Eastenders: The Lies We Tell

(Monday 2^nd – Friday 13^th March 2020)

Jean gives Daniel’s special bed to Suki. When Suki doesn’t know enough about her treatment, Jean takes her on as a project, wanting to ensure she is getting the best care possible. She even falls out with Shirley, who begins to question the validity of Suki’s illness as they scatter Daniel’s ashes and Suki shows no signs of being unwell. Jean finally accepts what Shirley is telling her (I really do love their friendship) and sets about proving Suki’s lies, outing her as a fake in public.

Surprisingly, Suki admits fairly easily to her children that she has indeed been lying to them and then justifies it, claiming she had to do anything necessary to get her family back together. Ash and Kheerat drag her over to Jean’s to apologise for the way she has abused her trust and her situation. It does not go well.

Masood gifts Keegan and Iqra his old ice cream van for their business but Keegan’s day goes from high to low when someone breaks into the flat and robs them. Keegan and Tiffany give chase, only for the guy to steal Tiffany’s new wedding ring. Keegan chases the guy down and they scuffle, only for the police to grab Keegan instead and the thief runs off. The thief is white, of course. Who else would the police go for?

Ian lies to Peter and allays his concerns that he harmed Dennis, explaining away what happened. Ian then threatens Dotty, making it clear that nobody would believe her, no matter what rumours she tried to spread. However, later, Dotty listens to pocket voicemail from Dennis, crying out for Ian, who has locked him up. She uses it to blackmail him into buying The Arches for her.

Despite Sonia’s protestations, Bex heads off to go travelling, without a single remark from a single person about the risks of the Coronavirus.

Lola is shocked to discover that she is pregnant. Jay looks a hell of a lot happier about it than she does and while he is keen to become a family, Lola arranges to terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. Things get more awkward when Jay goes ahead and proposes. She then improves the situation by sleeping with Peter after a row after turning down his proposal. As if nobody saw that one coming! Well, poor Jay didn’t, I suppose. And Lola doesn’t tell him. She has the termination and they decide to carry on as they were. I can really see that working out…

Rainie is horrified when she comes face to face with an ex-client at the undertakers. Wanting to make her happy and prove his commitment to her, Stuart takes a leaf out of Jay’s book (because that went so well) and proposes to Rainie. It goes even worse than Jay’s proposal! She shouts at him in the middle of the restaurant and practically lobs the ring across the room!

Gray is under pressure at work, having taken on two difficult cases with Kush and Whitney. He is working for Kush for free and Whitney’s case is unlikely to be won. He is already in trouble for taking Leo on as an employee in the first place (so you’d think in reality that would create a conflict of interest so he wouldn’t actually be allowed to take the case). His boss warns him to persuade Kush to plead guilty or things could become much more difficult at work. He succeeds in manipulating Kush, convincing him that it will help Whitney’s case if he pleads guilty.

Mitch unwittingly causes trouble for his daughter…

However, when Whitney is refused bail, Gray is suspended from his firm. Stuck for money and with no work at the salon, Chantelle is tempted to take up some hours with Kheerat. I’m sure Gray will be thrilled at the idea of his wife working with the Panesar Brothers! She encourages Gray to continue working on Whitney’s case by himself, which will impress his bosses into lifting his suspension. Not wanting anyone to know what has happened, he goes out to a hotel to work, only to be seen. Rather than confronting him, Mitch phones Gray’s employers and learns about his suspension. He speaks to Gray without having any idea of the consequences of his actions.

Storming home, Gray immediately accuses frightened Chantelle of telling Mitch about his suspension. He then beats the living daylights out of her. Leaving the house, Karen pulls him into the pub, where everyone is waiting to celebrate him for working on Whitney’s case for nothing and despite the way his firm has treated him. He is flabbergasted. He then feels overwhelmed with guilt when he discovers that Chantelle did not tell Mitch about his suspension after all.

Meanwhile, Whitney remains on a hunger strike in prison. She has also stops taking water. One of the prison guards keeps trying with her but she doesn’t want to know; she has given up hope. By the end of the episode, she is suffering hallucinations of herself as a child and Tony’s voice. Worse than that, she can hear Atomic Kitten’s ‘Whole Again’ on repeat. Then she collapses.

