Eastenders: I Spy With My Little Eye…

(Monday 3^rd – Friday 5^th February 2020)

Linda’s drinking continues to spiral out of control. This week, she is absolutely vile to Chantelle who panics and runs away. My only criticism really is that she leaves Ollie with Linda. She knows she is drunk and out of control. Despite her own anxiety, she should have protected the little boy. But she did the next best thing and went to find Mick, although this seems to take ages. Because in that time, Linda has passed out drunk upstairs alone with Ollie (who is just so heartbreakingly cute) while cooking his dinner. Not even the horrific sounds of the smoke alarm can wake her up, nor his panicked attempt to shake her. Frightened and distressed by the alarm, Ollie covers his ears and takes himself up on to the roof!

Linda gets the shock of her life when she finally wakes up. Shirley tells her in no uncertain terms what has happened. She throws her in the baths and hoses her down with the shower. Then she tells her about Ollie, letting her believe for just a moment that they hadn’t been able to save him. She is forced to confront her issues and agree to get help. It’s a hideous but powerful scene. Mick takes her to an AA group but she refuses to go in when they spot Stuart there. Shirley drags her to the next one but Linda comes home angrier than ever, taking everything out rather violently on Mick. After a chat with Sharon is genuinely seems like she wants to make things work but by the end of the week and in homage to Den and Angie, she serves him divorce papers.

Unfortunately, Denny is just fine after being pushed over by Bobby, who is overwrought with guilt. He sincerely apologises to Denny who behaves like a six year old… actually, that’s unfair. I have six year old nieces and nephews and they would never behave like that. Anyway, Denny’s nasty response is to pour a whole can of drink all over Bobby in the middle of the café. Sharon is horrified and clearly feels protective of Bobby. She is genuinely really sweet with him and clearly has more of a connection with him than her own child. It’s sad really. Sharon’s son is horrible but she loves him. Bobby wants his Dad to love him but there’s no connection there either. I just hope Sharon and Bobby’s relationship remains mother/son and he doesn’t end up with a weird crush on her or something!

When Iqra overhears Ian, the Councillor making offhand remarks about Muslims, she makes it clear that he isn’t coming over well, especially considering just how many Muslim constituents he has. He decides to celebrate Bobby officially converting to Islam by holding the ceremony in the restaurant and while at first, Bobby is thrilled and feels it means he and Ian are drawing closer, he is soon disappointed to realise that the press will be there and it’s really just a moment for promotion.

While Sharon reaches out to Denny with tickets to a football match (I think… sport of some kind), he uses the moment to fiddle with Bobby’s computer and report to the police about web searches for Islamic Fundamentalism. The police return Bobby’s laptop and he is in the clear but he and Bobby argue and Ian refuses to attend the event but Bobby is thrilled with the turnout for the day, including Kathy, Max, Ruby, Iqra, Habiba and Ash. When Max brings Bobby home to work things out with Ian, another argument ensues and this one is absolutely earth shattering. It’s like Ian has been holding all this pain in for years and he finally throws it out, shouting at Bobby for Lucy’s death. It’s awful. Absolutely awful. Essentially, it doesn’t matter if Bobby is trying to rebuild his life and do good and repair the damage he caused. He killed Lucy. He hurt Jane. He ruined Ian’s life. It’s done. There is no coming back from that. Well, I hope there is. I really do.

Meanwhile, Suki gathers her family around for her birthday, pretending to them all that it will probably be her last. A misunderstanding means that Iqra attends the meal and Suki makes it quite clear that she is not wanted, either as a Muslim or a woman dating her daughter. When the girls have left, she informs her sons that Iqra has to go. She is quietly terrifying.

Karen cannot cope with Bernie’s desperation to find Keanu and confesses that he is still alive but needs to stay away. She spares her the details. Bernie admits that she stole her phone and texted him to say that Phil has left Walford but Karen believes he isn’t stupid enough to come back while Ben is here. Wrong! Clad in a beard that will clearly make him invisible to the naked eye, Keanu returns, begging Sharon to go on the run with him! Well, for starters, she wouldn’t be able to fly right now, mate. What are you going to do? A coach trip?

Denise returns (I hadn’t actually realised she’d been away until I noticed she hadn’t stuck her beak in over Sheree’s return) and immediately sticks her beak in over Sheree’s return. Patrick discovers that Isaac is his son. I mean, I am absolutely on the edge of my seat with this story. Can you tell?

Whitney admits to Kat that Leo has her log book and as things stand, Kush is charged with GBH. Desperate to save her friend, Whitney meets up with Leo who drags her to Tony’s grave. In a particularly hideous scene, Leo hurls all kinds of abuse at her while she is forced to kneel at her abuser’s grave and apologise to him and declare herself a liar. Deciding that that’s not enough, Leo takes Whitney to the Vic where she announces to the whole pub that she lied about Tony abusing her for attention. Leo looks on as nobody believes her and everyone stands up to protect her, including Mick, Sonia and Kat. Leo is forced to leave but as it turns out, he doesn’t go far. While poor Whitney thinks her bedroom is a place of safety, actually Leo is living in the loft above her with a small hole cut into the ceiling for his beady little eye to peer through. Honestly, it’s one of the creepiest scenes in soap. Just thinking about it gives me shivers!

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Doctors: Bring Your Own Bun

(Monday 3^rd – Friday 7^th February 2020)

It’s a very issue led week in Doctors this week with some big stand-alone episodes that are all particularly interesting. We have chronic illness, redemption for prisoners, post-partem psychosis. Different characters take centre stage in each episode such as Ayesha, Al, Daniel Ruhma and Rob.

