone and Evelyn are not a threat but are still investigating Fiz.  Subsequently, the kids are allowed to return home so long as Fiz moves out.  Tyrone tries to get the truth out of Hope but it seems like she has been completely brainwashed by her psycho older sister.  News begins to spread about Fiz bringing the gun to the Street but Evelyn is quick to shut any gossip down.  With Imran representing her in court, Fiz is given a suspended sentence of four months and a fine.  Fiz apologises to David, who hadn’t yet found out about the gun.  Jenny gives her a hard time in the pub and she continues to be the town pariah.  Jade is horrified to learn that Hope is back living with Tyrone.  She books a one way ticket out of Wetherfield for herself and Hope.

David remains by Shona’s side, playing her sounds from home.  When she opens her eyes though, she doesn’t seem to remember David or her life with him.  She struggles with any recall at all.  The hospital recommends a neurological rehabilitation centre in Leeds.  At first, David can’t accept it and brings the kids to try and trigger his wife’s memories but she mistakes Max for her older son, Clayton, the one who murdered David’s late wife, Kylie.  David reluctantly accepts that Shona really does need specialist care.

Frustrated with the police’s progress with Kel, Bernie takes it upon herself to catch him out.  She poses as a fourteen year old boy and arranges to meet him in the park, live streaming it online.  Paul and Gemma catch on and go with her along with worried Billy.  They do catch Kel, who is armed with booze and condoms but the police are not impressed with Bernie’s efforts, explaining that the CPS could see it as entrapment and it could be detrimental rather than good for the case.

On the day of Richard’s funeral, Roy discovers that Nina’s door has been egged.  He determines to clean it up for her and finally begins to make progress in bonding, although she turns down his offer to let her move in with him, feeling closer to her Dad in the flat.  Roy acts as a model for Nina’s dressmaking project and he opens up to her about his life with Hayley.  When a brick is thrown through the window, Nina admits that she is engaged in an ongoing dispute with someone.

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm

Soap Blog: Monday 6th January – Sunday 12th January 2020

Coronation Street: Judas Jade

Jade sets the wheels in motion to take Hope away from Fiz.  She goes to Doctor Gaddas with her fake tears, fake photos and fake fears that Fiz is abusing her daughter.  The GP has no choice but to contact Social Services who go straight round to the house and then to the school to speak to Hope who confirms the story that Jade has drilled into her.  She and Ruby are removed from the family home immediately.

The next day, the kids sneak back to see their parents but are caught by Jade who reports it to Social Services who have no choice to take them into formal foster care.  Fiz and Tyrone get a further shock when Jade, who has moved into a proper flat in preparation to take the kids from them, steps forward as John Stape’s daughter and Hope’s sister.  She lies to the Social Worker that she met Fiz in Birmingham and was upfront with her from the start before Fiz invited her to move in with them.  Jade is distraught when she is refused custody of the kids on the grounds that she was a resident of the house when the abuse accusations were made.  She sticks the knife in a little deeper by informing Social Services about the gun, landing her in trouble with the police.  Later, Fiz tracks Jade down and confronts her but thankfully, Tyrone arrives and drags her away before things get too serious.  Tyrone is frustrated when Fiz and Gary lie to the police about the gun, believing that they will just get into more trouble and lose the kids.  Well, yes.  Probably.

Leanne is delighted when she overhears Paula and Tracy arguing over their night of passion.  Cue lots of amusing conversations between Tracy and Leanne and Leanna and Paula, plus lots of sexually charges arguments between Tracy and Paula.  Things eventually come to a head when Steve arranges to spend the afternoon in the hot tub with Tracy only for it to have been double booked by Sally, Paula and Leanne.  Leanne cannot help herself, sharing a hot tub with Steve, Tracy and Paula.  Tracy storms out, followed by Paula and even hapless Steve knows there’s something going on.  Now, I know Steve and Tracy kind of belong together but am I the only one who feels like Coronation Street have accidentally unearthed some chemistry between Tracy and Paula?  I kind of want them to see where this goes!  But for now, Steve challenges Tracy and is absolutely stunned to discover that it’s a woman that she spent the night with.  Tracy attempts to manipulate him and blame him for her infidelity.  But the poor guy is genuinely heartbroken as he loves her and wants to work through their problems.

