Eastenders: The Lies We Tell

(Monday 2^nd – Friday 13^th March 2020)

Jean gives Daniel’s special bed to Suki. When Suki doesn’t know enough about her treatment, Jean takes her on as a project, wanting to ensure she is getting the best care possible. She even falls out with Shirley, who begins to question the validity of Suki’s illness as they scatter Daniel’s ashes and Suki shows no signs of being unwell. Jean finally accepts what Shirley is telling her (I really do love their friendship) and sets about proving Suki’s lies, outing her as a fake in public.

Surprisingly, Suki admits fairly easily to her children that she has indeed been lying to them and then justifies it, claiming she had to do anything necessary to get her family back together. Ash and Kheerat drag her over to Jean’s to apologise for the way she has abused her trust and her situation. It does not go well.

Masood gifts Keegan and Iqra his old ice cream van for their business but Keegan’s day goes from high to low when someone breaks into the flat and robs them. Keegan and Tiffany give chase, only for the guy to steal Tiffany’s new wedding ring. Keegan chases the guy down and they scuffle, only for the police to grab Keegan instead and the thief runs off. The thief is white, of course. Who else would the police go for?

Ian lies to Peter and allays his concerns that he harmed Dennis, explaining away what happened. Ian then threatens Dotty, making it clear that nobody would believe her, no matter what rumours she tried to spread. However, later, Dotty listens to pocket voicemail from Dennis, crying out for Ian, who has locked him up. She uses it to blackmail him into buying The Arches for her.

Despite Sonia’s protestations, Bex heads off to go travelling, without a single remark from a single person about the risks of the Coronavirus.

Lola is shocked to discover that she is pregnant. Jay looks a hell of a lot happier about it than she does and while he is keen to become a family, Lola arranges to terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. Things get more awkward when Jay goes ahead and proposes. She then improves the situation by sleeping with Peter after a row after turning down his proposal. As if nobody saw that one coming! Well, poor Jay didn’t, I suppose. And Lola doesn’t tell him. She has the termination and they decide to carry on as they were. I can really see that working out…

Rainie is horrified when she comes face to face with an ex-client at the undertakers. Wanting to make her happy and prove his commitment to her, Stuart takes a leaf out of Jay’s book (because that went so well) and proposes to Rainie. It goes even worse than Jay’s proposal! She shouts at him in the middle of the restaurant and practically lobs the ring across the room!

Gray is under pressure at work, having taken on two difficult cases with Kush and Whitney. He is working for Kush for free and Whitney’s case is unlikely to be won. He is already in trouble for taking Leo on as an employee in the first place (so you’d think in reality that would create a conflict of interest so he wouldn’t actually be allowed to take the case). His boss warns him to persuade Kush to plead guilty or things could become much more difficult at work. He succeeds in manipulating Kush, convincing him that it will help Whitney’s case if he pleads guilty.

Mitch unwittingly causes trouble for his daughter…

However, when Whitney is refused bail, Gray is suspended from his firm. Stuck for money and with no work at the salon, Chantelle is tempted to take up some hours with Kheerat. I’m sure Gray will be thrilled at the idea of his wife working with the Panesar Brothers! She encourages Gray to continue working on Whitney’s case by himself, which will impress his bosses into lifting his suspension. Not wanting anyone to know what has happened, he goes out to a hotel to work, only to be seen. Rather than confronting him, Mitch phones Gray’s employers and learns about his suspension. He speaks to Gray without having any idea of the consequences of his actions.

Storming home, Gray immediately accuses frightened Chantelle of telling Mitch about his suspension. He then beats the living daylights out of her. Leaving the house, Karen pulls him into the pub, where everyone is waiting to celebrate him for working on Whitney’s case for nothing and despite the way his firm has treated him. He is flabbergasted. He then feels overwhelmed with guilt when he discovers that Chantelle did not tell Mitch about his suspension after all.