Neighbours: #ThatLucyAndMarkSpark

(Monday 16^th March 2020)

‘The Promise’ by Girls Aloud plays as the Lassisters Wedding Expo gets underway and Wedding Number One kicks off: Lucy and Mark G, twenty years in the making. They even have their own hashtag apparently! #ThatLucyAndMarkSpark

Lucy and Jane discuss weddings gone by, including Paul’s many wives and of course, the glorious Scott and Charlene. #EspeciallyForYou Meanwhile, Mark G is beginning to panic. The last time he had a wedding, he walked out, having decided to become a priest. Poor Annalise (remember her?)

While Finn feigns enthusiasm for his relationship with Bea and their first holiday together, he offers to be helpful and take Susan’s forgotten folder to the Wedding Expo. Of course, there, he runs into Lucy who lays into him and calls him stupid for going near the place, threatening security and the police. I mean, I know Finn has become a psycho again and he’s about to kill a minimum of three people but Lucy doesn’t know that. And perhaps it wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t been such a cow. Not to stick up for a murderous stalker or anything.

On his way out, Finn overhears Terese and Pierce discussing the very precious honeymoon boxes, each dedicated to a couple getting married. She sends them off to her house for safe keeping. Finn tracks them down and when new couple, Hendrix and Harlow get distracted, Finn takes Mark and Lucy’s box and makes a casual bomb (as you do!) and puts it back in the box. Terese is then told that the sponsors then want the honeymoon boxes opened in front of all the guests. Meanwhile, Hendrix persuades Harlow to rebel and they sneak off to the island together.

David expresses some concerns about Finn to Karl and Susan, having spotted him storming away from Lassisters. Finn, Bea, Elly and the others head off to the island for their big party for Elly’s 35^th birthday. Finn is particularly eager to get away. Dipi fails to persuade Kyle to stay for Gary’s wedding to Prue.

Jane, Terese and Paul help Lucy get ready for her wedding and she and Mark finally do make it down the aisle despite his nerves. Twenty years after their initial romance, they say their vows and get married. Terese is surprised when they open their honeymoon box and announce that they are going to Paris. They were meant to go to Rome. They were also meant to set off a bomb! It turns out that Lucy didn’t want to send Mark to Rome and be reminded of his calling to be a Priest so she swapped their nametags!

Terese is told that the next couple to get wed have back out, opting to elope instead. When Sky Mangel reappears, Terese asks if she would move her wedding up a few days to take the couple’s place but she claims that she can’t as her partner won’t arrive in time. Jane is immediately intrigued as to who she is marrying but Sky is coy. Any Neighbours fan knows though that she is in fact marrying her teenage love interest, Lana Crawford, rectifying the storyline the show was not able to continue all those years ago. Hooray!

The couple that do take the vacant spot, however, are Mark B and Paige! Caught up in the emotion of Mark G and Lucy’s wedding, Paige proposes. Mark accepts and they put themselves up for the vacant spot at the Expo. Their box will be the bomb box! Now, I really don’t care much for Mark B but I do like Paige… I am not happy about this, especially as them getting back together at all feels very rushed and false in the first place, especially if the whole point is just to kill one of them off.

Channel 5, weekdays 1:45pm and 5:30pm

Plus Neighbours Late: Endgame 10pm, Channel 5

Doctors: Unbelievable

(Monday 2^nd – Friday 13^th March 2020)

The big story of the fortnight surrounds Karen and Rob’s foster daughter, Abz who phones Karen in a state of distress, telling her that she has been raped after a night out. The story covers three episodes, calling into question whether Abz is a reliable victim as she has a history of telling stories. It’s a genuinely harrowing tale as eventually, it transpires that her friend’s boyfriend raped her but due to a bone marrow transplant from leukaemia, his DNA didn’t initially match blood left at the scene.

It’s an uncomfortable story, constantly calling into question what happened and the officer who interviews her all but forces her to retract her statement at first. My only criticism is that it’s almost identical to the Netflix drama, Unbelievable, down to the fact that Abz is in care and even the details of the rape itself. But it’s still very well done.

