Doctors: Acts of Kindness

(Monday 13th – Friday 17th 2020)

We appear to be landed with one of those stupid Valerie storylines.  Don’t get me wrong, I love quirky Valerie.  She is absolutely one of my favourite characters.  But sometimes I feel like they go a bit too daft with her.  Case in point, she is currently obsessed with this DNA testing where she has poor Sid going through every single test result, she is deeply concerned about conditions she might carry genes for and is convinced she is now Jewish.  She also fails to recognise that it’s a load of rubbish as the results show that she has the body of an athlete and is unlikely to get cancer.  And of course one of the strongest Valerie storylines ever and indeed Doctors storylines ever was Valerie’s cancer.

Rob assists with giving guidance on the perils of crime to an Intervention group but recognises some of the boys as being behind some bike thefts.  However, the group leader persuades him not to follow it up, as the boys have had extremely difficult lives and are not desperate to turn their lives around.  Speaking of crime, Zara and Emma receive the news that Gareth is pleading not guilty and his case is going to trial.

During evening surgery, Karen and Bear are at loggerheads as Bear fails to respect the depth of the work Karen is required to do as a receptionist.  When a frightened fifteen year old Muslim girl comes into the surgery, desperate for help, not only from Emma as a Doctor but also from Karen as a Mum and just as a kind woman who will listen and help her work through things, Bear demands to know what she is doing and why she is away from the desk.  He also gets mistaken for a junior receptionist while he is holding the forte!  At the end of the night, the young woman manages to sort things out with her family and commends Karen to Bear.  Karen, who is beside herself about Jimmi finally gets a visiting order to go and see him.

Behind bars and against Emma’s advice, Jimmi finds himself providing more and more medical support for his fellow inmates.  He provides one man with a new mental health diagnosis that could potentially change his life and begs a prison officer to get urgent care for another inmate whose life could be in danger.  Instead, the officer assaults him… not quite what Jimmi had in mind.

Emma has her own battle on her hands when a man rushes into the Campus Surgery in desperate need of mental health support.  Instead, he receives suspicion and fear based on race from other patients.

Doctors is on BBC1, weekdays at 1:45pm

Emmerdale: Who Kills Graham?

(This blog includes spoilers for the following week).

The Suspects:

Charity Dingle: She has been gunning for Graham for a while, blaming him for not helping sooner with Noah when he took illegal drugs and on the day of the murder, Graham is set to hold Ryan hostage and scupper Charity’s plans to marry Vanessa.  And let’s face it, Charity is not one to hold back on a vendetta.  But Vanessa would absolutely not forgive her so fingers crossed that Charity controls herself.

Kim Tate and Al Chapman: Not only has Graham been robbing her bank account, he has been manipulating her lingering feelings for her.  She might well be ready to take revenge on him either personally or by getting that moron, Al to do it for her.  She is a high profile suspect and has form (RIP Frank Tate) but then, is it just too obvious?

Jai Sharma: He’s fallen off the wagon and Graham is set to reveal all to Laurel and the rest of Jai’s family, sending his life into a further spiral.  It’s possible.  Once upon a time, Jai was a pretty ruthless guy and not someone who would have been controlled by the likes of Kim, Al and Graham like he is these days.  So it’s possible that he could snap.  Let’s not underestimate him.

Marlon Dingle: No way.  He’s pretty angry that Graham is whisking Rhona and Leo off to France and even attempts to kiss Rhona this week in a moment of utter confusion.  But I think it would be ridiculous to think he would be capable of killing anyone, let alone Graham.

Jamie and Andrea Tate: They both blame Graham for tearing their family apart.  At the beginning of their relationship, Andrea and Graham slept together and it’s only recently that Andrea knows for sure that Jamie is definitely the father of their daughter.  But all of this is a massive revelation to poor Jamie who is devastated.  Their marriage is over, as far as he is concerned.  He is angry with his wife and with Graham and she blames Graham entirely.  And they are both angry with Kim.  Who knows where this could lead?  (Although I think Jamie is a little too gentle to kill anyone.  I’m surprised he can carry out euthanasia at the vets!)