Geoff continues his manipulation of Yasmeen, spoiling her with clothes but not wanting her to go out and spend time with her friends, even accusing her of fancying Brian.  Meanwhile, Cathy becomes concerned that Yasmeen always cancels on her and never socialises anymore and seems to clean the house to the level of OCD.

Michael and James put their mother forward for a hero award with the local paper when they realise how guilty she feels for not being able to save Robert.  She is uncomfortable with the attention and opens up to Roy about why she gave up nursing.  A patient died after a mistake, even though the mistake wasn’t hers.  She was torn up with guilt and it impacted her work to the point she has to resign. 

The hospital performs a critical procedure on Shona and she is finally able to breathe on her own.  David does everything he can think of to bring her round.  He also gets the news that Josh has been found guilty of two counts of rape (including against him) and been sentenced to fifteen years.  Delayed justice but finally, justice to one of the most emotive, powerful storylines the show has done.  When David hears about Aggie’s award and that she used to be a nurse, Aggie offers him support that he genuinely accepts. Gemma and Chesney take the quads to a posh photoshoot with Frescos but upon discovering that his employee is advertising his rival, Dev sacks Chesney on the spot.  But just as Cathy persuades Dev to change his mind, Bernie messes everything up and the war is back on even worse than before!  Well done, Bernie.  Just as this boring story was almost over…

Doctors: Cold Snap

Al is worried after he goes to visit monosyllabic Jimmi in prison.  Behind bars, Jimmi begins to make himself useful as a Doctor, earning himself some protection from his cellmate.  He helps him with his back pain and advises the prison officer girlfriend of another prisoner about a mole, sending her to see Sid at The Mill.

Worried about Jimmi’s state of mind, his colleagues organise a rota of visits but Daniel is reluctant to let Bear participate.  Bear has just met up with his ex-girlfriend, the one that he clearly isn’t over and so is fuelling all his hatred towards Jimmi.  While Bear recalls Jimmi being unsympathetic and regrets the termination, his ex has a completely different recollection.  She barely even remembers Jimmi and believes the termination was the right thing.  She was able to go onto University and carve out a career for herself, none of which she would have been able to do if she’d gone ahead with the pregnancy.  She has also moved on and met someone.

Meanwhile, Al, Emma and Rob meet up, scratching their heads trying to work out who on earth could have set Jimmi up in the first place.  If it wasn’t the guy who was hanging around The Icon and it wasn’t Gareth who could it be?  Maybe the manager of The Mill?  Well, Bear does go to visit Jimmi, who is surprised to see him.  And for me, it seems like he just wants to see the poor guy behind bars and suffering.  It’s an awkward meeting to say the least and Bear doesn’t disclose their past, which Jimmi has no recollection of.  Jimmi struggles with his OCD when he and the other prisoners are locked in their cells as the officers deal with another prisoner acting out.  A patient of Jimmi’s goes above and beyond to start a campaign to help free him but his conscience gets the better of him when Al uncovers his own criminal past and he hands himself into the police.

Zara pulls rank when Ayesha who is now a fully qualified Nurse Prescriber is signed off to go ahead with prescriptions, forbidding her to be independent yet.  When Zara is busy one day, she sets Al the task of checking the prescriptions, which Al blatantly doesn’t do, trusting Ayesha to perform the job she is qualified to do correctly.  Bear uses Joe’s eye infection and the rules about not prescribing for your own family to trick Zara into realising that nurse prescribers are legitimate and that she should loosen the reins on Ayesha.  I don’t like the guy but he does have his uses.

At the beginning of Wednesday’s episode we see some pretty harrowing scenes where a drunken group from a rowing club, assault a homeless man and urinate on him.  They then attack a homeless young woman, throw her stuff around and urinate on her.  It’s absolutely hideous and very upsetting.  While the man ends up dying of hypothermia, the girl reports her attack to the police.  In a particularly interesting story, it turns out that the girl knew the man Frank (and found him dead, taking £20 from him and running away in a moment of regret).  Emma and Rob track down Frank’s next of kin, who is devastated that she had been living nearby her Dad, who she hadn’t seen for fifteen years and could have helped him if he had only reached out to her.  They locate the arrogant, posh thugs who caused his death and they are arrested.