Meanwhile, Whitney remains on a hunger strike in prison. She has also stops taking water. One of the prison guards keeps trying with her but she doesn’t want to know; she has given up hope. By the end of the episode, she is suffering hallucinations of herself as a child and Tony’s voice. Worse than that, she can hear Atomic Kitten’s ‘Whole Again’ on repeat. Then she collapses.

Doctors: Unbelievable

(Monday 2^nd – Friday 13^th March 2020)

The big story of the fortnight surrounds Karen and Rob’s foster daughter, Abz who phones Karen in a state of distress, telling her that she has been raped after a night out. The story covers three episodes, calling into question whether Abz is a reliable victim as she has a history of telling stories. It’s a genuinely harrowing tale as eventually, it transpires that her friend’s boyfriend raped her but due to a bone marrow transplant from leukaemia, his DNA didn’t initially match blood left at the scene.

It’s an uncomfortable story, constantly calling into question what happened and the officer who interviews her all but forces her to retract her statement at first. My only criticism is that it’s almost identical to the Netflix drama, Unbelievable, down to the fact that Abz is in care and even the details of the rape itself. But it’s still very well done.

Karen’s devotion to Abz is brilliant and the addition of Zara to the story is fantastic. With her own recent experience still at the forefront of her mind, she very much comes through for Abz and gets things done when she needs to. The only distraction is Zara’s car storyline which is meant to be funny but is just a bit annoying.

Still upset with Zara, Daniel lets Jimmi down by failing supportive over his news that the security guard has backed out of being a witness in the case. Subsequently, Jimmi shuts Daniel out of his support network. Al, Emma and Rob all pull together to try and find a break in Jimmi’s case. When Al treats an old employee, he mentions another ex-employee called SJ who was stashing money behind the till. Al practically stalks her, convinced that she knows something that can save Jimmi. Personally, I am starting to find this story a little bit boring now. I wish they’d just get on with it. When Emma sneaks a peek at the computer of the officer in charge of Jimmi’s case, she gets caught and lands herself in trouble. But a conversation with Zara helps her manipulate her way out of it! Well, she is a pro!

After Daniel and Joe end up being held hostage by a desperate man not allowed to see his son, Daniel and Zara finally confront their feelings for each other and get back together in secret. Well, it’s sort of a secret. They’re all over each other so much that Valerie almost hears them down the phone, they’re almost caught by Emma, prompting Zara to cover by slapping Daniel and Joe walks in on them in bed together!

After their disastrous date at The Icon, Jasmine shows up at The Mill with flowers and a better understanding of the menopause, wanting to make things work.

Sid and Valerie are forced to reach the sad conclusion that not everyone is ready for help when they fail to reach a woman trapped in an abusive relationship. Ruhma treats a very anxious mother who lost one of her twins the last time she gave birth. A vasectomy appointment leads Sid and Ayesha to look after a couple dealing with the aftermath of a terrible assault. There’s also a very strange episode about a woman who thinks she’s being stalked by Joe Pasquale. Yes, really.

Joe Pasquale makes one of the most bizarre cameos ever!

Doctors is on weekdays BBC1 at 1:45pm

Eastenders: The Aftermath

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

In the fallout from the dramatic events on the boat, Whitney is held in custody, desperately trying to explain that she isn’t a murderer. The family persuade reluctant Gray to act as her solicitor but it’s only when Mick finally admits his role in the situation that he gets his act together and helps her. They spin a story that Whitney was all over the place and without realising what had happened, Mick dragged her upstairs and forced her to get ready before dragging her out of the house so they weren’t late for the party. She was in a state of shock and didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately, this backfires and the police believe that Whitney merely has the ability to make men obey her, for example, Kush pushing Leo off a balcony.

In a bid to cheer Tiffany up (and in an Eastenders bid to have Zack Morris wet and naked), Keegan buys her a wedding ring and hides it in a cupcake. Not realising what he’s done, she throws the cupcake into the outside bins (on bin day) and rejects him. Jumping out of the shower, Keegan races outside in a panic, desperately trying to get the correct bin back and of course drops his towel in front of a cheering crowd. Tiffany is won over and accepts the ‘proposal’ and happiness (and the towel) is restored.

