Neighbours: Mardi Gras!

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

Jane confides in Susan about the catfish and although Susan is compassionate, she makes it clear that harassing students is not acceptable. Jane is suitably abashed. When Jane accuses Elly, nobody believes it. Eager to help, Paul sets Jane up with Private Investigator to help her find the catfish. Unfortunately, Jane then walks in on Paul talking to Dipi, exasperated over how Jane could be so foolish as to fall for it in the first place. Jane gives a heartfelt explanation which comes down to one thing: loneliness. It’s genuinely sad, especially when she tells him it’s even worse now as she’s broke and embarrassed on top of being lonely.

Thinking they are being burgled, Roxy attacks Paige who has come to visit. Roxy denies that she has any interest in Mark but is blatantly jealous over the obvious attraction between Paige and Mark. Paige privately admits that she and Jack are having relationship issues and she thinks he may be having an affair; he barely speaks to her and he is always chatting online to someone. Roxy calls Paige out on already knowing that Mark was in Erinsborough and having the full intention of getting back together with him, which she denies. I am Team Roxy on this one.

Terese is a good Aunt and interferes, bringing Jack to Ramsay Street to sort things out with Paige. He also brings with him none other than Mark Gottlieb! And he is just as annoying as he was in the nineties! He has given up the collar and is now a celebrity chef but met Jack on a Christian forum and has been counselling him. Paige and Jack finally talk. Jack explains that he needs to go back to the Priesthood. They have the friendliest and crappiest breakup in the world. It’s just weak. Paige and Jack fought so hard to be together during their last stint on the show and they worked so well. Presumably the story is to bring Paige and Mark together, a couple that never worked. They made a terrible couple. So now they’ve broken up a lovely couple just for the sake of this. I’m sorry, Neighbours but this is utter rubbish.

Mark G, meanwhile bumps into old flame, Lucy. One of the weddings we’re going to see during the birthday week, perhaps?

Pierce gives Chloe a random island he once bought to do whatever she wants with. You know, just a causal island. Who doesn’t have an island? And if you can afford an island and a hotel, of course you’d be living in a small house on a cul-de-sac, wouldn’t you? Anyway, the island is of course necessary for Neighbours’ birthday party so I won’t complain too much…

Sheila is furious with Gary for abandoning the house while she was away. He went to London to find Prue and soon after he returns home, Sheila and Harlow discover that Prue is also on her way to Erinsborough, having left The Order. Harlow is beside herself with anxiety over seeing her mother and then further upset to realise that she is actually coming to see Gary, not her. Sheila walks in on a rather naughty Skype call between Gary and Prue!

Hendrix admits to Pierce that he and Harlow nearly kissed. When Harlow confides in Mackenzie, her friend warns Hendrix not to mess her around. This finally gives Hendrix the green light to tell Harlow how he really feels. When Harlow is upset about Prue, he is genuinely sweet to her. I think this could be a lovely pairing.

Lucy asks Bea to be their hotel wedding singer for the Wedding Expo. However, she tells her that for the sake of the hotel’s reputation, Finn is not welcome at the event. Bea turns down the gig on principal. Finn is furious with Lucy for putting his girlfriend in that position and also for judging him on a past he doesn’t remember when he has changed so much since then. Finn continues to ignore calls from Trent.

When Karl installs a sensor alarm for Elly that keeps going off, he sends Finn round to fix it. But the sound completely overwhelms Finn to the point that all his memories are triggered. Everything that happened, everything he did and everything that was done to him – his relationship with Elly, posing as Patrick and using Bea, Susan pushing him off the cliff – everything comes rushing back. His whole memory has been restored. Leaving Kyle to fix the alarm, Finn rushes home, sobbing alone. His whole life has changed forever.

It’s Mardi Gras and Aaron and David set off to represent Lassiters! They have an amazing day (filmed the year before in order to show it on the correct day) where they wave and cheer on the float, have to run and hide from one of Aaron’s exes, Aaron makes a fool of himself in front of Jake Shears and they have a fabulous conversation with Courtney Act. This is probably my favourite Neighbours cameo ever. She is the just the best!

Back in Erinsborough, everyone gathers to celebrate Mardi Gras as a community and Lassisters is all dressed up in rainbows! While Mackenzie is overwhelmed to be in a situation to be in a gathering where she is actually being celebrated rather than tolerated, everyone is partying and looking forward to seeing Aaron and David on TV. I truly love the inclusivity of Neighbours. Long may it continue.

Finn attends the party, attempting to pretend that nothing has happened. He lies to Elly that he was just feeling overwhelmed as they were supposed to stay away from each other. Things take a turn when Lucy orders him to leave. He struggles to control his anger, following her out of the party where she phones Chris to talk to their daughter. The old Finn would have had no qualms in harming her. But he manages to control himself and leaves the party to go home. He confides in his video diary and is still desperate to be a good person. Well, the trailers reveal that that’s not going to work out…!