Karen’s devotion to Abz is brilliant and the addition of Zara to the story is fantastic. With her own recent experience still at the forefront of her mind, she very much comes through for Abz and gets things done when she needs to. The only distraction is Zara’s car storyline which is meant to be funny but is just a bit annoying.

Still upset with Zara, Daniel lets Jimmi down by failing supportive over his news that the security guard has backed out of being a witness in the case. Subsequently, Jimmi shuts Daniel out of his support network. Al, Emma and Rob all pull together to try and find a break in Jimmi’s case. When Al treats an old employee, he mentions another ex-employee called SJ who was stashing money behind the till. Al practically stalks her, convinced that she knows something that can save Jimmi. Personally, I am starting to find this story a little bit boring now. I wish they’d just get on with it. When Emma sneaks a peek at the computer of the officer in charge of Jimmi’s case, she gets caught and lands herself in trouble. But a conversation with Zara helps her manipulate her way out of it! Well, she is a pro!

After Daniel and Joe end up being held hostage by a desperate man not allowed to see his son, Daniel and Zara finally confront their feelings for each other and get back together in secret. Well, it’s sort of a secret. They’re all over each other so much that Valerie almost hears them down the phone, they’re almost caught by Emma, prompting Zara to cover by slapping Daniel and Joe walks in on them in bed together!

After their disastrous date at The Icon, Jasmine shows up at The Mill with flowers and a better understanding of the menopause, wanting to make things work.

Sid and Valerie are forced to reach the sad conclusion that not everyone is ready for help when they fail to reach a woman trapped in an abusive relationship. Ruhma treats a very anxious mother who lost one of her twins the last time she gave birth. A vasectomy appointment leads Sid and Ayesha to look after a couple dealing with the aftermath of a terrible assault. There’s also a very strange episode about a woman who thinks she’s being stalked by Joe Pasquale. Yes, really.

Joe Pasquale makes one of the most bizarre cameos ever!

Doctors is on weekdays BBC1 at 1:45pm

Neighbours: Unlocked…

(Monday 9^th – Friday 13^th March 2020)

Well, we’re hurtling towards Neighbours’ birthday week this week with Finn getting darker and darker in his mood towards poor Bea, secretly holding her responsible for the return of his memory and bringing Trent back into his life. Subsequently, he persuades David to arrange a meeting between him and old accomplice, Harry, who reveals the truth about their old storage locker, claiming he wants to eradicate the past.

Finn finally confronts his father about the way he let him down when he needed him most, blaming him for the person he became. Anger turns to violence and Finn assaults Trent, although he stops himself from going as far as he would clearly like to. Trent runs off, warning Finn that he needs help.

While Bea frets to Elly that Finn is being off with her, Finn tells Elly that he is no longer in love with Bea and that he wants to be with her instead. Elly makes it clear that she could never betray her sister like that, although when pressed, she admits it would be different if they didn’t have so many complications in their way and she does have feelings for him. Unfortunately, that leads Finn to start seeing Bea as ‘an obstacle’.

Lucy and Mark G decide to make a go of things but this memory thing gets mentioned again so I’m pretty sure it’s a storyline, not a passing remark. Mark proposes to Lucy and pledges to move to New York to be with her. Paige and Mark B are also officially an item again and opt for the long distance romance, with Paige having to stay with her son and Mark having to stay with his mother.

Out of nowhere, Mark and Paige are back together…

Harlow is horrified to discover that Prue is lying to Gary. In a quandary over whether to tell Gary or not, Harlow turns to Finn for advice but he is useless. Her suspicions are raised when he spills a drink and immediately remembers where to go for cloths to clean up the mess. He makes up excuses but he knows she doesn’t buy it. Gary and Prue’s impending nuptials cause friction between Gary and Kyle.

When Jane cannot let the Richard Catfish situation go, Terese puts her directly in touch with Paul’s PI, prompting Paul to have to tell his friend the truth, although not before Terese reads Richard’s final letter herself and has some serious questions! Paul arranges a meeting between Jane and Mannix and Jane finally regains her dignity and puts Mannix in his place.

Neighbours is on Channel 5, 1:45pm and 5:30pm

(This week it’s also on at 10pm on Channel 5 with extra late night episodes)