Ayesha begins her Chronic Illness coffee morning (BYOB), which proves to be a big hit. I’m pretty sure a lot of people with chronic conditions who tune into Doctors wish their own surgeries ran like The Mill, myself included! Anyway, there’s drama galore when Ayesha discovers one of the ‘patients’ in the group is actually a fake. He spends his time at various groups, picking up women who are vulnerable and therefore he feels confident in talking to them. Unfortunately, in Ayesha’s group, a couple of his ‘girlfriends’ come face to face and obviously are not very happy when the truth comes out.

Al takes it upon himself to cure Bear of his fear of blood but ends up making him extremely unwell. He earns himself a telling off from Emma as he utterly traumatises Bear. At the end of the working day, he frightens Bear so much that he faints, knocking Al out in the process. But when Bear comes to and finds Al injured, his Manager/rescuer mode takes over, despite the blood and rushes Al to the hospital. He is extremely grateful and of course Al takes credit for the cure!

There’s a moment of jealousy when Daniel spots Zara (who has become extremely patronising every single time she opens her mouth at the moment – have you noticed?) complimenting Sid. However, he takes her to lunch and tells her that he forgives her for everything, he’s learning to forgive himself and he thinks she needs to forgive herself too. She accepts what he says but finds the whole thing awkward and uncomfortable, as do we.

There’s an interesting episode completely set in the prison, although nothing to do with Jimmi. I suppose there are limited scenes they can film with him just sitting there looking miserable. This time, Daniel spends the evening attending a dinner completely run by the prisoners, as they attempt to open a restaurant within the prison. Daniel dines with the grumpiest, least compassionate pastor ever. She has no faith in the redemption of any of the prisoners and is convinced they will fail. She seems to actually want them to fail. Comments from her actually lead to tensions exploding in the kitchen and the chef burns his hand. Daniel helps to sort things out and the chaplain unexpectedly mends her ways, helping the men out while Daniel fixes the chef’s hand.

Rob is on a stakeout for a drug raid and spots a couple of lads from the talk he did recently. He bumps into one of them who turns out to be completely innocent and oblivious to what is going on. Dragging him into the room he is spying from, he manages to keep him safe while he and his team bring the other lad and the other drug dealers down.

Ruhma is under pressure when one of her new Mums becomes convinced that she was given the wrong baby to take home. It’s not completely impossible as she had the same name as the woman in the bed next to her. However, Ruhma investigates and they didn’t give birth at the same time and one had gone before the other had even gone into labour. However, Ashley is convinced, to the point that she tracks the other woman down at her home and attempts to take her baby. Ruhma and the woman’s husband race to the house to stop her and I have to say, the woman whose baby is nearly stolen must be a saint or something. Ruhma explains that Ashley is suffering from postnatal psychosis and it’s causing delusions. She is perfectly within her rights to call the police but she doesn’t. She is so kind to her and so understanding. It’s a genuinely lovely moment.

Meanwhile, Al is horrified when Zara dismisses a school invitation to a course on protecting children online. Zara and Daniel are certain that their parental controls are enough but Al thinks they are being very ignorant. And typically, that night, while Daniel is right there in the house with him, Joe starts talking to a random ‘girl’ online and invites her to his birthday party. He even gives her his address.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Neighbours: Haunted

Monday 3^rd – Friday 7^th February 2020

Yashvi is worried that Dipi is getting too settled at the Canning house, prompting Shane to beg her to come home. When that doesn’t work, he demands that Gary persuade her to move out. When Sheila and Clive go off to New Zealand, Shane is livid over the idea of Gary and Dipi living alone together. Dipi is livid at the insinuation that she would cheat on her husband. When she breaks down on her friend, Kyle walks in and is a little alarmed at how close his Dad is to Dipi. An argument soon ensues between Gary and Shane as Shane continues to feel jealous of Gary’s closeness to Dipi.

Terese, meanwhile, has to frogmarch Roxy to work and face up to Shane, who has taken over management of The Waterhole in Sheila’s place. Shane is pretty cold with her but they cope.

On her way to her exam, Yashvi’s car breaks down and starts smoking. Zenin has tampered with it. She calls Ned for help. Helping Kyle out at the Buddy Club, David is shocked to find a gun in little Caden’s bag. Kyle is sure it’s just a toy gun and fires it into the air. It’s a real gun. Kyle is an idiot. The police are called and Kyle has to awkwardly explain everything to Toadie, although he plays down exactly how the gun was fired, thankfully into a tree. At first Caden says he found the gun, which has been printed on a 3D printer but it later transpires that he took it from his sister’s car. Ned recognises the name of Caden’s sister, Greta – she was part of the fight club and it doesn’t take long for him to realise that Zenin believes he knows he is part of the 3D gun printing gang that the police are trying to hunt down. That’s why he has been after him. He tells Kyle the whole story. Yashvi wins her place at the police academy. Oh and Caden is played by Kai Baker, the real life son of Rebekah Elmaloglou, who plays Terese Willis.

Eager to study psychology and understand her father, Harlow asks Finn to tutor her. Despite his initial reluctance, he throws himself into the first session but when the conversation turns to his past, he is left with food for thought. Is this the beginning of him turning evil again? He confides in Bea and Susan that he doesn’t think he can continue tutoring Harlow. The session took him to a bad place and made him think about his father and how he may have ended up the way he did.

With Chloe’s blessing, Aaron and David press forward with their plan to have a baby with Lisa, who they have known for approximately thirty seconds. Unfortunately, she then discovers she is already pregnant by her ex. So she ties up all her loose ends with Hendrix and co. and heads home again. Well, that was short and unremarkable.