Eastenders: Broken

Things come to a head when Chantelle and Gray return from their trip.  First, Kat drops Karen in it and tells Gray about the party, which gets Chantelle into trouble.  Then he spots her helping Jags home with some shopping.  When he then demands she take a pregnancy test and isn’t suitably disappointed that it’s negative, they argue and he breaks her arm.  At first, he refuses to take her to hospital but eventually, he has no choice.  Then in an even more gut wrenching scene, Chantelle attempts to make her vile husband feel better by blaming the whole thing on herself.  She tries to persuade herself that really she hadn’t lied to her Mum about how it happened.  Technically, it had happened at the bottom of the stairs.  And it was her fault really because she had moved awkwardly.  She then reels off a list of stupid things she has done over the years, heaping blame on herself for the fact that he has just broken her arm.  Absolutely hideous and utterly heartbreaking.

Struggling to keep control, Chantelle panics when Keegan and co. including Jags all show up at her house the next day and in the end, terrified about getting into trouble with Gray for entertaining, she throws them out.  Of course, this later leads to a falling out with Keegan.  When she advises him not to get involved with Vinny (the other Panesar Brother – I am really getting the hang of new characters’ names now) Keegan loses his temper with his sister, believing that she doesn’t care about her family anymore.

Speaking of Keegan, he does strike up a friendship with Vinny who gets hold of a scooter to help with the sandwich deliveries.  Against her better judgement, Iqra agrees to let Vinny become involved in the business but on their first trip out, Vinny and Keegan are victims of racial profiling stop and search.  It makes them late to bring Gray’s order of sandwiches for a business meeting.  He has already had to order different food and wipes his hands off their business.  The boys cannot agree over how they handled the stop and search, having both been stopped before for no reason.  Vinny was angry but Keegan was compliant, not wanting more trouble than necessary.

Whitney is horrified when Leo takes up a stall on the market in a bid to be close to her.  Thankfully she has all the other market traders, including Martin and Kush on her side.  Well, if Martin is on her side, Leo she probably be worried!  Whitney agrees to a ‘date’ with Leo where she makes it clear that she wants absolutely nothing to do with him.  He doesn’t seem to get the message.

Big Mo decides to take Jean’s grief into her own hands (and earn some cash) by holding a séance for Daniel.  When Kush catches the pair together, Jean decides to play along and while she, Mo and Kat are in the kitchen with a crystal ball, Mo calls on Daniel’s spirit, only for Daniel to walk into the kitchen!  Kat is furious with Daniel, Kush and Jean until it’s revealed that Daniel has been paying the shortfall in their rent.

Karen and Billy have the most mild (not to mention brief) breakup in the history of soap, rivalling the most unremarkable getting together in soap, AKA Jack and Denise.  Karen also snaps at Honey about spoiling Janet’s fun regarding the pageant, prompting her to change her mind and let her take part.  Unfortunately, Honey’s eating disorder overwhelms her during the show and Janet nearly misses out as she remains backstage, worried about her mother throwing up in the toilets.  Billy finds them and Janet is brought on stage where she wins the pageant (much to Lexi’s annoyance but everyone else’s pride).  Billy later confronts Honey.  At first his shock comes out in anger but he is later determined to support and care for his ex-wife. I feel another breakup with Karen coming on.

Emmerdale: Downward Spiral

Matty delivers some home truths to Moira, reminding her that today would be hers and John’s anniversary and that she also cheated on him.  Victoria helps Moira and Matty begin to work things out.  Moira then overhears Pete and Nate bitching about her.  Well, that’s unfortunate.  While Matty moves out of the farm, he is immediately suspicious of his mother when Pete and Nate inform him that someone has dumped herbicide all over their farm.  When they tackle her about it, she isn’t even sorry.