Finn’s world comes crashing down as his memories return…

Channel 5, 1:45pm and 5:30pm

Home and Away: No Happy Endings

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

Tori’s family wait with baited breath as Alex checks Tori over. She is verbally unresponsive but obeys instructions during Alex’s assessment. The family are disappointed when Tori rejects her daughter. Justin had pinned all his hopes on Tori waking up being the answer to everything. Eventually, Tori begins to become more herself but she just doesn’t feel like Grace is her child.

It’s Jasmine who steps up in the end, presenting Tori with the memory book she has spent the past few weeks putting together. At first Tori doesn’t want it but Jasmine begs her to at least look at it. Through looking at the photos and watching her baby grow through the pictures, Tori finally accepts that Grace is hers. Mother and daughter are quick to bond.

Justin makes it clear to Robbo that he can no longer take Grace away to live on the farm. Tori thanks Alex for looking out for Mason. Willow comes to visit Tori, purely to create an opportunity for Alex to make a remark about her next job, making Willow realise that her girlfriend’s stay in Summer Bay could be short-lived. Clumsy but necessary. Ironically, Willow was just talking to Jasmine about the double-edged sword of Tori waking up. For Jasmine, she has the joy of Tori waking up but she loses Grace. Little did Willow realise, she too has the joy of Tori waking up but it means she may well lose Alex.

Irene begins to worry that neither she nor anybody has heard from Leah since lunch the previous day when she took a phone call and left. She had assumed she went to the hospital but when, the next day, Mason confirms that nobody there has seen her, Irene begins to fret. This is not like Leah. Later, Justin realises that his girlfriend has been missing for a whole day. The man really can only focus on one thing at a time. He and Irene report Leah missing to the police, telling Colby everything they know. She has been gone for two nights with no contact.

Over drinks that evening, Willow, who had only just been telling Irene how happy she and Alex are, is not feeling very happy at all. She frets to Alex about the end of her contract, although Alex doesn’t seem concerned, certain that everything will be okay. UK viewers then see a kiss that was deleted in Australia. It’s really a very simple kiss. Of all the kisses we’ve seen during this storyline, it seems an odd one to cut out. Willow is still upset the next morning, working Alex hard at the gym. Alex continues to try and reassure her.

Mac is annoyed with Dean for going on a two day drinking binge during their trip away, which had been intended to clear his head. They bump into Colby. It’s as awkward as ever. Dean is annoyed when Mac refuses to serve him more alcohol. Willow is unimpressed with his behaviour. Or the way he smells! Dean is bitter; he tells Willow that people like them never get a happy ending. I hope he is wrong!

Still worried about her future with Alex, Willow frets to Colby. Making a decision, Willow visits Alex at the hospital and tells her how deeply she feels for her. She admits that she is scared of their relationship ending but that Alex is worth the risk. Channel 5 then show another kiss that was deleted in Australia and the end of the scene which shows Willow inviting Alex away on a trip for a few days. This explains a scene that will air later when I believe Jasmine mentions something like ‘lots has happened while you’ve been away’ that left all the #Willex fans in Australia wondering where on earth they had been!

Ben and Maggie visit Ziggy down at the track. They are worried about both her and Dean. Ziggy pretends that she doesn’t care about the man she loves. Giving in, Ziggy finally calls Dean, who has got caught up getting drunk at Salt and a random girl answers his phone. Understandably getting the wrong end of the stick, Ziggy hangs up. But while Dean ends up in a fight with the girl’s boyfriend and then getting arrested by Colby, Ziggy goes to a party with her new colleagues. While her driver, Alana quietly warns her not to let her husband, Kurt use her, Ziggy heeds the warning and invites another guy called Joe from a different crew back to her room. Always a good decision – go off with another guy when you don’t quite know where you stand with your boyfriend – that never backfires!

Ryder introduces Jade to Bella. As his girlfriend! Jade is not impressed! At the end of the night, Ryder spots Jade stealing again but this time, he is not having it. He insists that she tell Mac the truth or he will. When she doesn’t, he follows through and tells Mac exactly what happened. He is shocked when she calls Colby to arrest Jade. He had expected her to be more understanding. Later, Ryder and Jade both apologise to each other and end up in bed. But it’s all revenge for Jade who secretly films the whole thing on her phone. Before he knows what’s happening, he has been arrested, accused of putting a sex tape online without Jade’s consent. Poor Ryder. The only thing he’s guilty off is being gullible.

Meanwhile, Mac notices that Bella is right as rain while hanging out with Ryder and Jade at Salt but as soon as Colby needs to speak to Mac about Dean, she feigns exhaustion and suddenly needs to go home. Mac tries to warn Colby that Bella is lying but he doesn’t want to hear it. Robbo too has got Bella’s number. However, he has bigger problems. He receives Lance’s bloodied police badge through the post and a picture of a snake tattoo. We are hurtling towards what was the Australian Season Finale, guys!