Sharon is utterly broken over the death of Denny. She struggles to take care of her new son and is keen to palm him off on eager Gran, Karen, even letting her name him – Kayden, because she can’t think of anything herself. Ian does everything he can to support his best friend, rescuing her from nearly taking an overdose when she is so overwhelmed with grief. Even Shirley takes care of her and they’re not exactly friends. However, eagle-eyed Peter is quick to spot Ian looking shifty. I suppose he’s familiar with his Dad telling lies! He asks Bex and Dotty questions about Ian and Denny on the night of the boat crash. Then he confronts Ian about his suspicions.

Ben continues to struggle without his hearing. Jay does his best to support him, as does Lola and they take him to a hospital appointment where he is told he will need a cochlea implant to restore sound. They see an absolutely atrocious Doctor, in my humble opinion; he doesn’t even bother to speak to Ben. He hands him a few written notes but otherwise ignores him and just speaks about him to Jay and Lola. Hideous.

Ben’s mind is still on Callum and his desperation to find him even though Shirley was literally sent to the exact warehouse he is located in. I mean, they could have searched it a bit better ages ago! But finally, Ben, Jay and Stuart search the place again and Ben finally finds the poor bloke, half dead in the basement. He is rushed to hospital where Stuart explains that Ben has lost his hearing. And despite being so injured and left there for days, he is up on his feet again in no time, as if nothing has happened! When Ben breaks down over his hearing loss, lovely Callum is right there to support him.

Jean receives the news that her cancer treatment has worked! Hooray! She greets the news with mixed feelings. On the one hand, she is thrilled to be clear of cancer. On the other, she knows that Daniel has been hanging on until he knows she is well. She even tries to lie to him about her news at first but of course, he finds out very quickly. And it’s not very long until he slips away, knowing that Jean is safe and well to move on with her life. I am genuinely sad. I have loved watching Jean so happy with Daniel these past few weeks. It’s such a shame to have to say goodbye.

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Doctors: Hot Stuff!

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

Ayesha takes her concerns about Bear’s extracurricular activities to Zara and Daniel who reluctantly speak to him about them, having discovered that The Mill is thousands of pounds in credit. He explains that he has been busy doing deals on the side to make money for The Mill and is deeply offended when they are not impressed. He is further upset when he discovers that it was Ayesha who raised the alarm, as he is still deluded enough to think he stands a chance with her. Well, women love guys who ignore them for an entire date in favour of texting.

Karen continues to do good work with her foster daughter, Abz who is clearly getting very attached to her. Karen overhears her referring to her as her mother when talking to her new University friend and has to delicately encourage her to be open about her situation. Karen and Rob throw a party for Abz’s 18^th. Valerie and Ayesha pop over to celebrate and her new University friend comes too with her boyfriend, although they don’t stay. It’s all a bit overwhelming for Abz, who has never had people care about her before. Afterwards, Karen and Rob settle her into her new flat but it’s clear that it’s going to take her a long time to get used to living on her own.

Emma and Jasmine are the new hot couple!

Emma and Jasmine continue to get to know each other, ending up in bed after a ‘breakfast date’. However, Emma is alarmed to end up having a hot flush afterwards, alerting her to realise that alongside the flushes of romance, she is also potentially at the beginning of the menopause. While Zara tries and fails to be sympathetic, it’s a struggle to be honest with Jasmine, who is significantly younger than Emma.

Valerie is all dressed up for a night at The Icon!

To say goodbye to The Icon, Al holds a lock-in for his punters and his colleagues. Sid takes over by hosting a silent disco, much to Al’s annoyance. The night goes off with a bang when Daniel discovers that Zara has been watching his private video diaries. Well, he’s not pleased, as you can imagine.