Things go from bad to worse when Moira goes on a drinking binge, nearly getting knocked over by a car and ending up in a ditch.  Thankfully, the driver of the car, who is quite obviously Nate’s mother, Cara, stops and picks Moira up, taking her to the hospital.  She stays with her and tracks Matty down at the pub.  But Moira loses it when she learns that Nate drove Matty to the hospital, which is when Cara reveals that Nate is her son.  Cara is horrified to discover what her son has been up to since his arrival in the village and her dislike of Cain who finally bothers to show up, is clear.  What a bloody mess!  But it does lend to an excellent moment of gossip between Marlon and Charity as they discuss the arrival of Nate’s Mum.  While Cain and Cara finally talk through their past, Moira is quick to tell Cara all the worst bits of the Dingles.

In the wake of the news that the church may close and Harriet is likely to be relocated, the church is robbed.  Harriet immediately suspects that the Bishop has started clearing the building out already.  However, it was actually Will in a misguided attempt to keep Harriet in the Village.  Yes, I’m sure that will work.  Moron.  When Harriet discovers what he has done, she is understandably furious and has it out with him.  Dawn begs Harriet to lie to the police and cover up her Dad’s crime.  If he gets into trouble and their home life changes, her chances of getting her son back are over.  With Nicola’s campaign and a big, anonymous donation saving the church roof, the church is saved and will not close.  But Harriet is torn up with guilt for lying to the police, the community and the Bishop for Will’s crime, despite him insisting that he felt he was doing it for the right reasons.  Because he’s a moron.  The family, including Billy, have a successful home visit with Lucas.

I’m going to be honest here.  Emmerdale is seriously weak at the moment.  They have some fantastic characters, relationships and a few plots that are engaging.  But a lot of it is so boring.  They have some really weak characters that they need to get rid of i.e. Nate, Will and Al.  Their storylines are distracting and hard to focus on because they’re just not interesting enough.  They should be bring characters like Ryan into the light.  They should be moving Victoria, Wendy and Luke’s storyline on and other, stronger storylines.  There seems to be a lot of dithering in every episode at the moment.  Quite frankly, Emmerdale, you need a plane crash.  But please leave Charity and Vanessa intact.

Moving on… Noah lies to Charity about returning to hospital and needing a blood test, not wanting her to fuss.  Graham does finally alert Charity over the hospital admission and despite a hideous row with him where they both say some awful things, Charity rushes home to be with her son.  Noah accuses Charity of not loving him as much as Graham does but she makes it clear just how much she adores him.  She books the required blood test and takes him out for a special dinner.  Sarah is under more pressure to help Danny who is in trouble over the missing drugs.  But again… maybe Sarah and Danny should make friends with the kids from Hollyoaks.  All these storylines seem to be the same at the moment.  However, there is a twist in the tale as Sarah finally discovers what a liar Danny really is and backs out of the plan, sending him into the hands of the police.  Well done!

David rushes Theo to the Doctor, meaning that he has to register him and make his existence official.  Social Service become involved but after locating Maya abroad, she and the authorities are happy for Theo (who is named as Alex on his birth certificate) are happy for David to have custody (and be called Theo) and to begin making things official.

While all the kids, including Jacob are furious with Liam and Leyla, Diane merely scolds Liam and gently breaks the news that Bernice is staying in Australia permanently for the sake of her daughter.  However, she is more than happy for Liam to continue living with her and the girls.

Rhona is annoyed when Graham starts working at the outdoor adventure retreat with Kim but he has a cunning plan.  The first thing he does is trick Kim’s banking password out of new recruit Ryan steal a load of cash.

Hollyoaks (and Hollyoaks Later): The Serial Killer

Breda is absolutely brutal to poor, oblivious Jack and hands him back his ring.  Hapless Goldie becomes even more worried about her mother’s ‘dementia’ and moods and what she might do, still believing that her illness caused her to kill Harry.

Armed with his box of evidence, John Paul turns to recently released Mercedes and tells her everything he knows: Breda is the real serial killer.  When he discovers that Breda never sold the pig farm, he opts to keep the creepy old Nanny busy while Mercedes heads to the farm to find out everything she can.  Unfortunately, Breda had spotted the pair plotting and drugs John Paul’s tea, knocking him out – but not before she’s got out of him where Mercedes is headed.

