(Tuesday 22^nd September – Monday 5^th October 2020)

Ian’s life plummeted even further down the toilet as it all came out about his theft of Max’s money.  For the second time in a row, Max wrecked his attempt to raise the cash to pay him back, Sharon took him down a peg or two after the way he has been throwing his weight around with her since she turned him down and he continued to completely let his youngest son down.  He really has become a terrible, terrible person.

Speaking of Max, he and Linda suddenly seem to be BFF’s, don’t they?  I know they did that wife swap thing a while back but I didn’t realise they were besties now!  However, Linda was quick to look out for Max when she realised he was being screwed over by Ian.  And on a night out with the girls when she caved and had a drink, feeling stifled by Mick who was genuinely trying to look after her, Max stepped in and made sure she was okay.  But of course, in soap, nobody can just be mates, can they?  Of course they had to have a secret snog.  Unacceptable!!!

For now though, Mick is distracted by his dislike and discomfort with Frankie’s interest in his family.  Tina has completely misread the signs that Frankie fancies her, leading to a more awkward moment than she even realises.  But when Linda allowed Frankie to babysit (because her son was annoying her), Mick lost it and snatched Ollie away, demanding to know why she was so interested in his family.  The young girl finally confessed that she believes his family is her family – that he is her Dad.  Now, while I am annoyed at the potential rewrite of Mick and Linda’s entire relationship, I do like Frankie and I am curious to know where this is going to go.  I am also excited at the prospect of Simone Lahbib coming bounding onto the Square, presumably as Frankie’s mother.  Bad Girls reunion anyone?!  I mean, just to wave my rainbow flag for a moment, any gay woman my age (maybe not even my age) was in love with Simone Lahbib back in the Bad Girls era.  I actually cannot explain how exciting it is to think she is joining Eastenders.

Ahem.  Moving on.

So, what on earth is going on with Callum, the nicest boy in soap?  He’s only been in uniform for five seconds and he’s turning into some kind of dodgy cop, controlled by an even dodgier cop.  He’s also managing to turn into a Mitchell, controlled by Phil.  He’s making Martin Fowler look like he’s had the last year completely under control!  Honestly, what are the writers playing at?  I don’t like it.  Callum is our equilibrium in Eastenders.  He is the good amongst the dark.  He is the moral compass.  If you have him beating Phil’s gangster mates up and trying to fit Phil up with the police, what hope is there for anyone?!

Meanwhile, Gray’s murderous activities seem to have so far gone undetected.  Although Kheerat raised the alarm with Mitch, Karen dismissed the idea completely out of hand.  She is going to be so distraught to have believed in him so sincerely.  Mitch did suspect him.  He has always suspected him.  Unfortunately, Gray used Mitch’s own guilt for being an absent father to deter him from any accusations.  He really knows how to get into people’s heads.  And the funeral is on the first day of Whitney’s trial.  Of course it is.

In other news:

• Martin had to persuade Ruby not to press charges against Stacey for the sake of the kids but Jean quite rightly didn’t welcome her daughter back to the Square with open arms.

• Denise was shocked to be reunited with her son, Raymond when his adoptive parents were killed in a car accident.

• Amy accused Isaac of smoking weed when he dropped her as a tutoring student, upset because she had a crush on him.

• Stuart and Rainie participated in the first social distanced wedding, with him trapped inside a car.  Very creative!  She also announced that she was pregnant, which a lot of people have objected to as she was previously revealed to be infertile and they think it is unrealistic.  I have two words for you: Sharon. Mitchell.

• Jags and Habiba came out as a couple.  Suki was not happy.  She even wasted a perfectly good cupcake.

Eastenders airs on BBC1 on Mondays @ 8:05pm, Tuesdays & Thursdays @ 7:35pm & Fridays @ 8:30pm