(Channel 5, 1:15pm & 6pm (sneak peek, weekdays on 5STAR at 6:30pm)

Eastenders: The Aftermath

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

In the fallout from the dramatic events on the boat, Whitney is held in custody, desperately trying to explain that she isn’t a murderer. The family persuade reluctant Gray to act as her solicitor but it’s only when Mick finally admits his role in the situation that he gets his act together and helps her. They spin a story that Whitney was all over the place and without realising what had happened, Mick dragged her upstairs and forced her to get ready before dragging her out of the house so they weren’t late for the party. She was in a state of shock and didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately, this backfires and the police believe that Whitney merely has the ability to make men obey her, for example, Kush pushing Leo off a balcony.

In a bid to cheer Tiffany up (and in an Eastenders bid to have Zack Morris wet and naked), Keegan buys her a wedding ring and hides it in a cupcake. Not realising what he’s done, she throws the cupcake into the outside bins (on bin day) and rejects him. Jumping out of the shower, Keegan races outside in a panic, desperately trying to get the correct bin back and of course drops his towel in front of a cheering crowd. Tiffany is won over and accepts the ‘proposal’ and happiness (and the towel) is restored.

Sharon is utterly broken over the death of Denny. She struggles to take care of her new son and is keen to palm him off on eager Gran, Karen, even letting her name him – Kayden, because she can’t think of anything herself. Ian does everything he can to support his best friend, rescuing her from nearly taking an overdose when she is so overwhelmed with grief. Even Shirley takes care of her and they’re not exactly friends. However, eagle-eyed Peter is quick to spot Ian looking shifty. I suppose he’s familiar with his Dad telling lies! He asks Bex and Dotty questions about Ian and Denny on the night of the boat crash. Then he confronts Ian about his suspicions.

Ben continues to struggle without his hearing. Jay does his best to support him, as does Lola and they take him to a hospital appointment where he is told he will need a cochlea implant to restore sound. They see an absolutely atrocious Doctor, in my humble opinion; he doesn’t even bother to speak to Ben. He hands him a few written notes but otherwise ignores him and just speaks about him to Jay and Lola. Hideous.

Ben’s mind is still on Callum and his desperation to find him even though Shirley was literally sent to the exact warehouse he is located in. I mean, they could have searched it a bit better ages ago! But finally, Ben, Jay and Stuart search the place again and Ben finally finds the poor bloke, half dead in the basement. He is rushed to hospital where Stuart explains that Ben has lost his hearing. And despite being so injured and left there for days, he is up on his feet again in no time, as if nothing has happened! When Ben breaks down over his hearing loss, lovely Callum is right there to support him.

Jean receives the news that her cancer treatment has worked! Hooray! She greets the news with mixed feelings. On the one hand, she is thrilled to be clear of cancer. On the other, she knows that Daniel has been hanging on until he knows she is well. She even tries to lie to him about her news at first but of course, he finds out very quickly. And it’s not very long until he slips away, knowing that Jean is safe and well to move on with her life. I am genuinely sad. I have loved watching Jean so happy with Daniel these past few weeks. It’s such a shame to have to say goodbye.

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Doctors: Hot Stuff!

(Monday 24^th – Friday 28^th February 2020)

Ayesha takes her concerns about Bear’s extracurricular activities to Zara and Daniel who reluctantly speak to him about them, having discovered that The Mill is thousands of pounds in credit. He explains that he has been busy doing deals on the side to make money for The Mill and is deeply offended when they are not impressed. He is further upset when he discovers that it was Ayesha who raised the alarm, as he is still deluded enough to think he stands a chance with her. Well, women love guys who ignore them for an entire date in favour of texting.

Karen continues to do good work with her foster daughter, Abz who is clearly getting very attached to her. Karen overhears her referring to her as her mother when talking to her new University friend and has to delicately encourage her to be open about her situation. Karen and Rob throw a party for Abz’s 18^th. Valerie and Ayesha pop over to celebrate and her new University friend comes too with her boyfriend, although they don’t stay. It’s all a bit overwhelming for Abz, who has never had people care about her before. Afterwards, Karen and Rob settle her into her new flat but it’s clear that it’s going to take her a long time to get used to living on her own.

Emma and Jasmine are the new hot couple!

Emma and Jasmine continue to get to know each other, ending up in bed after a ‘breakfast date’. However, Emma is alarmed to end up having a hot flush afterwards, alerting her to realise that alongside the flushes of romance, she is also potentially at the beginning of the menopause. While Zara tries and fails to be sympathetic, it’s a struggle to be honest with Jasmine, who is significantly younger than Emma.

Valerie is all dressed up for a night at The Icon!

To say goodbye to The Icon, Al holds a lock-in for his punters and his colleagues. Sid takes over by hosting a silent disco, much to Al’s annoyance. The night goes off with a bang when Daniel discovers that Zara has been watching his private video diaries. Well, he’s not pleased, as you can imagine.

Daniel and Zara’s night ends in a bitter row…

The witness in Jimmi’s case backtracks over identifying Jimmi, giving him hope for his freedom. He is also landed with a new cellmate, a police officer who killed his brother.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Coronation Street: I’m Coming Out!

