Neighbours: The Wrong End of the Stick

Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020

Sheila and Terese are shocked and disappointed when Roxy resigns from The Waterhole and both persuade her to at least think about changing her mind. Meanwhile, Harlow decides to throw a party for Australia Day. She has worked out what’s wrong with Roxy, who confesses to the kiss with Shane. For the greater good, Harlow advises Roxy to stay quiet. Still torn up with guilt, Roxy offers Dipi an awkward apology without actually telling her what she is sorry for. Dipi is left feeling awkward when she realises that Shane has told Roxy that she didn’t like them being friends.

When Kyle comforts tearful Roxy, Dipi gets the wrong end of the stick and publically berates Kyle for harassing Roxy. The party quickly breaks up and Dipi has a lot of apologies to make, although Shane tries to keep his wife away from Roxy. She ignores him and goes out of her way to bond with Roxy, feeling she is vulnerable and in need of support.

While Toadie begins to notice that Shane is harbouring a secret, Dipi breaks Roxy with kindness and the vulnerable young woman blurts out that she kissed Shane. Dipi is devastated and lays into both Roxy and Shane for their betrayal, moving into the Canning house in order to get some space from her husband. Yashvi is devastated by the potential breakdown of her parents’ marriage. Paul, Karl and Toadie attempt to support Shane, who snaps at them that it was just a misunderstanding and he is not in their ‘cheaters club’. Fair enough.

Roxy continues her plan to resign and move away from Erinsborough but Sheila is persuaded to take pity on her and encourage her to stay, thanks to Kyle. See! This is the Kyle we know and love, not the waste of space he was at the end of his relationship with Amy! In a somewhat random storyline, Karl teaches him first aid with a doll called Bianca, which he takes home to practice on, only for Bea, Finn and Toadie to get the wrong end of stick, if you know what I mean…

Chloe gives Pierce and Lisa her blessing to go ahead with the baby plan. However, the moment she does, she admits to Elly that she knows she has made a mistake. The couple break the news to Lisa that they have changed their minds. Hendrix is confused by all the mixed messages he is receiving from his parents. Lisa bonds with Aaron and David, who are struggling to live with Elly in the wake of the fall out over baby Aster.

Ned seeks Paul’s help with keeping Zenin under control. Ned then visits Kane, one of the fight club members in jail to get some information and advice. His contact admits to Ned that he feels safer behind bars than he would in Ned’s position out in the big wide world with Zenin after him. The problem is that Ned nor Bea when he attempts to quiz her, remember anything significant about the fight club but he can’t prove it so they’re still in danger. Another problem is that this is one of the most boring stories in the history of Neighbours. Ned keeps the problem from Yashvi who is stressed enough with her police exams and her parents’ marital problems but carefully keeps guard of her without her realising. Anyway, with some theft of some legal papers, he manages to strike a deal with Zenin and thinks it’s all sorted. But of course it’s not. Axle Whitehead’s contract wouldn’t be that short. While Ned takes Yashvi into her police exam, Zenin breaks into Ned’s car…

Neighbours is on Channel 5, 1:45pm and repeated at 5:30pm

Hollyoaks: Homophobia, Literally

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January)

Maxine agrees to keep Liam’s client, Clayton, company in The Loft, making Damon jealous but little does poor Maxine know, she is being set up as sex worker.

Nancy rants to Kyle about Charlie falling asleep in class. They worry that the reason he is spending so much time playing computer games and having a bad attitude is because he is feeling neglected. During a deep clean of the restaurant, Nancy and Kyle reveal to Darren and Mandy that they are expecting a baby. Darren is not pleased.

James has no choice but to return to the house when he sees Romeo and Juliet about to walk in and find Donna Marie on the floor. She is still alive and they hurriedly call an ambulance who bring her back from the brink. She refuses to go to hospital, not wanting test results to reveal that she has OD’d on illegal drugs. But she does take the time to reveal that James left her for dead, destroying his relationship with Juliet all over again. While Juliet is still determined to leave with her mother, Romeo realises that Donna Marie intended to take the money and skip off to London without her. Juliet is heartbroken. Romeo sends his mother away and Juliet moves in with Leela.