Or could it be a wildcard?  Soaps love a wildcard, including Emmerdale.  I’ll never forget my closeted teenage self being utterly delighted when I rightfully guessed that Charity was actually having a secret affair with Zoe Tate – who was not on the list of suspects!  I just had a feeling…  So could it be Rhona Goskirk who does Graham in?  Perhaps she finds out the dark depths of her partner and loses it during a showdown?  Could the suddenly frequently mentioned Joe Tate return for one final confrontation with the man who wrecked his life?  Could it be Cain Dingle?  They’re not exactly friends after what happened with Joe.  Or could Rhona’s ex-husband Pierce Harris who was recently released from prison be planning to keep Rhona in the country?  Or, as the rumour mill suspects, has Graham already dealt with him?

I’ve been complaining about the lack of enthusiasm in Emmerdale for a few weeks now but it genuinely looks like it’ll be an exciting week this week.  Every episode focuses on a new suspect and how they affect Graham’s day before Friday reveals the culprit…  Maybe this is the ‘plane crash’ the show needs to revive it!  I for one, am very much looking forward to this week!

Emmerdale: Under Pressure

(Monday 13th – Friday 17th 2020)

In the middle of the Woolpack, Cara attempts to drag Nate away from the Dingles and bring him back home with her, citing all the horrific things she has been told by Moira.  Cara is upset to realise that several things, particularly Belle’s crime, have been completely taken out of context just to hurt the Dingles and get Nate out of the Village.  She gives Moira a dressing down in front of everyone and Cain tells Moira to leave.  Moira confesses all to Matty and decides she needs to change her ways.  She says goodbye to her kids and goes to stay with family for a while to get her head straight in order to move on and start again.

Having been told that now Robert is off the scene, his access to Seb has been cut off, Aaron is in an even darker place.  He ditches Liv to go to a party with some random blokes.  In the morning, the guy he hooked up with tries to steal from him.  Having seen the boys fight, Victoria struggles with flashbacks from the rape and opens up to Liv about Lee, overheard by Wendy.  I think she is starting to suspect that Victoria is telling the truth.  Come on… she must be!  I genuinely think that when she admits it, she and Victoria could have a connection and be part of each other’s lives.  Or am I just being idealistic?  Aaron decides to agree to a divorce and finally let Robert go.

Ryan catches Graham out in his thievery but ends up being forced to help him instead.  Graham is acting shadier and shadier, presumably in the lead up to this big murder storyline that Emmerdale is hoping will save their show.  That night, Graham cleans up his bloodied hand, which he tries and fails to hide from concerned Rhona in the morning.  Marlon overhears them arguing and becomes even more concerned about Graham being involved in his son’s life.

Meanwhile, Jai is under more and more pressure to impress and meet impossible deadlines.  A business meeting goes badly and Al scapegoats him yet again.  Jai turns down Laurel’s offer of helping him pull an all-nighter at work.  Instead he orders a pizza with a side of cocaine to help him work through the night.  Oh dear.  As if he doesn’t have enough problems!  But the next morning, having not touched the coke, Jai has a fresh new perspective on life.  Things unravel rather quickly though when Brenda pulls out of the catering and Al interrupts the presentation, having learnt that Ellis is about to demonstrate the zip wire.  Having previously posed a Jai, Al signed off the installation, knowing it wasn’t complete or safe to use.  He blames Jai, claiming that he signed the paperwork (and with his signature on it, he can prove it), losing Jai all credibility.  Jai opts to get drunks, fights with Graham and lands himself back on drugs.  He hides it from Laurel despite her giving his every opportunity to tell her the truth.  Kim begins to suspect that Al isn’t as credible or as cashed up as he claims when she learns how underhand he has been with Jai.

Graham then has to do everything he can to keep Kim away from the business account as he prepares to run off with her money.  Vanessa and Charity have to referee a huge row between Rhona and Marlon when Rhona accuses her ex of stealing Leo’s passport, desperately paranoid that her secret plans to move away will be scuppered.  Well, they will.  If she’d only pick up a TV magazine, she’d know that!  Undeterred, Rhona attempts to get a new passport as quickly as possible.  Vanessa is desperately hurt to discover her best friend’s plans.