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Ray is determined to make Abi pay for torching his car. Scared, Abi asks Sally for an alibi, which of course she refuses to provide. Paula acts as Abi’s lawyer but she is clearly frustrated with her during the interview. Kevin then steps up as Abi’s alibi but when his car is spotted on CCTV, he is found out to be a liar, getting him into legal trouble himself. Sally is furious. Kevin tells Abi how much he likes her.

James and Danny end up in bed and are almost caught out by Ed but manage to distract him. Over breakfast the next morning, James blurts out to Ed that he is gay. Ed is shocked but tells his son that he loves him no matter what. James later tells his family about Danny. To his face, Ed does his best to be supportive but he later confronts Danny, telling him exactly what he thinks and accusing him of corrupting his son. James overhears everything and is devastated to learn what his Dad really thinks. Ed tries to explain, pulling out that awful line that LGBTQ folk get bashed over the head with at least once in their lives: ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’. Aggie is angry with her husband for letting James down.

Ali feigns congratulations when Maria and Gary announce their engagement. Ryan stops Ali from telling Gary about his one night stand with Maria.

Fiz is left completely shut out of the craft session with Jade and Hope when Hope draws a picture just of her and Jade. Jade persuades the little girl to add in the whole family but Fiz is certain that Jade enjoys her being excluded. She makes excuses as to why Jade can’t see Hope again at the weekend.

The Frescos launch does not go well. First, they refuse to delay so that Chesney and Gemma can take Aled to a hospital appointment about his hearing. The appointment is a bust anyway as the baby needs to be asleep. They make the launch but Gemma and Chesney are made to stand at the back while the babies are displayed at the front. They watch themselves on the TV screen, telling the audience how amazing Frescos is and aren’t allowed to tend to their babies, including Aled who is struggling. Frustrated, Chesney rushes forward and tends to his child, telling the gathered audience the truth about Frescos and the campaign. They lose all their money.

Harassed and busy the next morning, trying to juggle work, the babies and attending a last minute hearing appointment for Aled, Chesney fails to take Joseph right to the door of his football club. He is horrified later to realise that football club isn’t actually on and races back to collect him. He finds his son, sitting sadly on a bench, having had his trainers stolen by some older kids. Joseph accuses his Dad of only caring about the babies. Chesney is full of regret, although he still lets him get on with his day and rushes to Aled’s appointment, where he and Gemma learn that their little boy is indeed profoundly deaf. Gemma tries and fails to win the Frescos campaign back. She is left feeling like a bad Mum for not realising her son was deaf.

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm

Emmerdale: The Flowers

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Mandy continues to campaign for Marlon in some somewhat questionable ways, including a rather gross egg eating competition. Some of the Dingles mark what would have been Lisa’s birthday. RIP.

Charity is bereft without Vanessa, believing that she has gone off on their honeymoon without her. Unfortunately, Vanessa is not off sunning herself somewhere, she is locked up in Laurel’s house at the mercy of Pierce who is keeping her from her son who is being kept upstairs under sedation. And that’s not even the worst of the poor woman’s week. Pierce listens to a voicemail from the hospital, prompting him to delve into her bag to find a letter from them, confirming that she has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer! What??? No!!! This is just unacceptable, Emmerdale. My only hope is that as Michelle Hardwick is married to one of the producers, her job is secure. My only issue really is that she seems to be tied to a drawer. Drawers are flimsy at best. Sure she could pull it out? I don’t know. Maybe it’s one of those false drawers? But to her credit, she never gives in to him or stops standing up for herself.

Pierce opens up to Vanessa about his Dad dying of cancer but it ends up in a row. He’s vile, pretty much telling her that she’s going to die and leave her son behind. It’s pretty horrific, uncomfortable viewing. He agrees to let her see Johnny if she helps persuade Rhona to see him. He steps away from Kim and Jamie, claiming to have got a job down South.

Torn up with guilt, Ryan brings the stolen money to Rhona and tells her the truth about what he and Charity got up to on the night that Graham died. Rhona confronts Charity, who feels less guilty but Rhona is persuaded that if they were stealing from Graham, they couldn’t have killed him. Charity admits that Vanessa found out and that’s why she has left her. Rhona tells the police that she found the stolen money in the house and believes it’s motive for Kim to have hired Al to kill Graham. The police head straight round to Kim who struggles to talk her way out of it. Charity texts Vanessa to say she has done the right thing and that ‘Rhona knows’ but Vanessa refuses to enlighten Pierce as to what it means.

At home, Rhona finally finds the card that dropped out of Pierce’s flowers! Panicked, she contacts the police and discovers that her ex-husband was released from prison weeks ago but she never got the message (thanks to Graham). It doesn’t take long for her to twig that he is responsible for Graham’s death and she reports her theory immediately. Pierce overhears the police sending out a search for him.