Daniel and Zara’s night ends in a bitter row…

The witness in Jimmi’s case backtracks over identifying Jimmi, giving him hope for his freedom. He is also landed with a new cellmate, a police officer who killed his brother.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Doctors: The Glory of Love

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Emma bites the bullet and goes to lunch with Lena and the pair finally discuss the end of their relationship. Emma confronts her own sexuality and is regretful that she missed the chance to be with Lena now that she has moved on from her husband and into a relationship with another woman.

Enter: Jasmine, a police officer working on a hit and run case with Rob and Emma who is quick to flirt with Emma and is bold enough to ask her out on a date. My favourite line of the week is after she leaves a cream horn on her desk as a gift.

“Did you get the horn?”
Excellent, Doctors. Excellent.

Emma is a bag of nerves when she goes for dinner with Jasmine and the date mostly goes well, aside from some awkwardness over their age gap (Jasmine is only a little older than Emma’s son, Chris). There is definitely a kiss at the end of the night and the fledgling couple continue to spend time together through the week. Emma eagerly reports back to Zara.

Zara somehow watches Daniel’s video diaries…

Zara secretly watches Daniel’s video diaries, although I’m not entirely sure how. The link between Joe’s iPad allowed him to see their phones and that was severed. How can Zara see Daniel’s phone? But anyway, Zara is absorbed by Daniel’s diaries and how he truly feels about her but she’s left disappointed when he eventually concludes that they work better as friends and he tells her as much himself. I like that they’re not rushing their reunion, even though it’s clearly going to happen. Once upon a time, I was of the opinion that Zara was too good for Daniel but actually, I feel like he has grown a lot over the past few months and earned his way back into her life.

Daniel continues to support Jimmi and other prisoners at the prison, including a murderer with a serious eye condition trying to reconnect with his daughter. However, things are halted rather abruptly as a complaint is made against Daniel and he is removed from the prison without much explanation. Feeling a lot of empathy for Daniel since watching his diaries, Zara goes into bat for Daniel at the prison and gets his job back, asking the Governor to keep her interference quiet.

After receiving the expensive bracelet, Ayesha becomes suspicious of Bear and follows him to a lockup where he sorts out a load of boxes and talks to a contact on the phone. I’m sure there will turn out to be some sort of reasonable explanation but I am still convinced that he is dodgy. I don’t like him. I don’t like him at all.

Sid gets caught up with a severely OCD man who has cut himself by accident and locks himself in his flat, terrified that his equally OCD mother will come home. Sadly, his mother died months previously and he needs a lot of mental health support. Al is left devastated when he delivers a homeless girl’s baby, only for the young woman to die during labour. Rob and Karen take on a new foster child.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Eastenders: The Boat Party Episode Four

(Friday 21^st February 2020)

Everything comes to a head at the boat party as Ben makes it clear he would have no qualms in shooting his father for the sake of his boyfriend. Phil releases Keanu who attempts to make his escape, only to be collared by Ben. The two men fight and fall off the boat. Both survive but by the end of the episode, still not clear as to where Callum is, Ben appears to have seriously damaged his hearing.

Below deck, Ian does the right thing and desperately breaks Dennis free of his prison and together, they fight their way through the flooded corridor. Unfortunately, it’s too late and it looks like both of them are about to drown…

Back on the Square, Martin, who has been bizarrely absent from the big week and the big Keanu storyline, being that he has been so involved up to now, returns home from drinks with his mates from football, to find Sonia in a right old state. Not only has she not been able to get hold of Bex to warn her about the drugs she bought, there’s a dead man on her kitchen floor.

As the rescue takes place, the partygoers gather on lifeboats, desperately seeking their loved ones. Kat and Kush have done a good job of looking after Bex, who is desperately regretful of her actions. Mick manages to rescue Linda at the last minute and Stuart and the others on their lifeboat, drag the couple to safety.