Worried about how sad his son is, including that for a moment, David regretted being gay because of the difficulty he and Aaron are having with having their own children, Paul decides to put Lassiters in for having a float in the Mardi Gras parade. However, with Chloe in charge of it and her not being his favourite person, he shoots down all her ideas. He eventually accepts Sheila’s idea, which he previously rejected when he thought it was Chloe’s. I literally cannot wait for Neighbours to go full Mardi Gras! This show is the epitome of rainbow. I love it so much!

Hendrix has other things on his mind, however, when he discovers that Harlow gets quite distracted when she sees him topless, even though she continues to find him shallow and intensely annoying, as do we all. He blows it, of course by preening and showing off, meaning that she and newly returned (as if she never left) Mackenzie quickly realises that he knows. (I’d need a whole new blog entry to tell you how happy I am that Mackenzie is back as a full time character). But anyway, Harlow plays him at his own game and comes on way too strong, completely panicking him into confessing that he was just trying to tease her. Harlow wins! She later takes pity on him when she witnesses him having an awkward conversation with Chloe. They’re soon back to bickering though and I remain convinced that they will be dating by the end of the year. If I was a teenager, I would be ‘shipping’ it, if that is still the word the kids use!

Stupid storyline of the week: Kyle and his CPR/sex doll. So, Karl teaches Kyle CPR using a CPR doll called Bianca. Kyle takes the doll away and thanks to some unfortunate timing and Kyle personifying the doll a bit too much, moronic Bea and Finn and later, Toadie, get the wrong end of the stick and think that Kyle is so lonely that he’s using a CPR doll for sexual gratification. So Toadie stumbles into a very awkward conversation with Kyle, who is absolutely mortified and hurriedly hands the doll back to Karl. Hilarious. If that’s your sort of things.

Channel 5, 1:45pm and 5:50pm

Home and Away: Only the Strongest Relationships Survive

Soap Blog Monday 3^rd – Friday 7^th February 2020

Alex and Willow are cuddled up in bed, talking and enjoying the happiness of their first time together when Irene, Colby and Bella come home. Willow panics, which Alex finds amusing and it’s not long before Bella bursts in on them and gets the shock of her life! At Willow’s request, she sends Colby on his way and Irene heads up to bed, allowing Alex to leave undetected. Bella is eager for all the gossip but Willow doesn’t want to talk!

The next day, Bella is full of questions but Willow rather harshly shuts her down. Alex is hurt when she discovers this, worried that Willow is ashamed to be with her (echoing the very same question posed by Joey Collins to Charlie Buckton – RIP – ten years ago). Willow assures her that she isn’t but she is scared of being rejected by Colby and Dean. Alex suggests that she separate Bella from them and answer a confused teenager’s questions – after all, it wasn’t her fault she walked in on them. Willow does the right thing and Bella is completely accepting, not to mention elated to see Willow so happy. She promises to keep the relationship under her hat until Willow and Alex are ready to come out.

Bella pushes Willow to call Alex after their misunderstanding earlier but just as she’s about to, Alex turns up. They sort things out easily and Willow decides she is going to tell Colby and Dean the truth.

Colby attempts to sort things out with Mac but he is quickly shut down, seeing through him – he is only interested in being her boyfriend when it’s convenient. He continues to pine for Mac and wants to make things up to her. When Mac finds out from Alex that Bella hasn’t even been living with Colby and he’s still been ignoring her, she dumps him. By text. He abandons Bella to try and sort things out properly. She isn’t interested. And at this point, I can’t say I blame her. Meanwhile, things aren’t going all that much better for poor Dean, who is sad and lonely without Ziggy who is being worked to the bone.

Alex takes the afternoon off in order to be there for Willow when she tells Colby and Dean about their relationship. Unfortunately, Colby and Dean are too self-centred and caught up with their own problems to even notice that Willow is trying to tell them something. When Colby and Mac break up, Willow ends up having to support Mac while Dean lends a listening ear to Colby. Dean calls Colby out on how unfair he has been to Mac, not even bothering to call her while Bella has been unwell; he had time to communicate with other people. Dean tells Colby that he needs more in his life than to just be Bella’s brother or he’ll end up alone. Colby approaches Bella to make plans about her future but she just wants to be with Colby.

Willow frets to Alex about having missed the chance to come out to Colby and Dean. She does however, tell Irene that she and Alex are together and is met with genuine happiness. Inspired, Willow decides to just go for it. While in a very sweet moment, Irene gives Alex a free dessert and welcomes her to the family (you’ve got to love Irene), Willow meets the boys on the beach but again, they are too caught up with their own girlfriends to even listen to her! When Alex visits the house, Bella and Irene suspect that it could be love. I think they might be right. Willow frets that she has disappointed Alex who is compassionate, revealing that she got drunk and emotional and came out to her family over Christmas dinner!

Colby meets up with Mac and ends their relationship for good as he cannot be a reliable boyfriend, thanks to Bella. Dean consoles a devastated Mac. Well, he knew this was going to happen before their relationship even started!

Ziggy phones Dean, stressed that she is failing on the track. She bonds with her female driver, who married to Ziggy’s boss. She then stays behind while the others go to the pub so she can continue to practice and make her times up. Having had all his calls ignored, Dean comes to see Ziggy who is not pleased to see him! She calms down and asks him to wait for her so they can spend all of five minutes together. He watches her work and she gets a lot of praise from her colleagues. He opts out of lunch with her colleagues and heads home. Ziggy’s new friend advises her that when it comes to racing, only the strongest relationships survive. Concerned, Ziggy asks Ben to go round and check on Dean. Dean tells Ben that he’s certain that Ziggy will get the job and leave him behind. He is clearly upset about it but he won’t hold her back.