Dawn has what she believes to be a successful weekend visit with Lucas, despite a momentary panic when a den that Billy has built for him collapses on top of him. She shouts at Billy, scaring Lucas but everything is resolved and they all have fun together as a family, including Harriet and Will. They have a Nerf type gun fight (I’m not sure what brand it was supposed to be!) When Dawn pops out for hot chocolates, Harriet, Will and Billy are shocked to find themselves facing Lucas holding a real gun! Billy talks him down and they hide the gun in time for Dawn to take her son out for a playdate with Priya and Amber. Will has a lot of explaining to do… Apparently, since embarking on a relationship with Harriet, he has been scared of his old ‘colleagues’ coming after him. Harriet is understandably livid. The trio keep the incident from Dawn. Against Will’s wishes, Harriet asks Cain to get rid of the gun.

Moira and Cain have signed their divorce papers but it’s clearly not the end of their relationship, despite their claims. Tracey and Nate briefly fall out when well intentioned, she sends him off to try and help Moira with the rustlers, only to be rejected. Nate advocates for Moira, prompting Cain to threaten him, just as Cara returns to the Village. However, taking Nate’s words on board, Cain helps to look out for Moira on the farm, still denying that he has any residual feelings for her. Taking Will’s gun, Cain guards the farm but things go wrong when he spots an intruder and fires. He has shot Nate! Oh well. Never mind.

Nate is rushed into surgery with Cain, Moira and Cara all waiting anxiously at the hospital where sadly, he will be just fine. When the police conclude that rustlers wouldn’t have used a handgun, Cara is certain that Cain is responsible for the shooting, although of course, he denies it. Nate claims not to know what happened and lies for Cain even after he confesses to truth to him. Moira looks on as father and son finally begin to bond.

In the continuing boring story of Liam and Leyla, the new couple continue to try and keep their boring relationship from Leanna. Marlon refuses to be Eve’s Godfather. Also, Brenda does some weird, awkward flirting with Nate. It’s uncomfortable for everyone, including the viewers.

Emmerdale is on at 7pm Monday to Friday with a second episode at 8pm on Thursdays

Hollyoaks: Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye)

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Cindy gets carried away with the opening of the Bazaar. On opening day, Cindy and Luke are dressed in weird matching outfits and Tom is dressed as an anxious magician. For the most part, the day goes well. They have some brilliant names for different parts of the market, bringing back Mobs Juice Bar as a tribute to Max and OB and a vintage clothes stall called Sweater Thunberg! The only thing that goes wrong is Luke messing up the burger stand due to his illness but Darren rescues him and takes him to an appointment (which of course he gets within moments, not like in real life when you’d have to wait months to see a Consultant). Luke is told that his condition is potentially hereditary and could be passed down to his children.

Ollie is over the moon when Luke agrees to help him raise his baby. However, as the stress of the situation begins to get to him, Luke’s symptoms increase and while his son is busy making plans, Luke has to come to terms with letting him down. Nancy, Kyle and Ollie are on hand to support Brooke when she goes into labour. In one pretty excellent scene, Brooke gives one of the nurses a dressing down when she doesn’t speak directly to her due to her autism. Well done, Brooke! Brooke spends a brief moment with the baby before handing him over, explaining that she desperately wants him to have a better life than she can offer.

Ollie is heartbroken to overhear Darren and Luke discussing Luke’s condition and that he is dying. Darren has to break the news that Luke won’t be able to raise the baby with him and it’s time to say goodbye. Later, they share the news that the condition is potentially hereditary and Ollie, DJ and the new baby could end up with it. This makes Ollie even keener to look after his boy but he is forced to accept it’s not possible without the right support. He and Brooke pass the baby onto his new parents along with a memory book Ollie has made. He is devastated when they leave the book behind.

Feeling utterly broken by the loss of his son and the news of his father’s illness, not to mention, rejected by Brooke, Ollie dismisses Imran’s friendship in favour of a night out with Sid. He gets drunk, leaving him vulnerable to Jordan who offers him ketamine at The Loft, which he accepts. And so Ollie’s ‘flashforward’ storyline begins…

Kyle is keen to try for another baby but Nancy shuts the idea down. He buys more weed from Jordan and is caught out by Nancy when he falls asleep on the couch as he stinks. He lies that it’s the first time in years and was just to manage his MS pain. She accepts it but warns him not to smoke in the house. She also sees it as proof that they should not be thinking about kids.

Maxine is excited about becoming the manager of the salon and reluctantly gives Lisa a job. But her new income isn’t enough to keep her menacing landlady away and she arrives to take away all her belongings and demand payment of rent arrears. She is then caught out in another illness lie in front of Damon, severing the friendship they have only just started to rebuild. With nowhere left to turn, Maxine agrees to let Liam pimp her out to Clayton but again, Damon catches her out, thinking that he has been left to look after Minnie so she can go on a date. Broken, she tells him the truth but between the lies to her landlady and disbelieving that she didn’t see the demand letters, he doesn’t believe the awful mess her life is in.