Jordan continues to hang around Sid, who is reluctant to get involved in his criminal activity now that he has settled with Leela. However, Jordan is convinced that in Hollyoaks Village and specifically the school is a goldmine. And speaking of Leela, the pair of them look like they are getting very flirtatious! She really can pick ‘em! He is also very interested in Juliet, as a target for pushing drugs. She skips school after her row with James and spends the day with Sid and Jordan in their old neighbourhood. Jordan tells her that if she has somewhere better to go, that’s where she should be. However, it’s quite clear that he and his friend Mason have big plans for her and the rest of the kids in their drug running business.

John Paul cries off his first day as Deputy Head (with Nancy covering for him) so that he can look after drunk and depressed James in the wake of the fallout with Juliet. He sobers him up and gives him some tough love before they inevitably end up in bed together. Also inevitably, afterwards, James dismisses the idea of a relationship as he is still haunted by his guilt over shooting Mercedes.

James and John Paul can’t resist each other…

When Mason shows up at the school, he and Sid fight. Imran stands up for Sid but when Nancy attempts to break up the fight, she gets stabbed in the leg! Mason runs off but the school goes into lockdown and the parents in the ‘Mums of Hollyoaks’ group are contacted urgently to collect their kids. I don’t know why but there’s something very funny about Marnie, Misbah, Leela and Mandy all being in some kind of WhatsApp group together! Good parent Mandy ignores the messages and shuts off her phone to go for a weird night out with Toby and Celeste where she and Darren don’t even realise they’re being made fun of. But then Mandy doesn’t even realise that her partner is hideously depressed and in tears whenever she’s not in the room, so…

Tragedy strikes when Nancy is stabbed at the school…

Anyway, back at the school, we meet new PC Kiss who is in charge of the investigation, interviewing the kids and trying to work out what happened. While Sid tries to persuade Imran not to trust the police, Imran cannot understand why Sid would stand up for someone who has just stabbed a teacher. Jordan is furious with Mason and takes the knife from him. And his trainers. Obvs. Juliet still doesn’t want anything to do with her family. Mandy doesn’t communicate with her kid until the next morning. Nancy gets the all clear but accidentally lets slip to moody Charlie about the baby. The teachers, parents and kids all get together in the café to unite and ensure that they will not be a community divided and confirm that there is no place for knife crime in their school or their village. Sadly, that night, Nancy has a miscarriage.

The Doctors conclude that she may have lost the baby anyway and it may not have been a direct result of the stabbing, although that is no real consolation. Sadly, Nancy and Kyle are unable to draw together over their loss. She completely shuts down and shuts him out, deciding that the baby just wasn’t to be. He turns to Jordan to buy drugs. And it doesn’t help when Nancy allows Darren to comfort her. However, Nancy is gunning for Sid, correctly convinced that he know the person who stabbed her and desperate to protect the kids in the school. The others parents, minus Leela are all on board.

Meanwhile, Darren encourages Tony to get out of the house and into the restaurant and begin to put his life back together. Tony is also the only one who even begins to notice that Darren isn’t himself. However, even he doesn’t realise the extent of Darren’s mental health crisis as, alone, Darren constantly breaks down in tears and even in company, he struggles to hold things together. His own partner is completely oblivious, currently obsessed with impressing new neighbours, Toby and Celeste who are only keeping her on side as they are concerned that in her drugged up state a few weeks prior, she may have seen something she shouldn’t have. They plan a party to step up their boring campaign against Martine. Luke apologises to Tony as on the day of the tunnel collapse, he was convinced he saw him in the back of Breda’s car but dismissed it as a drunken hallucination. He is torn up with guilt as he could have saved him. Tony is forgiving and understanding.