Worried about Tori missing out on the beginning of Grace’s life, Jasmine begins a Memory Book of Grace to capture everything she is missing for when she wakes up. Their love bubble bursts when the AFP sends round a lawyer to go through their testimony. As they talk, Robbo gets more and more wound up. When she wants to talk about the murder of his family, he refuses to talk about it in front of Grace and throws the lawyer out. Jasmine tells Irene what happened with Robbo and the lawyer and fears this case is never going to end. Me too, Jasmine. Me too.

Encouraged by Jasmine, Robbo arranges with Lance to make the statement away from the house and away from Grace. The couple are surprised by a visit from Robbo’s parents. They fall in love with Grace but are not impressed by their living conditions. They ask Robbo and Jasmine to move back to the farm with Grace, permanently in order to make a fresh start.

Justin struggles to maintain hope for Tori’s recovery, especially as he doesn’t get to see her that often as the hospital is so far away. Leah pledges her support to Justin. They end up on a double date with Maggie and Ben. Both men, who have been going through such a difficult time are grateful to their partners. Mason joins the party and brings up the subject of Tori but Justin walks out, not wanting to deal with potential decisions they may have to make for her.

The next day, Mason and Leah discuss Tori and Justin. Mason receives a call from Tori’s specialist, forcing him to have a conversation with Justin about making decisions for Tori’s future. The doctors have called for a family conference, as she is not responding to treatment. The boys end up in a row in the middle of the Diner. Justin breaks down on Leah, terrified that the doctors will say there is nothing more they can do for Tori. Mason enlists Robbo’s help to get Justin to the meeting. They need to start making decisions and Justin is Tori’s next of kin. Justin shows up at the last minute and the boys head off to the hospital together at the last minute.

Ryder is coy with Roo over how his ‘relationship’ with Jade is going. Despite how unpleasant she is, he continues to ask her out. Dressed up in a new and rather garish shirt, Ryder takes Jade for a picnic on the beach. Onto a sure thing, Ryder hurries home, presumably to get condoms and in the meantime, Jade bumps into Roo who invites her round for dinner. Jade is hideously rude to her.

Martha and Alf start out happy in their new living situation. He even drinks her healthy smoothies. Yes, really. Alf Stewart. However, he soon gets under her feet and the pair of them quickly start sniping at each other. As Martha takes up art classes and makes friends, Alf begins to feel shut out of the new life she is carving out for herself now she has moved to Summer Bay. Roo encourages Alf to get on with his own thing instead of sitting around and waiting for her. However, when he then becomes unavailable, Martha completely freaks out. Alf understands her mental health battle and pledges his full support. On her day off, Super Doc Alex visits Alf and Martha to help put some things in place to make Martha’s transition to the Bay easier.

(Channel 5, 1:15pm & 6pm (sneak peek, weekdays on 5STAR at 6:30pm)

Neighbours: The Wrong End of the Stick

Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020

Sheila and Terese are shocked and disappointed when Roxy resigns from The Waterhole and both persuade her to at least think about changing her mind. Meanwhile, Harlow decides to throw a party for Australia Day. She has worked out what’s wrong with Roxy, who confesses to the kiss with Shane. For the greater good, Harlow advises Roxy to stay quiet. Still torn up with guilt, Roxy offers Dipi an awkward apology without actually telling her what she is sorry for. Dipi is left feeling awkward when she realises that Shane has told Roxy that she didn’t like them being friends.

When Kyle comforts tearful Roxy, Dipi gets the wrong end of the stick and publically berates Kyle for harassing Roxy. The party quickly breaks up and Dipi has a lot of apologies to make, although Shane tries to keep his wife away from Roxy. She ignores him and goes out of her way to bond with Roxy, feeling she is vulnerable and in need of support.

While Toadie begins to notice that Shane is harbouring a secret, Dipi breaks Roxy with kindness and the vulnerable young woman blurts out that she kissed Shane. Dipi is devastated and lays into both Roxy and Shane for their betrayal, moving into the Canning house in order to get some space from her husband. Yashvi is devastated by the potential breakdown of her parents’ marriage. Paul, Karl and Toadie attempt to support Shane, who snaps at them that it was just a misunderstanding and he is not in their ‘cheaters club’. Fair enough.

Roxy continues her plan to resign and move away from Erinsborough but Sheila is persuaded to take pity on her and encourage her to stay, thanks to Kyle. See! This is the Kyle we know and love, not the waste of space he was at the end of his relationship with Amy! In a somewhat random storyline, Karl teaches him first aid with a doll called Bianca, which he takes home to practice on, only for Bea, Finn and Toadie to get the wrong end of stick, if you know what I mean…

Chloe gives Pierce and Lisa her blessing to go ahead with the baby plan. However, the moment she does, she admits to Elly that she knows she has made a mistake. The couple break the news to Lisa that they have changed their minds. Hendrix is confused by all the mixed messages he is receiving from his parents. Lisa bonds with Aaron and David, who are struggling to live with Elly in the wake of the fall out over baby Aster.

Ned seeks Paul’s help with keeping Zenin under control. Ned then visits Kane, one of the fight club members in jail to get some information and advice. His contact admits to Ned that he feels safer behind bars than he would in Ned’s position out in the big wide world with Zenin after him. The problem is that Ned nor Bea when he attempts to quiz her, remember anything significant about the fight club but he can’t prove it so they’re still in danger. Another problem is that this is one of the most boring stories in the history of Neighbours. Ned keeps the problem from Yashvi who is stressed enough with her police exams and her parents’ marital problems but carefully keeps guard of her without her realising. Anyway, with some theft of some legal papers, he manages to strike a deal with Zenin and thinks it’s all sorted. But of course it’s not. Axle Whitehead’s contract wouldn’t be that short. While Ned takes Yashvi into her police exam, Zenin breaks into Ned’s car…

Neighbours is on Channel 5, 1:45pm and repeated at 5:30pm

Hollyoaks: Homophobia, Literally

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January)

Maxine agrees to keep Liam’s client, Clayton, company in The Loft, making Damon jealous but little does poor Maxine know, she is being set up as sex worker.