Ellis adopts a rabbit for Belle with Jamie’s help.  It’s a lovely gesture apart from the fact that Belle clearly fancies Jamie and she has a really weird reaction.  She has a go at Jamie for interfering in her love life and it seems to come from nowhere apart from a small flirtation at Christmas.  So either Emmerdale missed a scene.  Or we’re supposed to be confused and not know that they got up to something they shouldn’t…  But I just feel that that would be hypocritical considering his reaction to Andrea’s affair.  But he’s currently single and Ellis is kind of annoying so if Belle ditched him then…

As for Jamie, he wants to move himself and Millie out of Home Farm but Millie doesn’t want to go.  Kim steps in and demands that Andrea be the one to leave.  She takes it one step further and offers her money to get out of their lives for good.  Jamie is furious when she takes the money but Andrea announces that she using it for legal fees to ensure that she gets to keep her daughter.  Jamie is livid with his mother for falling into such an easy trap, throwing money at the problem like she usually does.

Emmerdale is on at 7pm Monday to Friday with a second episode at 8pm on Thursdays

Hollyoaks: A Unique Fight for Custody

(Monday 13th to Friday 17th January 2020)

In the salon, Warren tells Sienna that Sebastian has leukaemia and urgently needs her to get tested to see if she is a bone marrow match in order to save his life.  He explains that Sebastian is in a private hospital and promises to let Brody go if Sienna will go through with the transplant.  Sienna agrees to go through with it but she is horrified to realise when Warren accidentally refers to ‘Sean and Ursula’ instead of Sophie and Sebastian that she was right last year and abducted the twins – they were her babies after all.

Sienna gets tested and she happily reports that she is a match.  She returns home and tells horrified Liberty and Damon everything, believing incorrectly that Warren has changed his ways.  Of course he hasn’t.  Actually, they are at the local hospital and Joel is on board with his Dad who begs his forgiveness and has promised him that he has changed too.  But really, his plans are to take Sienna’s bone marrow and leave her bereft of her children yet again.

Unfortunately, Sienna hits a snag.  Her chemotherapy means that she is excluded from donating bone marrow.  Catching on to his lies, she pretends to go through with the transplant and sends Maxine ahead to find details of Brody’s location.  Damon and Liberty head off to find Brody while Maxine helps her abduct the kids.  Sienna is just about to escape the hospital when she is stopped by Joel.  Well, at least it wasn’t Warren!  She hurriedly explains things to Joel, who is devastated to realise his Dad hasn’t changed at all.  He helps her escape with the kids but it’s too late for her to meet up with recently rescued Brody and has to go it alone with her children if she wants to escape Warren for good.  Desperately worried about Sienna, Brody and Joel have no choice but team up with Warren in order to try and track her down.

At home, Tony is an absolute mess.  He cannot talk about the trauma of being held captive.  Diane is impressed when she listens to Edward being kind to Tony, promising him their never ending support.  However, once she is gone, Edward is really harsh with him, warning him that he needs to be a real man or Diane will find someone else.  He takes things further by locking Tony in the bathroom.  He rescues him just before Diane gets home so she finds him a complete and utter mess.  Come on!  The poor guy has been through enough!  Edward spends the night with Marnie (who has no idea that he was previously seeing Diane or that she’s about the date yet another bad man).

This boring wedding storyline rumbles on.  Seriously, the only time that faffing around preparing for a wedding is interesting is when it’s your own.  Watching Courtney and Jesse fuss over the intimate details of their big date is not good TV.  However, the big day does finally arrive.  As much as I like them as a couple, I am looking forward to it finally being over!

The only highlight is that wedding planner Azim and Scott are now seeing each other.  Not if you’re Mitchell, obvs.  And that one of the random extras appears to Mark Own from the 90s…  Literally, what he looked like in the nineties.  Blink and you’ll miss him.

James returns to the Village and is eager to pick up where he left off with Liam who invites him to be his plus one at Courtney and Jesse’s wedding.  James is devastated to discover that Breda was the serial killer and Mercedes didn’t kill Harry; James therefore shot her for no reason.  He has an emotional encounter with Juliet who has just been extremely rude to Sid in a panic over not wanting to sleep with him again.  They genuinely bond and she sort of hints that she is struggling with her sexuality.  Perhaps James will help her in the future?  She consoles him about Harry.  Then Donna Marie returns!  Oh yay.  She wasn’t annoying at all.  With Breda having been discovered to be the serial killer and responsible for Mac’s death, there are no charges to answer.  This leaves James squirming as he is the reason she was jailed in the first place…

Grace and James feel guilty for shooting Mercedes but while James wants to confess, Grace is determined to keep them both quiet and make the best of the situation.  Of course, right before the wedding ceremony, Jesse overhears them talking about the shooting (because nobody in soap talks about serious crime in code or in private) and confronts his sister.  I mean, you’d think in his family, he wouldn’t be so stunned!  The couple get married, surrounded by their family, friends and bridesmaids in their ugly dresses and it’s all very lovely.  Sally cries.  Maxine is starting to be forgiven and welcome back into society and Jesse has asked her to work the bar for some desperately needed cash.  When he finally confronts Grace properly, Jesse agrees to keep the police out of it but determines that Sylver needs to know the truth.

Channel 4 at 6:30pm or a sneak peek 7pm on E4

These reviews are based on the E4 episodes

Neighbours: Three’s a Crowd

(Monday 13th – Friday 17th January 2020)

Nell has run off to see her mother’s mural, beautifully painted by Ned as a memorial to Sonya.  And it really is a beautiful piece of art.  I really hope as this kid grows up, they keep the actress on.  She is such a little cutie and you can see her budding talent.  Torn up with guilt for being distracted over his grief over losing Amy and not keeping an eye on the kids and aware that Terese has lost faith in him, Kyle offers to step down from the Buddy Club.  Toadie will not hear of it and pushes him forward regardless.  Terese interferes with Kyle’s first lesson, not completely trusting him but actually he really impresses her and bonds with a boy called Seth.  Will this be Kyle’s redemption at long last?

Dipi grows increasingly uncomfortable with the blossoming friendship between Shane and Roxy.  She confides in Sheila over her marriage woes, feeling that she and Shane are no longer close and Roxy is relying more and more heavily on her husband.  Spurred on by Sheila, Dipi arranges to seduce Shane while he is closing up at work but things go wrong when she ends up flashing Gary instead!  Shane has rushed out to rescue sad, drunk Roxy and doesn’t end up getting home until two in the morning.  The couple argue but Shane cannot understand why his closeness with Roxy is such an issue.  The next day, when Dipi sets up camp in the bar to do her books, things become more than a little awkward between Shane, Dipi and Roxy, especially when Sheila puts her foot in it about Dipi flashing Gary the night before!  Whoops!

Three’s a crowd in Dipi and Shane’s marriage…

Shane angrily objects when Dipi demands that he swaps his shifts so that he doesn’t work alongside Roxy anymore.  Then when Sheila changes their shifts anyway, Shane thinks Dipi is responsible.  Dipi turns to Gary for support and he explains that going in hard is only going to make Shane push back.  Sheila then gives Shane a talking to about his marriage, making Shane lose his temper with his wife again, made worse by Roxy calling him in the middle of it!  She has now found out about the shift change and she is not a happy bunny.  But when she tries to change them back, Sheila lays down the law.  Back at home, Shane and Dipi do eventually make up.  She understands that her husband is just being protective of a vulnerable young woman and he promises to start putting his wife first.  As they wave Toadie and the kids off to go and see his cousin, Roxy is upset to have her call rejected by Shane.  Roxy and Harlow make friends again.

Bea, Finn and the Kennedys are all missing Elly now that she has moved in with Aaron, David and Kyle.  She is also struggling to adjust to her new surroundings and feels guilty that the baby is up crying at all hours and disturbing her new housemates.  They invite Bea and Finn round to the house to help settle her in.  But of course, it’s extremely awkward, especially when Elly and Finn go off to tend to the baby together and it’s all charged and weird while poor, oblivious Bea sits in the garden completely unaware that her sister is about to run off with her boyfriend.  In the middle of the night, Susan catches Finn about to sneak out to be with Elly and Aster.  Bad move, Finn.  Bad move.  Susan goes round instead and it’s clear that both of them are in her bad books.  Elly promises that she would never act on her feelings for Finn.  Like she didn’t with Chloe.  Oh, wait…  But there is a very cute moment when the boys look after Aster and do a little photo shoot for her at home.

Meanwhile, Finn and Bea go on a date where, keen to prove his love, he proposes.  Thankfully, she turns him down.  Cue: Elly the Green Eyed Monster, stage left.

Hendrix and Chloe bond when he helps her with a report at work that she thinks she has lost.  Unfortunately, his lust wins out when he steals a naughty photo of her that she took for Pierce’s benefit.  Feeling guilty, he confesses to Karl who advises him to put it back and tell his father.  Chloe catches him returning it and she lays into him for what he has done.  The next day, Hendrix is in big trouble with his Dad.  All he can do is apologise and beg for help to make things right with Chloe.  Taking pity on time, Pierce appeals to Chloe who is livid that he has gone soft on his son.  She then appeals to Hendrix’s mother for support, infuriating Pierce as Lisa declares she is on her way to Erinsborough.

Also, to commend Neighbours, this week, they quickly filmed an extra scene regarding the horrific bush fires that are going on in Australia at the moment.  Sheila, David and Aaron are seen discussing a fundraiser at the Waterhole to raise money for the bush fire relief.  They also discuss their families and others affected by the terrible fires and smoke.  As soon as the cast came back to filming, they threw in this extra scene, feeling that it was really important to talk about it.  They had a lot of praise for doing so.  There was also a link at the end of the episode for donations: https://www.channel5.com/wednesday-15th-january/

Channel 5, 1:45pm and 5:50pm

Home and Away: #Willex

Monday 13th – Friday 17th January 2020

Things remain tense between Robbo and Jasmine as they look after baby Grace.  Robbo continues to shut Jasmine out of Grace’s care, suggesting that she return to work as she’s not needed at home.  He is oblivious to how much he is hurting her, believing that she shouldn’t have to look after Grace as being a full time Mum isn’t what she signed up for. 

Ava is desperate to meet her baby cousin Justin ends up arguing with Robbo over the baby.  Taking matters into his own hands, Mason takes Ava to see Grace himself.  Robbo and Jasmine are pleased to introduce Ava to her cousin.  Unfortunately, the day is ruined when Justin charges in, threatening legal action if Robbo doesn’t let him have access to his niece.  While Leah and Jasmine attempt to calm the boys down, it’s Mason that eventually puts Justin in his place, reminding him that he needs to stop wasting time fighting Robbo over Grace and be there for Ava instead.

Robbo does the rounds introducing Grace to everyone but with his hope beginning to fade for Tori, Justin backs away from his niece.  When Marilyn mentions that Justin snapped at Ziggy and sent her home from the garage, Leah is concerned enough to go and find him.

Alex expresses concern about Bella after the incident the other day.  When Willow speaks to Bella, the teenager assures her that she is fine now that Colby and Mac are over for good.  However, Willow remains concerned, as Colby admits that he and Mac are just on pause until Bella feels more settled.  Bella’s hopes are shattered when she witnesses Colby and Mac meeting up in secret, putting their relationship in jeopardy all over again.

Willow and Alex have resumed their flirtatious relationship.  Later, Mason teases Willow about her ‘date’ with Alex that evening and it does very much seem that way as Willow is all dressed up, waiting nervously and downing shots as she waits for Alex to arrive.  In a moment of panic, Willow invites Jasmine (who also remarks that Willow looks like she’s waiting for a date) to join them.  Jasmine declines and Willow and Alex enjoy a night of flirty banter, exchanging life stories and a lot of tequila.  Willow couldn’t make her attraction to Alex more obvious.  Okay, she could.  She does.  At the end of the night, she kisses Alex, who reluctantly turns her down, not wanting to take advantage of her when she’s been drinking, or wanting to be a morning regret.  Willow is mortified, not least when she realises that Irene has seen everything.

After being turned down by Alex, in front of Irene, Willow crashes in Dean’s caravan, although she doesn’t feel able to tell him what happened.  The next day, Irene, desperately tries to find Willow to talk to her about what she saw.  Willow bumps into Alex and panics, lying to her that she doesn’t remember what happened the previous night.  Irene gives Willow the chance to talk through her feelings for Alex.  Willow then texts Alex to confess that she does remember.  They meet up and talk honestly, deciding to take things slowly and not label their relationship while they explore their feelings for each other.