Liberty and Brody continue to grow closer as they prepare to become parents to their baby, unaware that Sienna has been watching them on a camera from the doll’s house. They pledge to forget about her and become a family and remain oblivious when she sends them flowers.

Mercedes and Warren are the new couple of the moment, although Joel and Goldie give them a run for their money when Marnie catches them at it at the café. Yas is delighted to get her hearing aids fitted, allowing her to hear for the first time since the explosion. Romeo and Juliet agree to take Nightingale as their surname.

Channel 4 at 6:30pm or a sneak peek 7pm on E4

These reviews are based on the E4 episodes

Neighbours: Memories…

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

When Ned suspects that Yashvi is working for Zenin, he foolishly interferes and takes her place, once more messing up the whole thing. Of course Yashvi isn’t working for Zenin; it’s a sting operation and she’s working undercover for the police. Yashvi manages to put in some damage limitation and Zenin is at least caught out but unfortunately, Ned is caught too. It’s funny really. When these two first got together, she was the young, immature one who was absolutely besotted with him. Recently, Yashvi has really grown up and he just seems to make mistake after mistake. I think she’s outgrown him.

Ned interferes with bringing Zenin down…

Things get worse for Ned as, in the dog house with Yashvi, he also finds himself in trouble with the law. The case is much bigger than with just the local police and who is the Detective covering their area? Detective Mark Brennan! Newly promoted, just in time for Neighbours 35^th birthday! Toadie is furious to learn that Ned sent Zenin a forged letter from him on letter headed paper, which prompted his offices to be broken in to. Therefore he can’t represent him. And while Terese and Paul tell Ned off for blaming Yashvi for keeping secrets, Mark advises Yashvi to rethink her choice of relationship while she has a promising career ahead of her.

Mark’s friends and family are thrilled to see him back in Erinsborough. Ned apologises to Toadie but Shane is determined to see him out of Yashvi’s life. Roxy is oddly familiar with Mark considering how badly he treated her before his departure. Mark agrees to give a talk to the Buddy Club.

Another returnee to Erinsborough is Lucy Robinson. Chloe is surprised although apparently she was copied in on emails. Evidently she has been flooded with emails with Paul in a bid to overwhelm her and make her miss Lucy’s arrival. She is immediately under pressure from Lucy, although Pierce stands up for her. Terese does her best to encourage Lucy to support Chloe who is having an absolute nightmare back at the hotel but nothing Chloe does is good enough.

It’s the last straw when Chloe is let down over the royal wedding dress but while Lucy is at least willing to listen to her other ideas, Paul tears a strip off of her. Encouraged by Pierce to stand up for herself, Chloe goes too far and loses it with him, getting extremely personal as she attempts to put him in his place. Having witnessed the argument, Lucy decides to let Chloe go. She also asks Terese to resume her role at the hotel in her place. Despite her guilt over Chloe and her love of the Buddy Club, Terese takes the job. Well, what has Lassiters been without Terese at the helm? Terese immediately has ideas about the wedding expo, looking at infamous weddings from Erinsborough past. She asks Toadie about displaying Sonya’s wedding dress as part of the expo. She accidentally offends Chloe by asking to resume her previous role as her Executive Assistant. She was only trying to be nice…

Meanwhile, Elly’s family and friends gather for Aster’s Naming Day Ceremony, conducted by Susan. Finn and Bea are named as Godparents and Shaun is mentioned a lot. There is no way this guy isn’t coming back from the dead at some point. His ‘death’ was way too odd. No grandparents on either side bother to show up and Elly’s so called best friend, who was at one time going to be the kid’s step-mother is too busy with her own life to attend either. Mark and Elly come face to face for the first time since the baby has been born. It’s awkward. She kind of thrusts the baby at him. It’s more awkward. Aaron also backs out of the ceremony and goes for drinks with Mark. Chloe and Pierce join them, with Chloe having just been fired.

Having enjoyed such a lovely family day together, Susan and Karl invite Elly and Aster to stay the night. However, things go bump in the night when everyone else is asleep and it’s just Elly and Finn awake. Finn is under pressure from Trent constantly trying to contact him and Elly is emotional from the day just gone. Of course an emotional conversation leads to a kiss. And during the kiss, Finn has a flashback to kissing Elly during the life he has forgotten. They both panic, Elly because she has cheated on her sister and Finn because a) he has cheated on his girlfriend and b) because of what a flashback could mean. She goes home and neither of them gets any sleep. He considers telling David the truth but backs out when he imagines his Doctor’s response. He retreats further when Susan reiterates that he is very much part of their family now.

Jane just about manages to talk her way out of trouble with Susan for rooting through her files. She goes through various suspects including Mr Muggleton who has just jetted off on an expensive holiday during term time and out of the blue and then Ritchie who we know from Erinsborough High, has completely reformed and is now dating Mackenzie. So, with those two ruled out, it’s back to the drawing board but one thing I am finding annoying is that Jane is supposed to be exceptionally intelligent. I’m not saying clever people wouldn’t fall for a catfish, especially someone lonely and vulnerable like Jane but would she really be charging around the way she is, trying to find out who tricked her?