Nancy rants to Kyle about Charlie falling asleep in class. They worry that the reason he is spending so much time playing computer games and having a bad attitude is because he is feeling neglected. During a deep clean of the restaurant, Nancy and Kyle reveal to Darren and Mandy that they are expecting a baby. Darren is not pleased.

James has no choice but to return to the house when he sees Romeo and Juliet about to walk in and find Donna Marie on the floor. She is still alive and they hurriedly call an ambulance who bring her back from the brink. She refuses to go to hospital, not wanting test results to reveal that she has OD’d on illegal drugs. But she does take the time to reveal that James left her for dead, destroying his relationship with Juliet all over again. While Juliet is still determined to leave with her mother, Romeo realises that Donna Marie intended to take the money and skip off to London without her. Juliet is heartbroken. Romeo sends his mother away and Juliet moves in with Leela.

Jordan continues to hang around Sid, who is reluctant to get involved in his criminal activity now that he has settled with Leela. However, Jordan is convinced that in Hollyoaks Village and specifically the school is a goldmine. And speaking of Leela, the pair of them look like they are getting very flirtatious! She really can pick ‘em! He is also very interested in Juliet, as a target for pushing drugs. She skips school after her row with James and spends the day with Sid and Jordan in their old neighbourhood. Jordan tells her that if she has somewhere better to go, that’s where she should be. However, it’s quite clear that he and his friend Mason have big plans for her and the rest of the kids in their drug running business.

John Paul cries off his first day as Deputy Head (with Nancy covering for him) so that he can look after drunk and depressed James in the wake of the fallout with Juliet. He sobers him up and gives him some tough love before they inevitably end up in bed together. Also inevitably, afterwards, James dismisses the idea of a relationship as he is still haunted by his guilt over shooting Mercedes.

James and John Paul can’t resist each other…

When Mason shows up at the school, he and Sid fight. Imran stands up for Sid but when Nancy attempts to break up the fight, she gets stabbed in the leg! Mason runs off but the school goes into lockdown and the parents in the ‘Mums of Hollyoaks’ group are contacted urgently to collect their kids. I don’t know why but there’s something very funny about Marnie, Misbah, Leela and Mandy all being in some kind of WhatsApp group together! Good parent Mandy ignores the messages and shuts off her phone to go for a weird night out with Toby and Celeste where she and Darren don’t even realise they’re being made fun of. But then Mandy doesn’t even realise that her partner is hideously depressed and in tears whenever she’s not in the room, so…

Tragedy strikes when Nancy is stabbed at the school…

Anyway, back at the school, we meet new PC Kiss who is in charge of the investigation, interviewing the kids and trying to work out what happened. While Sid tries to persuade Imran not to trust the police, Imran cannot understand why Sid would stand up for someone who has just stabbed a teacher. Jordan is furious with Mason and takes the knife from him. And his trainers. Obvs. Juliet still doesn’t want anything to do with her family. Mandy doesn’t communicate with her kid until the next morning. Nancy gets the all clear but accidentally lets slip to moody Charlie about the baby. The teachers, parents and kids all get together in the café to unite and ensure that they will not be a community divided and confirm that there is no place for knife crime in their school or their village. Sadly, that night, Nancy has a miscarriage.

The Doctors conclude that she may have lost the baby anyway and it may not have been a direct result of the stabbing, although that is no real consolation. Sadly, Nancy and Kyle are unable to draw together over their loss. She completely shuts down and shuts him out, deciding that the baby just wasn’t to be. He turns to Jordan to buy drugs. And it doesn’t help when Nancy allows Darren to comfort her. However, Nancy is gunning for Sid, correctly convinced that he know the person who stabbed her and desperate to protect the kids in the school. The others parents, minus Leela are all on board.

Meanwhile, Darren encourages Tony to get out of the house and into the restaurant and begin to put his life back together. Tony is also the only one who even begins to notice that Darren isn’t himself. However, even he doesn’t realise the extent of Darren’s mental health crisis as, alone, Darren constantly breaks down in tears and even in company, he struggles to hold things together. His own partner is completely oblivious, currently obsessed with impressing new neighbours, Toby and Celeste who are only keeping her on side as they are concerned that in her drugged up state a few weeks prior, she may have seen something she shouldn’t have. They plan a party to step up their boring campaign against Martine. Luke apologises to Tony as on the day of the tunnel collapse, he was convinced he saw him in the back of Breda’s car but dismissed it as a drunken hallucination. He is torn up with guilt as he could have saved him. Tony is forgiving and understanding.

Despite the complication of the stabbing, Jordan is not put off laying down the foundations of making Hollyoaks High his new stomping ground. He continues to put pressure on Sid to make connections for him and together, they connect with Charlie online.

Meanwhile, Scott is crestfallen when Azim is offered a job in London, believing that to be the end of their relationship. However, Azim publically asks Scott (as Anita) to come with him to London to start a new life together. Mitchell, who has been set up on (and ruins) a date with a girl called Abigail, witnesses it all and is crushed. He responds by getting very drunk and in one of the most uncomfortable and upsetting scenes in soap, he hurls homophobic abuse at Azim. He isn’t physically violent but he’s verbally aggressive and makes Azim feel scared and unsafe. It doesn’t matter that Mitchell is gay and scared and unhappy with himself. He is hideous to Azim. It’s horrible to watch. Even thinking about it upsets me.