Kathy turns into a midwife and safely delivers Sharon’s baby, who arrives just in time for the paramedics to arrive. Apart from Doctors, obviously, these soaps do not celebrate the wonderful NHS at all. Sharon is rushed to Walford General and weirdly, so are all the casualties of the boat party, despite it not being possible that that could be the most local hospital to them. But Sharon’s joy turns to heartbreak when Keanu breaks the news to her that Dennis has drowned. Ian too is destroyed by the news, broken by his own guilt. Well, a lot of people need to feel guilty, really. If Sharon hadn’t lied to him, he wouldn’t have got on the boat. Phil, Ben and Keanu caused the boat to crash in the first place. And of course, Ian locked him down there in the first place. But let’s not forget why he locked him down there. Because he was a bully and a thug and his behaviour nearly killed Bobby. So let’s not shed too many tears for him, eh? All in all, if someone had to die, he was probably the best candidate!

By the end of the episode, Sharon is broken, Ian is wracked with guilt, Ben appears to have lost his hearing, Bex has seen to error of her rebellious ways, Whitney has handed herself into the police for Leo’s death, Linda and Mick are back together and she is ready to seek help for her alcohol addiction, Callum is still missing, Denny and Leo are both dead and Keanu has skipped the country. Happy 35^th birthday, Eastenders. You gave us a good ‘un!

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Eastenders: The Boat Party Episode Three

(Thursday 20^th February 2020)

The partygoers are clinging to help in the water as the boat begins to sink in the Thames. The bust of the Queen Victoria sinks. Nooooo!

Seven Hours Earlier…

Ben is going out of his mind trying to save Callum. Meanwhile, Sharon lies to Denny, confirming that Phil and Ben killed Keanu. She then pledges a future to him, just them and the baby. I’m not sure I could think of anything worse! While she packs up, ready to leave, Ben drags her to the funeral home, holding her hostage in a bid to exchange her for Callum. Sharon is horrified to learn what Keanu has done and insists to Ben that she has changed her mind about leaving with Keanu – it’s just her and Denny now. She then goes into labour.

Phil is laying low with a gun in the cellar of the Queen Vic with Shirley, having set her on the case of locating Callum while he tracks Keanu down. He breaks into Karen’s house, where she is excitedly getting ready for the boat party, threatening her and demanding to know where her son is.

Ignoring calls from Karen while he attempts to track Sharon down, Keanu bumps into Denny who realises that Sharon has lied to him. The angry teenager then heads off to the boat party. Sharon breaks up with Keanu on the phone and begs him to let Callum go. Keanu mentions that Denny went to the boat party and is determined to fight for Sharon and the baby. Sharon begs Ben for help, prompting him to call Kathy before heading to the boat himself. Things get tense between Karen and Phil. Billy arrives and knocks Phil out but not for long. He overhears them mentioning Keanu heading for the boat. He’s off!

Alone, Callum manages to release himself from his ties (he couldn’t have done that days ago?) but he falls during his escape and ends up in more danger. When Shirley comes to rescue him, she can’t find him. You know… I’m starting to doubt his credibility when it comes to being a copper…

On the boat, at least a few people are having a good time but out on deck, Phil lays into Keanu who can only apologise for his behaviour. It’s genuinely sad to see the breakdown of their relationship. Phil saw Keanu as a son and more than angry, he is hurt by his betrayal. And Keanu, who never had a Dad, saw Phil as the only father figure he’d ever known.

Phil and Keanu finally come face to face…

Phil almost takes pity on him but then Shirley rings to say that she can’t find Callum anywhere. Believing that Keanu has lied to him again, he loses it and they fight. The Captain tries to break it up but gets knocked out, putting the whole boat in danger! A shot rings out but just hits the glass. Unfortunately, the brawling men knock the wheel, veering the boat off course and they hit a nearby ferry.

We see the devastation on board as everyone is thrown about, including Denny, locked up downstairs and Linda, getting her foot trapped as she reaches for a bottle of wine in the kitchen. Phil is ready to shoot Keanu but Ben turns his own gun on his father, refusing to let him kill Keanu; he is still the only person who knows where Callum is…

(Also, as an aside, separate to the episode, we’ve all now heard the news that the legendary Jude Brown has left Eastenders. Such a shame that she didn’t depart with a storyline befitting an incredible character as Dot Branning and a wonderful actress as June Brown. But many well wishes to June and thank you for all the memories.)