Harlow and Hendrix argue over Clementine again. But then, what don’t they argue over? When Mark finds the cat at home, he throws her out, not knowing that they have shared custody. Outside, Harlow accidentally reverses over her with the car! No! That’s horrible! Poor little cat. At least she had caviar for her last meal, I suppose. But seriously, this is unnecessary trauma, killing off the cat…

Hendrix is devastated and blames Harlow, believing that she did it on purpose because she hated her and hates him. Harlow, Hendrix, Ned, Terese and Roxy gather for Clementine’s funeral (Piper sends her thoughts and a book, being that she was originally her cat). Terese says a few words, including the fact that Clementine was the first person she told about her cancer. Hendrix is genuinely emotional, explaining that Clementine was the only person who really gave him a chance on the Street, no questions asked. He finally realises that her death was an accident when Harlow expresses her regret and appreciates how much love and joy she brought to people’s lives. When Harlow gives Hendrix one of the cat’s toys, she also offers her friendship. They are about to kiss when Harlow sneezes, allergic to the toy. It ruins the moment and I still don’t think it’s acceptable to kill the cat just to bring these two together. There were other ways! But I guess I’m pleased that they’re heading in the right direction.

Hendrix is devastated over Clementine’s death…

Hendrix is furious when he learns that Mark put the cat out, prior to her death, prompting him to apologise to Terese and the family for his role in her death. I am reminded why I am probably the only viewer who never really liked Mark.

Two other things to note: a very random story about Naked Roxy hosting a naked brunch, attended by Naked Kyle, Naked Aaron, Naked Toadie and Naked Karl. Also, so much love to Neighbours for their tribute to Eastenders’ 35^th birthday. They had a fab shot of Eastenders themed cocktails outside The Waterhole. One birthday soap to another. I’d just love it if Eastenders, who are famous for slipping in an extra scene here and there, would return the gesture in a few weeks when it’s Neighbours’ birthday.

Happy birthday, Eastenders – love Neighbours!

Channel 5, 1:45pm and 5:30pm

Doctors: The Glory of Love

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Emma bites the bullet and goes to lunch with Lena and the pair finally discuss the end of their relationship. Emma confronts her own sexuality and is regretful that she missed the chance to be with Lena now that she has moved on from her husband and into a relationship with another woman.

Enter: Jasmine, a police officer working on a hit and run case with Rob and Emma who is quick to flirt with Emma and is bold enough to ask her out on a date. My favourite line of the week is after she leaves a cream horn on her desk as a gift.

“Did you get the horn?”
Excellent, Doctors. Excellent.

Emma is a bag of nerves when she goes for dinner with Jasmine and the date mostly goes well, aside from some awkwardness over their age gap (Jasmine is only a little older than Emma’s son, Chris). There is definitely a kiss at the end of the night and the fledgling couple continue to spend time together through the week. Emma eagerly reports back to Zara.

Zara somehow watches Daniel’s video diaries…

Zara secretly watches Daniel’s video diaries, although I’m not entirely sure how. The link between Joe’s iPad allowed him to see their phones and that was severed. How can Zara see Daniel’s phone? But anyway, Zara is absorbed by Daniel’s diaries and how he truly feels about her but she’s left disappointed when he eventually concludes that they work better as friends and he tells her as much himself. I like that they’re not rushing their reunion, even though it’s clearly going to happen. Once upon a time, I was of the opinion that Zara was too good for Daniel but actually, I feel like he has grown a lot over the past few months and earned his way back into her life.

Daniel continues to support Jimmi and other prisoners at the prison, including a murderer with a serious eye condition trying to reconnect with his daughter. However, things are halted rather abruptly as a complaint is made against Daniel and he is removed from the prison without much explanation. Feeling a lot of empathy for Daniel since watching his diaries, Zara goes into bat for Daniel at the prison and gets his job back, asking the Governor to keep her interference quiet.

After receiving the expensive bracelet, Ayesha becomes suspicious of Bear and follows him to a lockup where he sorts out a load of boxes and talks to a contact on the phone. I’m sure there will turn out to be some sort of reasonable explanation but I am still convinced that he is dodgy. I don’t like him. I don’t like him at all.

Sid gets caught up with a severely OCD man who has cut himself by accident and locks himself in his flat, terrified that his equally OCD mother will come home. Sadly, his mother died months previously and he needs a lot of mental health support. Al is left devastated when he delivers a homeless girl’s baby, only for the young woman to die during labour. Rob and Karen take on a new foster child.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Home and Away: Wake Up, It’s a Beautiful Morning…

(Monday 17^th – Friday 21^st February 2020)

Dean spots a text on Ziggy’s phone, revealing the truth about the job. He mentions to Ben that Ziggy is acting strangely. When Ben finds out about the job, he urges Ziggy to be honest with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Ziggy seeks Willow’s advice about Dean and the two women quickly realise they both have secrets they’re too scared to tell them. Willow gives her best advice – be honest and then get him into bed!

Alex isn’t concerned about Bella but tells Colby to monitor her; he cancels his shift to look after her. Colby is clumsy around Alex but is genuinely happy for her and Willow. Colby also can’t resist teasing Willow about Alex. When Dean nearly catches them kissing, Willow makes an idiot out of herself trying to clumsily explain in front of Alex, not that Dean even actually notices; he’s too consumed with his own problems.

Willow frets to Alex about Dean, now that she knows Ziggy also has bad news for him. Alex points out that their news isn’t actually bad. Dean is annoyed when he realises that Ziggy has been talking to everyone but him. He is hurt that she doesn’t feel that can just be honest with him. When he tells Willow that, she feels it’s the right time to be honest with him herself and she comes out to him about her relationship with Alex. He doesn’t take it well, especially when he realises that other people already know and that they all went for drinks together without her telling him that they were an item. He storms off. Such a grown up. Meanwhile, Ziggy prepares a special meal for Dean who is ignoring her messages.

Maggie wants to get started on Bella’s school work to get her into Year Twelve. If they don’t start now, she will have to repeat Year Eleven, which she refuses to do. Colby and Bella then propose the idea of home schooling instead. Maggie agrees but doesn’t think it’s a good idea. She and Roo offer to teach Bella over the holidays as a favour. Colby and Bella are discussing the plan when Dean bursts in, in a bad mood about Willow. Colby and Bella both tell him off for not being supportive. Dean finally answers Ziggy’s call. All is not well. He admits to Colby that Ziggy has accepted the pit crew job and not bothered to tell him.

Willow frets to Alex about Dean’s reaction to her news. Out for a walk on the beach, Willow wants to escape in Alex who notes that her girlfriend hardly slept for fretting about Dean. Just then, Dean approaches them, wanting to sort things out. Alex leaves them to it and Dean and Willow apologise to each other. He is completely supportive of her new relationship. He also thinks Alex is hot. Well, he has a point. Thrilled, Willow reports back to Alex who finally admits how scared she was that it was all going to go wrong. Willow thinks it’s adorable that Alex pretended to be in control when she was so worried. Alex admits how important it is to her that Willow’s friends like and accept her. Then she congratulates Willow on coming out for the first time. Then, on the wharf where ten years ago, Charlie and Joey, Home and Away’s first attempt at a lesbian couple said goodbye, Alex and Willow kiss, full of happiness.

Ben hassles Ziggy over the way she is treating Dean, shutting him out and avoiding the problem when she is about to leave the Bay for her new job. She is terrified of losing him. When he points out that she will lose him anyway, Ziggy finally goes to speak to Dean. He is hurt that she didn’t bother to tell him and that she is leaving so soon. They break up. Broken, Ziggy says goodbye to her parents and sets off for her new career. She and Dean are both full of regret. Dean opts to get drunk. Colby takes his car keys.

As Dean’s mood plummets and news of the breakup spreads, Ben and Mac tell him off for messing up his surf school bookings in favour of drinking and dwelling on his personal problems. Between them, Mac and Ben do their best to sort him out.

Jade is unimpressed when Ryder brings her flowers and brushes him off when he is keen to spend more time with her. Undeterred, he is still full of the joys of spring, convinced that he has met the girl of his dreams. I am pretty sure he has actually met the girl of his nightmares. Things take a turn when he catches her stealing $50 from the till. She makes excuses but when the till is down by $50, rather than ratting her out, he pays it back and makes an excuse about making a mistake himself. The odd couple end up in bed together again but things go south when he continues to question her about the theft. At first, she loses her temper but then she spins him a sob story, accompanied by the world’s smallest violin. Getting sucked in, he gets her an extension on her rent and forgets the $50 he paid for her. She continues stealing from Salt. Ryder is the most gullible guy on earth.

Tori is finally moved to Northern Districts where Justin has his heart set on her being taken off the ventilator and waking up, convinced this is the answer. Mason, however, is losing hope that his sister will ever be the person she once was. Justin also accuses Robbo of objecting in case it messes up his plans to move away with Jasmine and Grace. At first, Super Doc Alex’s attempts to get Tori breathing on her own don’t work but eventually, when Robbo and Jasmine bring Grace to see her, she begins to breathe on her own and wakes up. What is it? That magical healing of a baby? She is largely unresponsive but her eyes are open. It’s a start. I mean, I’m pleased. I like Tori. Also, Justin whinging is very annoying. But I’m not happy. Tori wakes up, she starts back at the hospital and… Alex leaves. And I like Alex. Much more than Tori.

But anyway… it’s Marilyn and John’s fifth wedding anniversary so Martha invites them, Leah and Irene round for lunch with her and Alf. At lunch, Leah tells Irene how much she loves Justin. Like, even more than Vinnie (RIP)! But she then takes a weird phone call from an unknown number…

(Channel 5, 1:15pm & 6pm (sneak peek, weekdays on 5STAR at 6:30pm)