Channel 4 at 6:30pm or a sneak peek 7pm on E4

These reviews are based on the E4 episodes

Emmerdale: #FreeMarlonDingle

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Billy and Priya arrive at work and quickly discover Graham’s body, barely buried in leaves. The police descend on the site, interviewing Billy and Priya, who mention the argument between Graham and Marlon the day before. Really helpful.

At their house, Risha and Manpreet look after Jai who has woken up battered and bruised in the shed with no memory of the night before. Rishi explains to him that Jai tried to punch him, he was on drugs and Laurel broke up with him. Jai then takes a call from Priya, informing him that Graham has been murdered. Jai begins to panic that he may be responsible for Graham death, recalling the car accident and argument he had with Graham on the day he died. He bumps into Jimmy who has a go at him for his behaviour the day before. What he doesn’t remember is that he attacked him the night before and that’s how he ended up covered in blood. Thankfully, Jimmy is very understanding and doesn’t press charges, especially when Jai decides to go into rehab. Their conversation also reveals that Nicola and Laurel have been secretly friends for weeks! Al is keen to swoop in on the business while Jai is away.

Meanwhile, Marlon supports Rhona who is deeply worried about Graham who hasn’t returned home. She is distraught when the police turns up and break the news that Graham has been murdered.

Rhona learns that Graham has been murdered…

Up at Home Farm, Al continues to take the credit for Graham’s murder in order to take the money from Kim to pay off his debts. The police visit and inform Kim that Graham is dead. She is furious with Al for not hiding the body. Well, he didn’t bother to actually commit the murder so why bother hiding the body, eh? Literally the laziest murderer ever!

When Jamie arrives back, Kim notices the cut on his eye. Andrea has also been acting shifty and unasked, provides her husband with an alibi for the night before, little knowing that he already has one – he spent that night with Belle. Well, we all saw that one coming, didn’t we?! Apart from Ellis, who walks in on a rather awkward conversation between them. Poor Ellis. He has no idea. About anything. At all. Since they recast him, he has lost actual brain cells. And an entire personality. I can’t help but wonder why they bothered.

In the pub, Charity is full of apologies for Vanessa over cancelling the wedding but her fiancée is suspicious over what she got up to with Ryan in all the time she was absent for the rest of the day. She reluctantly admits that she and Ryan stole back the money that Ryan and Graham had stolen from Kim. Vanessa is furious and insists that Charity be honest but Charity adamantly stays quiet. Overhearing their argument, Noah concludes that his mother killed Graham but thankfully, she is able to persuade him otherwise. But an argument between them leads Noah to finally tell the truth about the drugs. Armed with her new knowledge, Charity challenges Sarah about what she has been up to, although Sarah stands up for herself over the fact that she got Danny arrested.

Marlon is questioned by the police about Graham’s death before he is publically arrested for murder. While Chas and Paddy take care of Rhona, the Dingles descend on the police station demanding that they free Marlon! Too right! While Marlon protests his innocence, explaining that he couldn’t find Graham in the woods so he just went home. But between the CCTV evidence of them both entering the woods, fingerprints on the car that hit Graham (from their earlier argument) and the murder weapon, which Pierce has planted in his house, the CPS have enough to charge him with murder! No! #FreeMarlonDingle Even Kim feels bad when she hears about it.

Starting to doubt her ex’s innocence, Rhona takes Paddy’s angry advice and goes to visit Marlon in custody. She questions him about Graham’s death and he angrily denies any involvement. He is convinced he is being set up and that the same person who planted the torch, stole Leo’s passport. He begs her to believe him and to help him find Graham’s real killer who is still out there. Yes, Rhona, you really need to work this one out for your own safety! You are in a lot more danger than you realise!

Pierce continues to make his presence felt in Rhona’s life…

With her new determination that Marlon is in fact innocent, Rhona is determined to prove it and establish exactly what happened on the night Graham died. While people begin to suspect that Kim had some kind of involvement in Graham’s murder (and are sort of correct and incorrect at the same time), Rhona finds a bloodied receipt for antiseptic wipes at home, recalling the morning that Graham had an injured hand (from assaulting Pierce) but wouldn’t tell her what happened. She tracks down Pierce’s address, not knowing who lives there but is caught searching it by a random man who claims not to know Graham and sends her away. When Rhona returns to her worried friends, convinced that Graham’s murder has something to do with Kim, the bloke reports his encounter with Rhona to his housemate – Pierce. Pierce is pleased that Rhona has come to find him. The weirdo sees it as a sign that they are meant to be together. He leaves Rhona some flowers inside her house, freaking her out. But the card on the flowers falls underneath the sofa. I read online that the card will be the new Ashley/Emma tape! How infuriating was that one?! Pierce watches Rhona through the window as she sleeps.

Meanwhile, Kim and Jamie discover that Graham has left his whole estate to Millie. Jamie and Belle are struggling to be around each other after their one night stand. Andrea anxiously confesses that on the night that Graham died, she had been drinking and accidentally ran over Jai’s dog. The dog came out from nowhere, she panicked and buried it and has been bearing the guilt ever since. With Jai in rehab, she confesses to Rishi and Manpreet (who I think looks a little shifty). But Rishi is genuinely kind and understanding about the whole thing. Al takes over the running of the outdoor pursuit centre.

Marlon is left heartbroken when he is denied bail, as is poor April. Ellis and Billy are doing their best to look after her but Mandy and Cain have to step in and help when things get too much. Mandy decides they need a national #FreeMarlonDingle campaign. I agree!