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Eastenders: The Boat Party Episode Two

(Tuesday 18^th February 2020)

At the beginning of this episode, there is chaos as the boat party comes to a close and emergency services are on site, getting people to the life boats. Ian is struggling in the water.

Seven hours earlier…

Sharon refuses to let Denny attend the boat party. Dottie is horrified to discover that Denny is behind the online posts about Bobby. I mean, if Dottie is judging you, mate, you’ve done something really bad! She’s the spawn of Nick Cotton!

Kathy and Ian argue over how he has treated Bobby, who has had a brick thrown through his window and is being abused online. Meanwhile, Bobby is walking through the Square with Habiba and Iqra when they are jumped by some racist thugs. They shout abuse and there’s one particularly vile moment when one lad grabs his crotch and tells the girls it’s Halal. I mean, they’re disgusting. It’s uncomfortable viewing to say the least. Bobby does his best to protect the girls but he gets severely beaten. I actually couldn’t watch most of it; it was too upsetting.

Bex witnesses the whole thing and attempts to frighten them away by calling the police. She has just come back from buying pills from the dealer Dottie hooked her up with. She tells Dottie about the attack, prompting Dottie to reveal that Denny is behind the online abuse. Against Dottie’s wishes, Bex texts Ian to tell him what she knows.

Ian and Kathy rush to the hospital to be with Bobby, who is critically ill and has been taken into surgery. However, when Ian gets Bex’s text, he rushes to the boat party to confront Denny. He locks him in the changing room in the downstairs of the boat, which we know from Monday’s episode, gets flooded. Ooh… will Denny die? Finger’s crossed!

Max and Jack end up in a fight when Jack reveals that Lauren and Peter have broken up. Jack has been helping Lauren and sending her money. A lot of cruel words are spoken and fists fly. But it’s a good way of throwing out a lot of Eastenders history (Abi’s death, Jack’s daughter Penny being in a wheelchair, not to mention actually existing). Soon after, we hear what sounds like a gunshot, which is presumably connection to Ben/Phil/Keanu.

At the hospital, Kathy gets an urgent call from Ben, needing help. She then calls a mystery friend for help. And who is it that shows up at the hospital? Peter Beale! With a new but genuinely similar face for a change, not like the usual recasts. Kathy meets Ben to find that Sharon is in labour! Ben leaves but Kathy is genuinely amazing to Sharon and supports her through her labour, reminding her that they are both from a line of strong women. In the sweetest moment of the week so far, Sharon tells Kathy that she misses her Mum.

“Me too,” Kathy says.

They hug. Then Kathy notices that Sharon is bleeding.

Kathy looks after Sharon in her time of need…

Meanwhile, Sonia is on edge at the arrival of the police. Well, there is a dead man in her kitchen and evidently, that’s not what the coppers are there for. They are investigating a dealer selling dodgy pills and Bex’s number was one of the last people to call her. Bex isn’t in trouble but they are concerned for her welfare. No wonder she is feeling rough on the boat! Luckily, Kush and Kat on hand to look after her. For now.

When the boat hits, Ian panics and rushes below deck to rescue Denny but he can’t find the key. Then the second shudder happens and more alarms go off. He drops the keys and his glasses (it’s all very Titanic). Denny is panicking and begging for help. In a very un-Kate-Winslet-like move, Ian backs away. Will he really let Denny die?

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm

Eastenders: The Boat Party, Episode One

(Monday 17^th February 2020)

Well, it’s a special occasion so I thought I’d write day by day for this one. You don’t turn thirty five every day, do you? So, the plan for these episodes is to tell the story of one day, each episode focussing on one set of characters. A bit like Emmerdale did the other week. This episode is all about The Carters and Whitney.