Down at the farm, Mercedes is shocked to discover Tony locked up and half dead.  She attempts to rescue him but is attacked by Breda.  Tony makes one last ditch effort to save himself and Mercedes but he’s stabbed with a rake for his efforts.  Ugh!  Surely it can’t be that he has been held captive for so long and then die like this?  Breda locks them both up and Mercedes desperately tries to keep Tony talking and alive.  She lies to him that Diane has never given up on him or stopped looking for him.  However, in a rather boring distraction to the Hollyoaks Later episode, Diane attends a party with Edward, alongside Edward’s daughter, Verity who is getting it on with Sami who has clearly forgotten all about Sinead.

Jack returns his ring to Goldie, who puts it up for sale where Lisa recognises it as belonging to her Dad.  This obviously confirms to her that Mercedes really did kill Louis but between the ring and those hideous dolls, Goldie at last begins to put two and two together.

While the villagers gather together for a meeting to discuss the way forward, Goldie and Sylver track their mother down to the pig farm.  In fabulous serial killer style, she tells them the whole story.  The pig farm is a graveyard.  She murdered her abusive father and fed him to the pigs.  She murdered Sylver’s father and buried him at the pig farm.  She killed Goldie’s father and let Sylver take the blame.  Sylver is utterly destroyed.  They argue and she shoots him with a stun gun.  When Goldie goes for help, Breda sets the whole farm on fire, ready to die with her son.

Goldie rescues Mercedes and Tony who is pretty much dead already (please, no!)  Mercedes rushes into the inferno to save her husband, leading to a pretty brutal fight between her and Breda, ending only when Sylver stabs his mother in the head with her own knitting needles!  We absolutely knew that’s where it was heading, so to speak.  There were just too many shots of the needles at the beginning of the showdown.  They had to be important!  But still… ouch!

Diane and Edward are at it at the hospital and are just deciding to make a go of things for real when Tony is rushed into the emergency department.  Diane gets quite the shock!  Hollyoaks really is one for timing.  Misbah comforts guilty Diane, who confesses her relationship with Edward.  Edward delays calling for help when Tony goes into cardiac arrest, knowing that if Tony was out of the way then he could continue to pursue Diane.  However, he does eventually save Tony’s life himself.  When Tony wakes up, he is shocked to see Edward and to meet his sister, Verity for the first time.  But it’s a touching reunion for Tony and Diane as she vows never to let anything bad to happen to him again and he begs her to promise she knew he was lying on the phone and that she still loves him.  She reassures him but she is clearly torn up with guilt over Edward, who she has firmly rejected.  They close the episode with a lovely rendition of ‘Back For Good’.

John Paul returns to the shocked pub to tell them the truth – Breda is the real serial killer and she has been keeping Tony hostage for months.

The next episode takes place over a series of therapy sessions with Nancy’s doppelganger.  Diane supports Tony while Darren and Jack have a joint session and Sylver goes it alone before Mercedes joins him as they all attempt to process what Breda has done to them.

Tony lies about having nightmares as he discusses his time in captivity, missing his family and attempting to escape to escape.  But then he breaks down and admits that he misses Breda and has come to need her.  It’s an awful moment to see how utterly broken he is, hating himself for his attachment to his kidnapper.  He is going to have a hell of a lot to work through and he doesn’t even know about Diane and Edward.  Speaking of, when Tony spots Edward in one of the kids drawings, he is alarmed by how close his father has come to his family (if only he knew) and insists that Diane and the kids stay away from him, warning her that she has no idea what Edward is capable of…

Sylver struggles to control his anger during the session.  He claims to hate Breda for everything she has done to him, taking away his childhood and punishing him for a crime he didn’t commit.  While the therapist gives Sylver permission to miss Breda, Sylver is scared that he is a psychopath, just like his mother.  Mercedes is quick to reassure him that he is a good man and a good Dad.  Later, Mercedes misunderstands his hope that they can start again as an intention for them to get back together.  He just wants them to forgive each other.  He still wants to be with Grace.

Jack also struggles in the therapy session, torn up with guilt for not seeing what Breda was really capable of or being able to prevent the deaths of so many people.  The therapist suggests that he take a break in Portugal like he had originally planned and Darren supports the idea, taking him the airport himself.

Diane makes it clear that she has chosen Tony who has his own struggles as the children believe that he abandoned him.  Determined to remain part of the family, Edward concocts a story about how Tony’s Mum forced him to abandon the family home, that he tried to stay in touch (providing fake letters and cards which he later dumps) and that he has kept abreast of everything Tony has done in his life.  Actually, he has just done a lot of research.  And so while Diane is ready to send Edward (whose name is really Brian) away, Tony decides to ask him to stay.  I think this is the beginning of seeing just how dark Edward can be.  Goodness, we have only just got rid of Breda!

It’s an emotional day for Tony as he returns home to Diane and the kids but he struggles to adjust to every day noise and normal life.  The sound of a dripping tap triggers him to panic and lock himself in his room.  This is going to be a very long road.

Meanwhile, unaware that Warren has returned to the village with the twins, Sienna is struggling with her jealousy over the friendship between Brody and Liberty.  She organises for herself and Brody to spend the day together with no interruptions, only for Liberty to be rushed into hospital with hypoglycaemia.  Feeling guilty, Sienna admits her insecurities to Brody who promises that she is the only person he would ever be interested.  Warren then locates Brody alone and abducts him.  Sienna is immediately worried when poor Brody doesn’t come home.  Locked up, we witness a very strange pissing contest between captor and prisoner as they both try to prove that Sienna loves them the best.  Sienna comes running to meet her mystery texter in a bid to save Brody.  She is livid to come face to face with Warren but he interrupts her, desperately worried about their son.

Jesse and Courtney’s wedding is falling apart so Scott persuades Azim to step in as their wedding planner to help them pull it all back together.  Working together on the wedding, Scott, who has firmly rejected Mitchell, finds himself kissing Azim.

Home and Away: Grace

Robbo calls Justin to let him know about Tori as he races to get to her in time for the birth.  Robbo and Tori share a happy moment as they greet their daughter.  They name the baby Grace.  Robbo reassures Jasmine that the investigation is over and they are all safe.

The next day, as they prepare to go home, Tori becomes unwell and passes out.  She is helicoptered to the nearest hospital with post-partem pre-eclampsia.  Oblivious, Justin, Leah, Mason and Ava celebrate Tori and the newest addition to their family.  Robbo then has to break the news to Justin over what has happened.  As Tori goes into cardiac arrest, Justin and Mason rush to the hospital to see her.  Tori is diagnosed with having had a stroke and is now in a coma.  Willow accidentally puts her foot in it when asking Mason about Tori in front of Ava, who is already struggling to keep the seriousness of Tori’s condition from her.  Ava challenges Mason about the situation and finally, Justin has to explain exactly what has happened.

Robbo is overprotective when he and Jasmine bring Grace home to the Bay, leaving Justin frustrated that he has taken her away from Tori and not given the rest of the family a say in any of the decisions.  Jasmine is hurt when Robbo doesn’t seem to want to let her near the baby.  When Robbo asks Justin for the cradle he made for Grace, the boys get into an argument, Justin blaming Robbo for Tori’s situation.  A second confrontation sees Justin demanding custody of Grace but Robbo sends him away.  Robbo is angry with Jasmine for her perceived lack of support.

Ryder lies to Maggie that the incident with the bottle was just a joke.  She has no choice but to exclude him from his final exam, meaning that he will not pass his HSC.  He admits the truth to John, who recommends that he tell the truth.  Ryder obeys.  Maggie is shaken and angry (not with Ryder) by the news.  Ryder is anxious when Maggie wants to contact the police, aware of the pressure Blake is under at home but Maggie insists that what Blake was prepared to do was very serious.  Blake is furious with Ryder for betraying him.  Ryder is thrilled, however, when he finally finishes his HSC and therefore high school for good.

Continuing to take his medication, Ben is bad tempered as he struggles with his side effects.  He and Maggie end up arguing when she catches him throwing away his medication.  He also refuses to see the counsellor.  A talk with Dean prompts him to change his mind.

Dean gets annoyed with Ziggy and her promotion of the surf school, especially as the surf lessons are free.  He has to work flat out at Salt as well just to make ends meet.  He is exhausted and overwhelmed with the amount of work he has to do with setting the business up.  He tries to explain how he feels to Ziggy but she won’t listen, leading to a big argument the next day.  Getting the wrong end of the stick, Ziggy persuades Mac to cancel Dean’s shifts at Salt so that he can concentrate on his business.  Dean is livid.  When Ben explains to Ziggy that her exuberance may be a little overbearing, Dean easily gets his shifts back alongside the offer of getting time off for the business when he needs it.

Willow is also fretting about running the gym by herself, especially the prospect of hiring a new member of staff to replace Mason.  Seeing how much she is struggling with her workload, Alex ditches her PT session and helps her get organised.  Cue a very flirtatious interview role play as Alex teaches Willow how to interview potential new employees.  Their friendship is definitely back on.

Bella does everything she can to keep Colby away from Mac.  She persuades Dean to take him on as his assistant but Colby just ends up shouting at the students.  Ben takes over and Dean and Ziggy make up, leaving Colby free to get back together with Mac, enraging Bella.  Later, Alex finds her bashing a pole with a piece of wood, which has cut her hand.  She talks the angry teenager down and treats her hand, without thanks.  Colby and Mac decide to put Bella first.

Neighbours: The Boss

David, Harlow and Paul visit Robert in jail.  Robert apologises for initially letting David down and also asks him to pass on his apologies to Elly.  Paul actually thanks Robert for saving David’s life.

Chloe and Pierce are faced with having to fire people from Lassiters but things get even more serious when Lucy tells Pierce that Chloe is also for the chop.  She has two weeks to prove herself or she is done.  Terese is on hand to help Chloe get her act together and make a good presentation to Anita and also get a booking for a hundred people for the hotel.  Unfortunately, Anita and Pierce catch the women celebrating and their deception prompts Anita to recommend that Chloe loses her job after all.  Well, what did they think was going to happen when they were talking about it so openly?  Terese talks Anita round but Paul thinks Chloe should just hand herself in – she was only hired in the first place because she is Pierce’s wife!  Charming!  When Chloe overhears Pierce confirming what Paul has said and doubting her capabilities, she is beyond hurt.  However, Terese is certain that with some more training and support, Chloe will make an excellent General Manager and Pierce finally agrees.  Sadly, despite accepting the job, damage has clearly been done to their marriage.

Hendrix discovers Karl and Susan’s infamous blue box!  He hands an item over to innocent Harlow, claiming it’s a cat toy, which she uses to try and get the missing cat back.  Imagine her embarrassment when alarmed Ned informs her what the item really is!  Imagine how Karl reacts when Harlow angrily hands it back to Hendrix in front of him.  Furious Pierces demands that Hendrix apologises to Karl and Susan and change his behaviour.

Susan is furious that Elly and Finn have renewed their attraction to each other and are risking hurting Bea.  When Finn isn’t allowed to move himself and Bea out of the house, Elly decides that she needs to leave instead and moves in with Aaron and David, who despite being half dead a couple of days ago, is already out of hospital and up to visiting Robert who is already back in jail despite just having a serious operation.  But anyway, Karl and Bea are upset at Elly’s departure but she blames it on Hendrix, who is an absolute nightmare housemate.  She also claims to feel smothered.  Elly struggles through the night with a crying baby.  She and Finn miss each other.  Desperate, she eventually calls him and he helps to settle her.

Between living with baby Aster and seeing pictures of Amy and her new life in New York, Kyle struggles to cope with the future he had planned being taken away.  Toadie is increasingly worried about his state of mind and tries to involve him in the Buddy Club.  Kyle steps up to take on his first session at the Buddy Club and gets permission to use Amy’s yard to teach some kids woodwork.  However, in preparation the day before, he manages to lose Nell…