Kind Victoria is concerned when she notices that nobody has seen Wendy for a while and Liam and Manpreet, who look set to fire her, can’t get hold of her. Luke visits and attempts to get her out of the dark hole she is in but it’ll be a long journey as she tries to come to terms with who her other son really was.

Emmerdale is on at 7pm Monday to Friday with a second episode at 8pm on Thursdays

Coronation Street: Measles

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Bertie is rushed into hospital with a temperature and a rash. With Daniel desperately worried and Peter and Beth by his side, Daniel privately admits to the doctors that he didn’t complete Bertie’s jabs. Bertie is diagnosed with measles. Overwrought with guilt over putting his son in danger, Daniel throws everyone out of the hospital. He temporarily lets Bethany in but when they hug for a moment, he feels guilty and throws her out too. She stays the night at the hospital anyway and thankfully, the next day, Bertie is out of danger.

Maria is also unwell, which is clearly also going to turn out to be measles, especially as she is the one who noticed last week that Bertie had a temperature. She sends Gary on his trip away, prompting Ali to come and check on her, hoping that things have gone downhill in the relationship. She sends him packing. However, the next day, Maria is still really poorly and accepts when Ali wants to take her to the Medical Centre. Sadly, it’s there that she discovers she has had a miscarriage. Ali examines her and confirms that she too has measles, which is the cause of the miscarriage. She is devastated and opens up to him about a miscarriage she had twelve years ago. She is heartbroken as she breaks the news to Gary and perplexed as to how she even contracted measles until her mother confirms that neither she nor Kirk ever got their jabs.

Daniel cowardly avoids telling Gary about Bertie when he breaks the news to him about the miscarriage so it’s up to Audrey to break the news and Beth informs them that Daniel didn’t complete the baby’s vaccinations. Of course, Gary responds with violence and punches Daniel, who takes it, feeling extremely guilty about Maria losing the baby. However, Maria is furious with Gary, pointing out that her mother is just as much to blame. The couple do calm down and comfort each other in the end. Grief stricken Daniel allows Bethany to comfort him, hallucinating for a moment that she is Sinead. They share a kiss.

Daniel is a ball of confusion… I mean, look at his beard!

Tyrone proposes that he and Fiz suggest allowing Jade and Hope to see each other, assuming that Social Services will say no. That way, it will be Social Services that will be the ‘bad guys’, not them. Unfortunately, the plan backfires as it just makes Hope obsessed with seeing Jade, provoking more rows at home and as it happens, Social Services are open to Jade seeing her sister under supervision if Fiz and Tyrone are happy with the idea. The couple have even more problems on their hands when Hope floods the school bathroom, although the Head Teacher is more than compassionate. When they speak to Hope about it, she informs them that she wanted to get expelled so that Jade could home school her again. Fiz meets up with Jade who claims to have seen the error of her ways. Social Services agree to assess Jade for access to Hope.

While Charlie, who clearly wants Tim back, settles herself into the Rovers, Tim lies to her about Sally and continues to nag her about signing the divorce papers, something she appears to be delaying. Tim enlists Abi’s help in trying to move her on but it’s clumsy and misfires. Charlie tells Tim that she has scored a flight attendant job and potential new flat but still no closer to getting her to sign the divorce papers. Sally returns home, ready to start again in the belief that nobody knows about the bigamy situation and that it’s been dealt with but gets a shock when she realises that half the Street knows, Tim has passed her off as her sister, Charlie is working the Rovers and has fallen back in love with him. Charlie is devastated to have been led on and there is quite the awkward confrontation in the pub. However, she does eventually sign the papers. But is there any point when Tim’s marriage to Sally is now in tatters all over again? He decides to hand himself into the police as a bigamist, believing it’s the right thing to do as the story hits the papers online.

Geoff is left with no choice but to let Yasmeen spend time with Alya when she comes to the restaurant to see her, however, he cannot resist making snide comments about her not pulling her weight at work. When Alya is concerned, Yasmeen insists that everything is fine. If only Alya could work out the truth! But when Geoff is booked as a magician for Michael’s daughter’s birthday party, he loses his temper with his wife for not being able to concentrate on his ramblings about the show while she is being worked to the bone, cleaning at home. She is already in trouble for having doubted his ability to do a whole show. He can’t stop laying into her about anything he can think of, including her imaginary drink problem. However, he realises he has gone too far when she decides to go to an AA meeting with Peter, knowing that reaching out to other people will mean that he could lose his grip on her. When she returns from the first meeting, feeling reassured that actually, she only has a mild issue with alcohol compared to a lot of the people she met, Geoff is enraged and makes her drink an entire bottle of red wine under desperate protest. It’s a hideous moment as she begs to stop and he forces her to drink. When she is finished, she runs upstairs in distress, just as Peter knocks on the door. It’s a convenient moment for Geoff to inform Peter that the meeting drove Yasmeen to drink and she won’t be attending any more sessions.

Chesney and Gemma return home with the news that the yobs who set fire to the house have been arrested and also that Frescos want them back as part of the ad campaign with the children. They are shocked to learn that Bernie has moved on. When the extremely airbrushed posters are published, Gemma is particularly upset, feeling they have been misrepresented. She drags Chesney to see Imran but the contract they signed is watertight.

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm

Eastenders: Over the Edge

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Leo shows just how vile he can be when he goads Kat, ridiculing her and shaming her. She trashes his stall and knees him in the balls. As for Whitney, she is so stressed that her hair is starting to fall out. Needing to distract themselves from Leo, they decide to go out a party with Kush and Martin, who considering he is at risk of being hunted down by the Mitchells, is extremely jolly. Of course, Leo shows up and harasses Whitney and as soon as they’re out on the balcony, we know someone is going over it. An argument breaks out and Kush steps in and… over Leo goes. Didn’t I say Kush and Kat were too happy?