Despite the complication of the stabbing, Jordan is not put off laying down the foundations of making Hollyoaks High his new stomping ground. He continues to put pressure on Sid to make connections for him and together, they connect with Charlie online.

Meanwhile, Scott is crestfallen when Azim is offered a job in London, believing that to be the end of their relationship. However, Azim publically asks Scott (as Anita) to come with him to London to start a new life together. Mitchell, who has been set up on (and ruins) a date with a girl called Abigail, witnesses it all and is crushed. He responds by getting very drunk and in one of the most uncomfortable and upsetting scenes in soap, he hurls homophobic abuse at Azim. He isn’t physically violent but he’s verbally aggressive and makes Azim feel scared and unsafe. It doesn’t matter that Mitchell is gay and scared and unhappy with himself. He is hideous to Azim. It’s horrible to watch. Even thinking about it upsets me.

Channel 4 at 6:30pm or a sneak peek 7pm on E4

These reviews are based on the E4 episodes

Emmerdale: #FreeMarlonDingle

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Billy and Priya arrive at work and quickly discover Graham’s body, barely buried in leaves. The police descend on the site, interviewing Billy and Priya, who mention the argument between Graham and Marlon the day before. Really helpful.

At their house, Risha and Manpreet look after Jai who has woken up battered and bruised in the shed with no memory of the night before. Rishi explains to him that Jai tried to punch him, he was on drugs and Laurel broke up with him. Jai then takes a call from Priya, informing him that Graham has been murdered. Jai begins to panic that he may be responsible for Graham death, recalling the car accident and argument he had with Graham on the day he died. He bumps into Jimmy who has a go at him for his behaviour the day before. What he doesn’t remember is that he attacked him the night before and that’s how he ended up covered in blood. Thankfully, Jimmy is very understanding and doesn’t press charges, especially when Jai decides to go into rehab. Their conversation also reveals that Nicola and Laurel have been secretly friends for weeks! Al is keen to swoop in on the business while Jai is away.

Meanwhile, Marlon supports Rhona who is deeply worried about Graham who hasn’t returned home. She is distraught when the police turns up and break the news that Graham has been murdered.

Rhona learns that Graham has been murdered…

Up at Home Farm, Al continues to take the credit for Graham’s murder in order to take the money from Kim to pay off his debts. The police visit and inform Kim that Graham is dead. She is furious with Al for not hiding the body. Well, he didn’t bother to actually commit the murder so why bother hiding the body, eh? Literally the laziest murderer ever!

When Jamie arrives back, Kim notices the cut on his eye. Andrea has also been acting shifty and unasked, provides her husband with an alibi for the night before, little knowing that he already has one – he spent that night with Belle. Well, we all saw that one coming, didn’t we?! Apart from Ellis, who walks in on a rather awkward conversation between them. Poor Ellis. He has no idea. About anything. At all. Since they recast him, he has lost actual brain cells. And an entire personality. I can’t help but wonder why they bothered.

In the pub, Charity is full of apologies for Vanessa over cancelling the wedding but her fiancée is suspicious over what she got up to with Ryan in all the time she was absent for the rest of the day. She reluctantly admits that she and Ryan stole back the money that Ryan and Graham had stolen from Kim. Vanessa is furious and insists that Charity be honest but Charity adamantly stays quiet. Overhearing their argument, Noah concludes that his mother killed Graham but thankfully, she is able to persuade him otherwise. But an argument between them leads Noah to finally tell the truth about the drugs. Armed with her new knowledge, Charity challenges Sarah about what she has been up to, although Sarah stands up for herself over the fact that she got Danny arrested.

Marlon is questioned by the police about Graham’s death before he is publically arrested for murder. While Chas and Paddy take care of Rhona, the Dingles descend on the police station demanding that they free Marlon! Too right! While Marlon protests his innocence, explaining that he couldn’t find Graham in the woods so he just went home. But between the CCTV evidence of them both entering the woods, fingerprints on the car that hit Graham (from their earlier argument) and the murder weapon, which Pierce has planted in his house, the CPS have enough to charge him with murder! No! #FreeMarlonDingle Even Kim feels bad when she hears about it.

Starting to doubt her ex’s innocence, Rhona takes Paddy’s angry advice and goes to visit Marlon in custody. She questions him about Graham’s death and he angrily denies any involvement. He is convinced he is being set up and that the same person who planted the torch, stole Leo’s passport. He begs her to believe him and to help him find Graham’s real killer who is still out there. Yes, Rhona, you really need to work this one out for your own safety! You are in a lot more danger than you realise!

Pierce continues to make his presence felt in Rhona’s life…

With her new determination that Marlon is in fact innocent, Rhona is determined to prove it and establish exactly what happened on the night Graham died. While people begin to suspect that Kim had some kind of involvement in Graham’s murder (and are sort of correct and incorrect at the same time), Rhona finds a bloodied receipt for antiseptic wipes at home, recalling the morning that Graham had an injured hand (from assaulting Pierce) but wouldn’t tell her what happened. She tracks down Pierce’s address, not knowing who lives there but is caught searching it by a random man who claims not to know Graham and sends her away. When Rhona returns to her worried friends, convinced that Graham’s murder has something to do with Kim, the bloke reports his encounter with Rhona to his housemate – Pierce. Pierce is pleased that Rhona has come to find him. The weirdo sees it as a sign that they are meant to be together. He leaves Rhona some flowers inside her house, freaking her out. But the card on the flowers falls underneath the sofa. I read online that the card will be the new Ashley/Emma tape! How infuriating was that one?! Pierce watches Rhona through the window as she sleeps.

Meanwhile, Kim and Jamie discover that Graham has left his whole estate to Millie. Jamie and Belle are struggling to be around each other after their one night stand. Andrea anxiously confesses that on the night that Graham died, she had been drinking and accidentally ran over Jai’s dog. The dog came out from nowhere, she panicked and buried it and has been bearing the guilt ever since. With Jai in rehab, she confesses to Rishi and Manpreet (who I think looks a little shifty). But Rishi is genuinely kind and understanding about the whole thing. Al takes over the running of the outdoor pursuit centre.

Marlon is left heartbroken when he is denied bail, as is poor April. Ellis and Billy are doing their best to look after her but Mandy and Cain have to step in and help when things get too much. Mandy decides they need a national #FreeMarlonDingle campaign. I agree!

Kind Victoria is concerned when she notices that nobody has seen Wendy for a while and Liam and Manpreet, who look set to fire her, can’t get hold of her. Luke visits and attempts to get her out of the dark hole she is in but it’ll be a long journey as she tries to come to terms with who her other son really was.

Emmerdale is on at 7pm Monday to Friday with a second episode at 8pm on Thursdays

Coronation Street: Measles

(Monday 27^th – Friday 31^st January 2020)

Bertie is rushed into hospital with a temperature and a rash. With Daniel desperately worried and Peter and Beth by his side, Daniel privately admits to the doctors that he didn’t complete Bertie’s jabs. Bertie is diagnosed with measles. Overwrought with guilt over putting his son in danger, Daniel throws everyone out of the hospital. He temporarily lets Bethany in but when they hug for a moment, he feels guilty and throws her out too. She stays the night at the hospital anyway and thankfully, the next day, Bertie is out of danger.

Maria is also unwell, which is clearly also going to turn out to be measles, especially as she is the one who noticed last week that Bertie had a temperature. She sends Gary on his trip away, prompting Ali to come and check on her, hoping that things have gone downhill in the relationship. She sends him packing. However, the next day, Maria is still really poorly and accepts when Ali wants to take her to the Medical Centre. Sadly, it’s there that she discovers she has had a miscarriage. Ali examines her and confirms that she too has measles, which is the cause of the miscarriage. She is devastated and opens up to him about a miscarriage she had twelve years ago. She is heartbroken as she breaks the news to Gary and perplexed as to how she even contracted measles until her mother confirms that neither she nor Kirk ever got their jabs.

Daniel cowardly avoids telling Gary about Bertie when he breaks the news to him about the miscarriage so it’s up to Audrey to break the news and Beth informs them that Daniel didn’t complete the baby’s vaccinations. Of course, Gary responds with violence and punches Daniel, who takes it, feeling extremely guilty about Maria losing the baby. However, Maria is furious with Gary, pointing out that her mother is just as much to blame. The couple do calm down and comfort each other in the end. Grief stricken Daniel allows Bethany to comfort him, hallucinating for a moment that she is Sinead. They share a kiss.

Daniel is a ball of confusion… I mean, look at his beard!

Tyrone proposes that he and Fiz suggest allowing Jade and Hope to see each other, assuming that Social Services will say no. That way, it will be Social Services that will be the ‘bad guys’, not them. Unfortunately, the plan backfires as it just makes Hope obsessed with seeing Jade, provoking more rows at home and as it happens, Social Services are open to Jade seeing her sister under supervision if Fiz and Tyrone are happy with the idea. The couple have even more problems on their hands when Hope floods the school bathroom, although the Head Teacher is more than compassionate. When they speak to Hope about it, she informs them that she wanted to get expelled so that Jade could home school her again. Fiz meets up with Jade who claims to have seen the error of her ways. Social Services agree to assess Jade for access to Hope.

While Charlie, who clearly wants Tim back, settles herself into the Rovers, Tim lies to her about Sally and continues to nag her about signing the divorce papers, something she appears to be delaying. Tim enlists Abi’s help in trying to move her on but it’s clumsy and misfires. Charlie tells Tim that she has scored a flight attendant job and potential new flat but still no closer to getting her to sign the divorce papers. Sally returns home, ready to start again in the belief that nobody knows about the bigamy situation and that it’s been dealt with but gets a shock when she realises that half the Street knows, Tim has passed her off as her sister, Charlie is working the Rovers and has fallen back in love with him. Charlie is devastated to have been led on and there is quite the awkward confrontation in the pub. However, she does eventually sign the papers. But is there any point when Tim’s marriage to Sally is now in tatters all over again? He decides to hand himself into the police as a bigamist, believing it’s the right thing to do as the story hits the papers online.

Geoff is left with no choice but to let Yasmeen spend time with Alya when she comes to the restaurant to see her, however, he cannot resist making snide comments about her not pulling her weight at work. When Alya is concerned, Yasmeen insists that everything is fine. If only Alya could work out the truth! But when Geoff is booked as a magician for Michael’s daughter’s birthday party, he loses his temper with his wife for not being able to concentrate on his ramblings about the show while she is being worked to the bone, cleaning at home. She is already in trouble for having doubted his ability to do a whole show. He can’t stop laying into her about anything he can think of, including her imaginary drink problem. However, he realises he has gone too far when she decides to go to an AA meeting with Peter, knowing that reaching out to other people will mean that he could lose his grip on her. When she returns from the first meeting, feeling reassured that actually, she only has a mild issue with alcohol compared to a lot of the people she met, Geoff is enraged and makes her drink an entire bottle of red wine under desperate protest. It’s a hideous moment as she begs to stop and he forces her to drink. When she is finished, she runs upstairs in distress, just as Peter knocks on the door. It’s a convenient moment for Geoff to inform Peter that the meeting drove Yasmeen to drink and she won’t be attending any more sessions.

Chesney and Gemma return home with the news that the yobs who set fire to the house have been arrested and also that Frescos want them back as part of the ad campaign with the children. They are shocked to learn that Bernie has moved on. When the extremely airbrushed posters are published, Gemma is particularly upset, feeling they have been misrepresented. She drags Chesney to see Imran but the contract they signed is watertight.

Coronation Street airs on ITV on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:30/8:30pm