For starters, the show has changed its credits to much, much darker ones… Ooh! A bit like Coronation Street did last week. Then at the beginning of the episode, there is chaos in the water as the boat is sinking. Jack yells Whitney’s name. Sonia and Big Mo are screaming and shouting. Ben looks stunned. There’s a body bag. So someone is dead. It had better not be Tracey, that’s all I can say! The emergency services are there, which is unusual. Usually in these sorts of situations in a soap, the untrained cast members have to resolve things themselves!

Seven Hours Earlier…

So, the locals are gearing up to celebrate the Queen Vic being the Best Pub in London at boat party on the Thames. Linda is busy getting the party started early by getting extremely drunk, leading the one of the most epic fights soap has ever seen! There are punches and glasses thrown and everything! It’s so brilliantly staged! Jack the policeman just stands by and watches. It’s down to Tina and Kat to break it up.

Upstairs, Shirley is kind to Linda and admits that she has always been jealous of how much Mick loves Linda; she’s never had a relationship like that and never will. She begs her not to throw her marriage away.

Meanwhile, panicked Whitney calls the only man she can trust: Mick. Quite frankly, he just doesn’t need the stress of a dead body right now. Now, he does the kind thing and looks after Whitney but he does the stupid thing and attempts to cover it up. Leo died by accident. He was attacking Whitney. He died because he was stalking her and trying to kill her. But now they’ve left his body there, dressed Whitney up and taken her to a party with the murder weapon with the intention of dropping it in the Thames. So it’s going to look like she did it on purpose. The only thing she has on her side is his weird Loft House and Spy Hole.

Mick supports Whitney in the wake of Leo’s death…

Linda leaves Mick a heartfelt message, telling him that she still loves him and doesn’t want to lose him. However, she then sees Mick offering support to Whitney and gets the wrong idea. She packs everyone onto the bus (including the Queen Vic Bust) and demands the driver take off, leaving Mick, Whitney, Kat and Kush behind so they have to make their own way there. Charming!

On the boat, Linda is three sheets to the wind and behaving obnoxiously. She declares to the whole party that Mick and Whitney have been having an affair. Mick tells Whitney that he can’t go through with their plan. They have to tell the police the truth about what happened but he will take the blame for trying to lie. He can’t cover Leo’s death up; he has to be there for Linda and support her through her addiction.

Linda has made her way down to the kitchen where she gets the bright idea to balance on a little step to try and reach a bottle of wine of a shelf. Then the boat hits something (Big Mo suggests it’s an iceberg!), Linda falls and her ankle gets trapped between a unit and the counter (ouch, ouch, ouch!) I mean, the wine bottle falls down and everything but it probably wasn’t worth it.

The partygoers panic as the crew send everyone to the lifeboats, they are taking on water on the lower deck. Mick rushes down below to try and find Lina. It genuinely is like that scene in Titanic where Leo DiCaprio is handcuffed to the post and Kate Winslet has to axe him out of there, Kellie Bright being Jack and Danny Dyer being Rose! Only Jack was falsely imprisoned, Linda was drunk and incapable and trying to steal wine! As the room begins to flood rather quickly, Mick tries and fails to release Linda’s foot and keep her calm as she begs forgiveness for her behaviour. The boat shakes again and more alarms sound. Linda begs Mick to leave her but Mick refuses, telling her he loves her.

“If this boat goes down, I’m going down wiv ya!” #truelove

Sonia arrives home, having ditched her weekend away alone and gets rather a shock to find Leo dead on the kitchen floor. The police arrive and she looks awkward. So… did she call them about Leo or are they there for another reason?

Other things that happen in the episode that will presumably come to light later in the week:

Phil is hiding out on the boat with a gun,

Ben attempts to catch up with the boat,

Jack’s card is rejected,

Denise warns Jack that he needs to tell Ian that Lauren and Peter have split up,

Max ends up with a bloody nose but from who?

Tensions flare between Patrick and Isaac prompting Patrick to want to tell Isaac that he is his father,

Ian spends the whole party looking for Dennis,

There a bang that sounds like a gunshot!