Martin, Kat and Whitney quickly cover and ensure that everyone knows it was an accident. But Leo, who is miraculously pretty much unharmed, makes it clear that Kush pushed him intentionally (he didn’t) and he is arrested. While Kat defends her man, Kush is devastated to be responsible for injuring Leo, even though it really was an accident. Whitney takes it upon herself to persuade Leo to drop the charges against Kush, even suggesting that they get back together. Sadly, he sees through it and he takes her little book of evidence against him. No chance, Whit. But a good try.

Linda battles her addiction (to the most disgusting looking bottle of wine in the world)…

Mick continues to struggle to manage his own mental health and Linda’s excessive drinking. They have a heart to heart and she admits that she doesn’t want to stop. As much as she hates her behaviour and she is mortified and disgusted with herself for missing Christmas Day with her son and wetting herself in front of her friends, alcohol is the only thing that will blot out the pain she’s in. Despite feeling like they might be getting somewhere with discussing rehab or a support group, Mick gets distracted by the social worker arriving and leaves Linda alone with a bottle of wine. He genuinely has a successful meeting with Ollie and social worker who believes he is providing a happy home for his son. Cue Linda marching in drunk and injured from the other night. Worried that the social worker thinks he has been harming his wife, Mick has no choice but to be honest and admit that Linda is an alcoholic and they need help.

Father, mother and son have one good day together where things almost feel normal until Linda takes a call from Social Services and she discovers Mick’s ‘betrayal’. The next day, she takes Ollie out of school on a fake dentist appointment, gets drunk, scares the kid and disrupts the whole family all over again.

The Panesar Brothers excitedly welcome their mother, Suki to the Square. She is dying of cancer but clearly quite a formidable woman. I think it will take me a while to work her out. She has a brief meeting with Jean, who I wonder if she might become friends with. She also demands to see Ash and they reunite but clearly a lot of hurt has passed between them. It’s also clear, especially after a conversation with Jean who really does have cancer, that she later repeats to her family, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the woman except perhaps compulsive lying, a controlling nature and cruelty.

Sharon is convinced that Phil has taken Denny to Portugal with him but actually, he never showed up and has since been hiding out at the empty house (Kathy has been away). Shirley tracks the kid down and gives him some tough love. You’ve got to love Shirley, haven’t you? However, things go drastically wrong when she finally brings Denny round into the Warring House of Beale where he is absolutely brutal to Sharon, Ian and Kathy. Losing his temper, having tried desperately to bring the family back together, Bobby tells Denny exactly what he things of him. But in one of the most awful moments ever, he shoves him and he hits his head on the coffee table, just as Lucy did. I feel so, so terrible for Bobby (I couldn’t care less about Denny – sorry, not sorry). Bobby has tried so hard to put his life back together and seek redemption for what he did. He didn’t shove him out of cruelty. He shoved him out of frustration. Denny was being hideous. And for the that exact thing to happen was terrible. Terrible. But very good viewing.

In one of those annoying side stories, the Council come calling to find Tiffany living in Ted’s flat and aren’t happy to find him subletting. She therefore pretends to be his wife and gets Patrick to pose as Ted. As if that would even work. Meanwhile, Keegan loses his contract with Gray’s firm on suspicion of theft. He believes it is due to race, compounding his experience with the stop and searches with the police.

Eastenders is on BBC1 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (7:30pm/8:00pm)

Doctors: The Spice of Life

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Without consulting Zara or The Mill, Daniel takes up a job as a GP at the prison in a desperate bid to help Jimmi. He is horrified to find his friend spaced out on spice and desperate for anything else to numb the pain. It’s a heartbreaking scene as Jimmi breaks down and begs for help. With Daniel’s support, Jimmi resolves to get clean but it’s a difficult road of temptation, especially sharing a cell with the vile Bowser. Al is furious when he finds out about Daniel’s new role, purely out of jealous that Daniel is the central figure in helping Jimmi when he is his best friend. I mean, he doesn’t even ask after him! Surely it’s not about who does what as long as someone does something?

Ayesha has a plan for her dissertation that will bring together patients suffering with chronic conditions. Zara rejects it at first, of course but eventually comes round to the idea and all it really makes me think is that I wish my own surgery were even a quarter as good as The Mill!

Sid accuses Bear of not giving the MSU the same commitment that Becky did and invites him to see exactly the kind of work that goes into it. When Bear accidentally walks in on a treatment, he faints at the procedure. Denying that he has a blood phobia, he becomes entangled in a lie about being diabetic. It all tumbles out later with Emma when he faints at the sight of another patient’s blood and he gets a serious telling off for lying about having a very serious medical condition. His week gets worse when he and a girl in a café accidentally pick up each other’s phones, leading her and her boyfriend to refuse to give his back. When he tries to force their hand, he nearly gets arrested. He ends up supporting the girl who is in an abusive relationship. But I still don’t buy it. There is something dodgy about this guy…

Karen is shocked to find herself supporting a woman who has escaped a terrible marriage and now, feels she is improving her mental health by posting nude pictures online for likes and cash. In a similar story, we meet a mildly famous social media ‘influencer’ who has so much pressure on him to be perfect online that he cannot sleep and is horribly depressed.

Al is disappointed by a surprise University reunion. Sid uncovers a rare condition after a patient hits his head and develops a new skill of playing the piano. But his horrible partner demands that he supress his new skill and not live his dream. Zara backs out of learning BSL but an embarrassing translation moment for Ruhma leads to her being asked out on a date!

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm