(Monday 19^th October – Thursday 12^th November 2020)

The McQueen’s were having BIG problems with their blackmailer, not least the fact that the blackmail was coming from that freaky looking doll.  That alone would be enough to give me nightmares.  Seriously, I have a real thing about dolls that move/talk.  These episodes are like watching a horror film.

So, the first sin was wrath, exposing the fact that Sylver killed Breda.  Well, to be fair, it wasn’t really as simple as that, was it?  She’d murdered goodness knows how many people, she’d let him go to prison for murdering his Dad when he was innocent and she was trying to burn them both to death at the time.  So, I think he could probably plead self-defence.  However, he was arrested, thanks to the doll recording his confession.  George stepped in and got rid of the evidence, setting Sylver free.  At first, John Paul was angry that his boyfriend had been ‘corrupted’ by his family, hurting George’s feelings, as he had been trying to help but eventually, John Paul was relieved and grateful.  I remain upset that with everything George does now, I know it’s with an ulterior, dark motive.

Sylver had to explain to Cher what happened with Breda, prompting her to fear that he had passed his ‘badness’ onto her.  She then revealed that she killed her sister – after a feud, she pushed her into a swimming pool, knowing she couldn’t swim.  She drowned.  Sylver is nothing but supportive and Cher called him Dad for the first time.  It was a sweet moment but I’m pretty sure the scary doll was listening.

Sylver accused James of being responsible for the blackmail but it clearly wasn’t him.  In fact, thanks to the fact that he shot Mercedes, he ended up helping her.  The doll offered the McQueen’s the chance to cancel the debt if they could work out who is responsible for their current predicament.  They couldn’t.  And I was delighted to discover that the person responsible is Silas Blissett!  How fab to bring that psycho back for such an important anniversary!  He is working with an unknown so obviously this story goes deeper than that and I am looking forward to it unravelling.  Determined not to stress about the blackmailer, Mercedes announced that she was pregnant and it may have saved her life, as it diverted Silas away from pouncing on her.

The next sin was greed, sending Theresa into a panic.  Apparently, in her time away, she has worked as an escort and got herself into some real trouble.  When she begged John Paul for help, he took it upon himself to resolve the situation himself.  First, he and James attempted to catch the blackmailer but it was George who came to collect.  He had caught John Paul out in a lie and seeing him and James together, he concluded that John Paul was cheating on him.  With their wires crossed (or could this be a double bluff and could George actually be the blackmailer?!), they broke up.  And with the debt still owing, James would only pay it off in exchange for sex.  Feeling like he had no option left, John Paul reached a new low and stole Kyle’s watch from Nancy, gifted to her by his parents, breaking his friend’s heart.

However, this only meant this his sin was next: pride.  With no options left, John Paul confessed everything to George.  The boys got back together and George paid off the next debt with his savings – but John Paul cannot see James anymore.  Again, I am very cranky now I know that every nice thing George does isn’t actually him being nice.  Why couldn’t he just have been nice?!  He just seemed so lovely at the beginning!

Tony and Diane, who was fully in the grip of Edward, to the point that she has now dyed her hair red like his late wife, began to settle their divorce arrangements.  Tony’s world was then thrown into a spin when he received a note from ‘the love of [his] life’.  I mean, who could it be?  Diane?  Julie?  Mandy?  No!  Of course not!  It’s Kurt Benson!  Yes, the one who died at sea in the late nineties.  But it’s Hollyoaks so it’s fine to just change the past.  Apparently, he didn’t die.  He went into hiding and has wanted to come home ever since.  Now, he presents himself as some kind of entrepreneur millionaire, which is clearly a lie. 

Kurt had a new business plan he was eager to get Tony, Darren and Mandy involved with and very quicky snatched Verity away from upset Sami, an extra point scored when he realised she was Tony’s sister (after he discovered that in his absence Tony had slept with both Ruth and Lucy).  He also got Verity swept up in the business plan, despite Sami nearly derailing things, having discovered he had set the business up in Tony’s name.  Kurt explained that a bad deal meant his name has been blacklisted but promised that the business was going to be a big success.  All the while, he took constant phone calls, promising the caller their money.

On the plus side, despite Kurt clearly being a con man, I do think he will be very good for Tony.  Plus, you know, Hollyoaks legend back on screen.  Hooray!  But right now, Tony needs love, support and confidence.  His life is being ruined by Edward and there is nobody to protect him.  Kurt can do that.  If anyone is going to call Edward out on his behaviour and catch him out on his lies, surely it will be Kurt?  And he will help Tony win Diane back, I am positive.  Those two are meant to be together!

Yazz refused to let go of her relationship with Tom who was sure that their relationship would only hold her back and restrict her dreams.  She put together a video of all of Tom’s loved ones to tell him how loved he is.  Actually, it was a beautiful message from every single member of the cast, thanking the audience for our support, marking their 25^th anniversary.  It was a genuinely lovely moment and made me feel quite emotional.  I’m big enough to admit it.

And to top it off, Yazz then proposed to Tom.  Hooray!  We’re going to have a New Year’s Eve wedding, guys!  Our little Tom, who has grown up with us, who has lost so much, is happy with such a lovely girl and he is getting married!  How lovely!

While Tom and Yazz were busy getting engaged, they were shocked to discover Ste had returned to the Village, having failed to make a new life elsewhere when people began to find out about his racist past.  Yazz was incredibly compassionate and kind to him after everything he and those thugs put her through, terrorising them and causing her to lose her hearing.  When Misbah returned home, she reunited him with his family.  James, of all people, took pity on Ste, although he couldn’t help but try and set the situation up to try and make John Paul jealous.  And failed.  Mostly.

And it is lovely to see Tom and Yazz as a strong, happy, loving couple who are not mixed up in all this drugs madness, which has completely taken over the whole show right now.  It feels a bit like when the River Boys took over Home and Away and it was more like Gangster’s Paradise than Summer Bay.  Or when Eastenders was focussed on The Mitchell’s latest crimes and every episode was like The Sopranos.  Well, I’ve never been sold on this County Lines storyline, to be honest and I admit I hope it finishes soon.  For starters, these kids are literally taking ketamine all over the village.  They’re dealing, they holding it, they’re using it and not a single adult has noticed?  No parent, no teacher, no policeman?  No ex-addict?  Nobody?  Come off it.

Juliet is at the top of the tree and has pushed Charlie and Ella into the mix as a couple of her underlings.  Peri decided that Jordan was not the one for her after all and that she quite liked Juliet after all but things hit a roadblock at Romeo’s party (which he never actually made it to but did finally get together with Cher anyway), when she discovered that Juliet was also a drug dealer.

Sid was extremely worried about Juliet getting in so deeply with Victor and the gang but it’s like a switch has been flicked somewhere.  She doesn’t think she is worth more than this.  It’s very sad.  But Sid had bigger problems as Victor was on Jordan’s case big time over catching the ‘grass’.  Jordan was under big pressure to find out who snitched on him to the police and eventually, he did discover it was Sid.  He risked a huge beating by not giving Sid up to Victor, who decided not to batter him but keep him under his control instead.  Jordan cut all ties with Sid forever, feeling utterly betrayed.

Meanwhile, Ollie returned to the Village with a different face but no better attitude.  He reunited with Brooke who was elated to be back together, only to be ditched the next day for Romeo’s party.  Ollie was furious to discover that Brooke had asked Juliet to look out for him at the party and with Juliet also upset that Peri had stormed out on her, the pair went off to take ketamine together and ended up having a one night stand.  While they instantly regretted it and vowed that nobody should ever hear about it, Peri turned up to declare that she wanted to make a go of things with Juliet.  She was utterly disgusted to realise what she had walked in on.  Well, you would be, wouldn’t you?

Sid was devastated to discover that Juliet had slept with a boy when she had always told him she was only interested in girls and if there would ever be a boy, it would be him.  After a row with Ollie, Sid found himself taking ketamine and collapsing, completely off his face.  In a state, Peri wasn’t concentrating as she drove, distracted by tears and constant phone calls from Juliet.  In a particularly hideous moment, she drove over Sid’s leg without even realising he was there.  Thankfully, Luke, who had been picking Ollie up from a heap on the floor, also off his face on ketamine, saw what happened and called an ambulance for Sid.

Ste informed Peri what happened to Sid and she quicky concluded that she was the one who ran him over.  With Ste’s reaction to both Peri and Jordan and his protectiveness of Sid, I am reminded of exactly why I’ve been missing Ste all this time!  I hope he is going to be pivotal to this storyline and sort some things (and people) out.  Ste had to explain to Sid that his leg will need to be amputated.  When Juliet found out, she came straight to the hospital to support him.  She later tried and failed to back out of her ‘job’ with Victor.  Marnie spotted them together, which could either be really good or really bad.

Brooke was honest about how much Ollie has hurt her and telling Luke about the drugs.  Ollie in turn was honest about cheating on her with Juliet.  I miss the old actor who played Ollie but it’s almost a good thing as he was so sweet and I don’t like the direction the character has taken.

The other big storyline these past few weeks involved Sienna backing out of running away at the last minute, unable to bear leaving Liberty.  Brody broke up with her, believing that she was actually unable to leave Warren.  The couple were horrified to then have Liberty announce that she was keeping baby Faith.  Between Liberty and Brody, hurt Sienna found herself in bed with Warren, just as Brody was buying flowers and set to make things right with the woman he loved.  Unfortunately, unwell Liberty took Faith and jumped in the car, ready to run away with her, running Brody over in the process.  Sienna came to her senses, insisting that her slip with Warren was a big mistake; Brody is the person she wanted to be with.

In other news, Walter was shocked when Martine bought their flat and invited Mitchell and Scott to move in.  At first, Walter offended the boys by offering to tolerate them but Mitchell gave him a talking to.  Despite Toby’s best efforts to wind the situation up, Walter did make an effort and even bonded with Scott over The Golden Girls!

Hollyoaks airs Monday – Thursday, 6:30pm on Channel 4 (sneak peek on E4, 7pm)

These reviews are based on the E4 episodes

Hollyoaks airs ‘Hollyoaks Favourites’ on Fridays, Wednesdays-Fridays, 7pm on E4