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Doctors: Computer Control

(Monday 10^th – Friday 14^th February 2020)

Al formulates an app that will predict cancellations, completely ignoring the fact that as an incredible receptionist, Karen can already predict this better than any computer. On the first day of the trial, Karen does indeed predict the cancellations and Al’s app, which double books appointments based on who it thinks will cancel, turns the surgery into absolute chaos. Patients end up waiting an hour and a half for appointments and even walking out. Bear persuades Al to give it up. Karen proudly shows him that at the beginning of the day that she was far more accurate with her predictions that his app could ever have been.

Staff at The Mill have begun to notice the growing attraction between Bear and Ayesha and I am not happy about it! Bear quizzes Karen about Ayesha’s relationship status and arranges to go to a CCG meeting with her followed by lunch. I remain convinced that he is behind Jimmi’s incarceration. The meal doesn’t go well, as just like during a recent meeting. Ignorant Bear spends most of the time on his phone. And I’m pretty sure he mentions something about a ‘lock up’. My suspicion grows. He becomes almost aggressively jealous on ‘Galentine’s Day’ when he mistakenly believes there’s something going on between Ayesha and Valerie. But thankfully, he seem to have blown it without even realising and when he gives Ayesha a Valentine’s Day present; she neither understands why he is bothering or how he can even afford such an expensive gift.

There’s a really sweet episode where Al gives up an afternoon at a comic convention to treat a nun with a UTI and then help another nun with kleptomania. She started stealing dog food when she angry with a supermarket for calling the police on a homeless man needing food for his dog and wouldn’t let her buy it for him. Then she started stealing hundreds of tins, all from the big supermarkets. Al refuses to let her hands the tins back or to turn herself in. It won’t do anyone any good. Instead, they donate the tins to a dog shelter who really need them, helping to absolve herself of her guilt.

In a rather hilarious episode, Karen gets drunk with a rather annoying friend of hers who is bitter and angry and having some sort of midlife crisis. She wants a career change and has dumped her boyfriend and is clearly jealous of Karen’s success. She’s even jealous of her head injury and memory loss! But Karen falling off the swings and generally being very funny is worth it for having to put up with her irritating mate.

Meanwhile, Emma helps Daniel and Zara with Joe’s blaster gun party which is absolute chaos. While Daniel joins in the fun, Zara attempts to control the chaos and Emma gets hilariously drunk. But the next door neighbour thinks that actual guns are being fired and calls the police. The next thing they know, armed police descend on the house, frightening everyone, apart from drunk Emma who finds the whole thing rather exciting. However, Joe and his friends think the police turning up has made it the best party ever!

Rob discovers Joe’s online friend, Pixie…

Rob comes to sort the whole situation out but he makes an even more alarming discovery when he gets chatting to Joe and discovers that he has been talking to a girl called Pixie online. It soon transpires that Pixie is actually Al and he was trying to prove to Daniel and Zara just how unsafe Joe is online. At first, Daniel is absolutely livid but surprisingly, Zara is quite reasonable and asks Al to help them protect Joe online. However, when he connects their phones to his tablet, Joe is able to see the content of their phones as well. Left in Valerie’s care, he casts his tablet to the main screen in the waiting room and accidentally plays one of Daniel’s video diaries to Valerie in the empty waiting room. Zara rushes out and stops it before making Al change the settings to block Joe from seeing their phone content. Later, Zara watches Daniel’s video diaries. Another step towards them getting back together?

Daniel and Zara discover that Al has been talking to their son online…

Emma is surprised when her old flame, Lena asks to book her spare room for the weekend, especially when she books it for Valentine’s Day. Lena has left her husband and has decided that she is much more interested in women and is a lot happier with herself and her life now than she was when they were together. Emma is about to make her move when Lena announces that she is six months (and eight days) into a new relationship. Then she asks if her girlfriend can stay as well, landing Emma with sharing a house with a very happy couple for the weekend! Poor Emma.

Rob and Emma support a grieving mother seek justice for her son, victim of a postcode killing by a gang of thugs. Valerie, meanwhile brings together a couple who have only communicated over playing chess on the Internet.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm