Neighbours: I Love You More

(Wednesday 18^th March 2020)

The 35^th Anniversary episode begins with the original theme tune playing as none other than Des Clarke steps out of a taxi. He looks around as Shane and Dipi frolic in a sprinkler, another throwback to the olden day credits. A voice over, which blends into Susan and Karl reading through her wedding speech for Mark and Paige, throws out so many of the old lyrics we know and love. And I’m sure there are loads of ‘Easter Eggs’ I will have missed throughout the episode but I’ll mention the ones that I spotted.

Des visits Paul who is thrilled to see him and explains the story of the Catfish and that Jane is still in love with him. Des is sceptical. Jane broke his heart and dumped him on the telephone. The last time they saw each other, he was in a bad place and starting to fall for her again and she just vanished without explanation. He isn’t sure that Paul is correct. However, persuasive Paul convinces him to attend Paige and Mark’s wedding to at least create the opportunity to meet up with Jane again and see what happens.

Jack brings Gabe to Erinsborough for the ceremony. My favourite moment of the whole episode comes from the bridal party trying to decide on a wedding song. Ned (son of Beth, played by the legendary Natalie Imbruglia) suggests, ‘Torn’, which Yashvi has never even heard of. Young people!!!

“My Mum used to sing it all the time,” he says.

Mark and Aaron both wear kilts to the wedding (and Aaron has stolen Mark’s underwear!) as the wedding must be in theme with the wedding they’ve replaced (Tom and Ian – a holler to Tom Oliver and Ian Smith who of course, played Lou Carpenter and Harold Bishop). Gabe walks Paige down the aisle and Aaron films everything for Chloe. Paige and Mark are shocked when the wedding goes smoothly. They are just a normal, happy couple, celebrating their wedding day. One particularly cute moment during the ceremony comes from Aaron and David, mouthing to each other:

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

It melts the hearts of #daaron fans everywhere, including mine.

Afterwards, Paige, Mark and Gabe gather to open their honeymoon box and Terese can only tut when she realises that Paige has swapped the box so that they are going to Palawan instead of Rome. So… who has got the bomb now?

Jane is pleased to see Des again but becomes embarrassed and angry when she realised that his appearance is due to Paul’s meddling and that Paul has read her private emails to Richard. When she tries to walk away from the two men, her heel gets caught and she pulls down a canopy, which topples down on Des, knocking him to the ground!

While Susan is worried about not being able to get in touch with Bea, Shane reports that Toadie has decided to stay on The Island for longer. Susan and Karl inform David of ‘events on The Island’, presumably of Bea and Finn’s breakup.

Jane lets slip that Sky is in Erinsborough for her own wedding, just as her fiancée, Lana Crawford arrives and introduces herself to Shane and Dipi. They explain that as teenagers, Lana had been desperately in love with Sky but Sky hadn’t understood her own feelings. They bumped into each other again and it now feels like they have come full circle. Having been dating six months, they want to get married. The only problem is that Sky’s ex, Dylan has always hoped that he and Sky would get back together. Sky had hoped that Toadie would be able to support Dylan when she broke the news but now, he is on holiday. (Actually, he is potentially dead or dying).

Kind Shane (who has been playing classic cricket on the Street with his family) offers to take on Toadie’s role in supporting Dylan if it means that Sky and Lana can go ahead with their wedding plans and they gratefully accept, phoning Dylan who immediately books a flight to Erinsborough. The girls worry that Dylan has got the wrong end of the stick and thinks that Sky wants to give things another go. Surely nothing is going to get in the way of the love story that the LGBT youth (now LGBT adults!) were denied so many years ago?

Channel 5, weekdays 1:45pm and 5:30pm

Plus Neighbours Late: Endgame 10pm, Channel 5

Coronation Street: Standing in the Way of Control

(Monday 2^nd – Friday 13^th March 2020)

Geoff continues his campaign of cruelty, this fortnight, this time working on driving Yasmeen and Alya apart. However, Alya spots a spelling mistake in the constant, targeted reviews and realises that it’s not Ray behind them but Geoff himself. While Yasmeen defends her husband, Alya also discovers that money has been withdrawn from the business account. At first, Geoff pushes the idea of buying Alya out but when she won’t budge, he decides that he and Yasmeen should pack up their lives and move to Cyprus. He is furious when his wife is not keen on the idea.

Meanwhile, Eileen mentions in passing that she has noticed a real change in Yasmeen. She also tells her about the night Gail saw her crying in the garden and that Geoff left her locked in a box for hours. Armed with this knowledge, Alya challenges her grandmother about what is really going on. Although Yasmeen denies is, insisting that Geoff loves her, Alya realises that she is scared of Geoff. She leaves, not wanting her to get into trouble with him if he finds her at the house but finally, someone understands that she is being abused. Finally, Yasmeen will hopefully get the help she needs!

Having accidentally lost all of Sinead’s belongings, on Sarah and Adam’s wedding day, Daniel completely falls apart during his speech, overwhelmed with how much he loves and misses Sinead. The penny finally drops for poor Bethany, who realises that they should not be moving to London together. The next day, he drunkenly decides to prove his love by proposing, with Sinead’s newly returned wedding ring! It’s all Bethany needs to end things between them and head off to London alone. Worried about Daniel’s state of mind, his family send him off to a retreat with Bertie, escorted by Beth of all people, presumably to give actress, Lisa George some time off to do marvellously well in Dancing on Ice. Hopefully Daniel will return without his beard or at least with a tidier one. He is currently reminding me of Ian Beale when he had his homeless storyline.

With wedding bells ringing in the air, Maria suggests that she and Gary get married sooner rather than later. However, Gary gets wind of her one night stand with Ali and it’s not something he can let pass. After threatening Ryan, he bumps into his old ‘colleague’ Sharon and trades in his client list in order to ‘sort’ things with Ali.

The next thing we know, Ali collapses with an overdose of diazepam and is rushed to hospital. When he wakes up, he swears he didn’t relapse but nobody believes him. He practically abducts Maria in order to convince her but only succeeds in pushing her further away. Gary basically admits it to him, provoking him into attacking him and then getting him arrested. He also loses Toyah’s friendship, as his ‘relapse’ leads her to have to admit she knew he was a recovering addict and still a practicing GP and therefore, she loses her job. Eventually, Ali decides to leave the Street and thankfully, the first thing actor, James Burrows did was get a haircut!

Guilty Maria confesses to her one night stand with Ali to Gary but is relieved and surprised when Gary chooses to continue their relationship.

Jade gets the wrong idea when Tyrone buys her a thoughtful birthday present on Hope’s behalf. Getting him alone, she kisses him, convinced that there is a romantic spark between them. Of course, he rebuffs her but she immediately informs Fiz that she and Tyrone have feelings for each other. Thankfully, the move turns out to be her downfall as when Hope overhears that Jade has tried to split her parents up, she is horrified and rejects her sister, even telling her that she loves her parents more than her. Well, goodbye, Jade! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

Aggie returns to nursing in the same week as she receives her Golden Heart of Wetherfield Award, which she is convinced she doesn’t deserve. At the ceremony, James is cornered by a journalist about his sexuality, after Danny accidentally outs him online. He meets with his manager and opts to deny that he is gay rather than come out. While Ed thinks it’s the right thing to do, Aggie and Michael wish James felt safe enough to be honest.

Roy shows his kind heart when he abandons his ‘bat group’ in favour of his niece, Nina. His friends object to her because she is different but Roy accuses them of being judgemental and walks away, as does Brian. He and Hayley lived too long a life being judged for being different and he isn’t prepared to let Nina go through the same thing. I am genuinely enjoying the connection between Roy and Nina (and Carla too).

Ken is very reluctant to say goodbye to his home. Claudia wants him to cull his book collection (which is just unacceptable) and he is not allowed to take Eccles with him (also unacceptable). However, Claudia is eager to get going and Tracy, Steve and Amy are already making plans for the house. Liz is buying their flat from them. It’s time for Ken to say goodbye. I am sure he’ll be back. Hopefully without Claudia.

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm

Neighbours: All at Sea

(Tuesday 17^th March 2020)

Finn returns to Elly, informing her that it’s all over with Bea and she has taken the dinghy back to the mainland to get some space as she was understandably upset. Elly then receives a message from ‘Bea’ assuring her that she is fine and heading to see their mother. Elly is worried and guilty but Finn encourages her not to abandon Chloe (who wants to leave anyway because of Mark’s wedding) when she has put in so much effort for her birthday. That night, Finn slips into Elly’s bed without her realising.

Roxy and Kyle continue to flirt up a storm, resulting in going skinny dipping together but remain certain that there is no sexual attraction. Yeah right. They will be at it by the end of the week if one of them isn’t dead first! (My prediction for that is that Gary might die for Kyle).

Alone in the forest, Hendrix and Harlow camp out together and it’s sort of going well. Harlow is very distracted, worried about her mother and Gary, knowing that Prue is lying to him. Hendrix is struggling not to be irritated. Eventually, Harlow texts Gary with the truth (which we saw in yesterday’s lunch time episode) but still, Harlow cannot settle.

The next morning, while Toadie shows off over his supposed fishing success, Finn plays the role of heartbroken boyfriend in the wake of his breakup with Bea. As soon as he is alone, however, he goes skinny dipping (a very gratuitous shot of his bottom) to celebrate his newfound freedom and the success of his plan. When he exits (another gratuitous shot of him covered in nothing but a small towel!), he is surprised to find Harry waiting for him. There is very little explanation as to how he is out of prison. Harry worked out from his visit that Finn has recalled his memories. Having tracked him down to the island, he filmed his attack on Bea. He also went to the storage locker and he is very concerned about the bomb materials.

Finn isn’t fazed and easily plays him, explaining that he is desperately trying to remain a good person (um… explain attacking Bea then!) and insists that he really cares about Harry and wants to keep him in his life. Harry requests that he proves it and the next scenes show them both putting their clothes back on and looking rather intimate. Finn then manages to persuade Harry to delete the footage of the attack when he gets back to the mainland. He also warns Finn that their party aren’t the only ones on the island.

Poor Toadie’s day goes drastically wrong…

Toadie prepares to head home via water taxi but on the beach, he spots the dinghy that Bea is meant to have returned home on, hidden in the bushes. He hurries to tell Finn who makes excuses but Toadie urgently wants to tell the rest of the group. Finn requests that Toadie show him the boat. Big mistake! On the beach, Finn bashes Toadie over the head with a rock. He apologises, admitting that Toadie has always been good to him and confesses to attacking Bea. Then he bashes him again, puts a hole in the boat and sends it out to sea. I mean… it seems unlikely that they would kill Toadie off but those are hard injuries and circumstances to recover from. But I guess this is a soap that brought both Dee Bliss and Harold Bishop back from the dead so anything can happen!

Down in the mine, Bea sobs alone and in pain, desperately calling out for help.

Channel 5, weekdays 1:45pm and 5:30pm

Plus Neighbours Late: Endgame 10pm, Channel 5