Ben gets the happy news that all charges against him have been dropped.  He decides he wants to open the board shop and asks Dean to help him.  Unfortunately, this leaves Dean in a very difficult position.  He is already struggling to manage the Surf School alongside his shifts at Salt.  The Surf School doesn’t bring in any money yet but Salt pays the bills.  Adding in the Board Shop only applies more pressure but he doesn’t want to let Ben down.  To solve the problem, Mac fires Dean!  She then gives him a hefty loan for the Surf School which he can pay back over time.  She wants him to live his dream and be able to help Ben.  What a brilliant sister!  Maggie looks after Ben when he has a wobble over his ability to run the business.  Going forward, he decides to go back on the antidepressants in order to make everything be as successful as possible for himself and his family.

John completely misses the point when Marilyn worries about how Raffy is doing and is desperately lonely without any kids to look after at home.  Thankfully, sensitive Ryder realises and offers her the hand of friendship.  He raises the alarm with John who eventually supports his wife and understands how she is feeling.

Channel 5, 1:15pm & 6pm (sneak peek, weekdays on 5STAR at 6:30pm)

(These reviews are based on the Channel 5 episodes)

Soap Blog: Monday 6th January – Sunday 12th January 2020

Coronation Street: Judas Jade

Jade sets the wheels in motion to take Hope away from Fiz.  She goes to Doctor Gaddas with her fake tears, fake photos and fake fears that Fiz is abusing her daughter.  The GP has no choice but to contact Social Services who go straight round to the house and then to the school to speak to Hope who confirms the story that Jade has drilled into her.  She and Ruby are removed from the family home immediately.

The next day, the kids sneak back to see their parents but are caught by Jade who reports it to Social Services who have no choice to take them into formal foster care.  Fiz and Tyrone get a further shock when Jade, who has moved into a proper flat in preparation to take the kids from them, steps forward as John Stape’s daughter and Hope’s sister.  She lies to the Social Worker that she met Fiz in Birmingham and was upfront with her from the start before Fiz invited her to move in with them.  Jade is distraught when she is refused custody of the kids on the grounds that she was a resident of the house when the abuse accusations were made.  She sticks the knife in a little deeper by informing Social Services about the gun, landing her in trouble with the police.  Later, Fiz tracks Jade down and confronts her but thankfully, Tyrone arrives and drags her away before things get too serious.  Tyrone is frustrated when Fiz and Gary lie to the police about the gun, believing that they will just get into more trouble and lose the kids.  Well, yes.  Probably.

Leanne is delighted when she overhears Paula and Tracy arguing over their night of passion.  Cue lots of amusing conversations between Tracy and Leanne and Leanna and Paula, plus lots of sexually charges arguments between Tracy and Paula.  Things eventually come to a head when Steve arranges to spend the afternoon in the hot tub with Tracy only for it to have been double booked by Sally, Paula and Leanne.  Leanne cannot help herself, sharing a hot tub with Steve, Tracy and Paula.  Tracy storms out, followed by Paula and even hapless Steve knows there’s something going on.  Now, I know Steve and Tracy kind of belong together but am I the only one who feels like Coronation Street have accidentally unearthed some chemistry between Tracy and Paula?  I kind of want them to see where this goes!  But for now, Steve challenges Tracy and is absolutely stunned to discover that it’s a woman that she spent the night with.  Tracy attempts to manipulate him and blame him for her infidelity.  But the poor guy is genuinely heartbroken as he loves her and wants to work through their problems.

Geoff continues his manipulation of Yasmeen, spoiling her with clothes but not wanting her to go out and spend time with her friends, even accusing her of fancying Brian.  Meanwhile, Cathy becomes concerned that Yasmeen always cancels on her and never socialises anymore and seems to clean the house to the level of OCD.

Michael and James put their mother forward for a hero award with the local paper when they realise how guilty she feels for not being able to save Robert.  She is uncomfortable with the attention and opens up to Roy about why she gave up nursing.  A patient died after a mistake, even though the mistake wasn’t hers.  She was torn up with guilt and it impacted her work to the point she has to resign. 

The hospital performs a critical procedure on Shona and she is finally able to breathe on her own.  David does everything he can think of to bring her round.  He also gets the news that Josh has been found guilty of two counts of rape (including against him) and been sentenced to fifteen years.  Delayed justice but finally, justice to one of the most emotive, powerful storylines the show has done.  When David hears about Aggie’s award and that she used to be a nurse, Aggie offers him support that he genuinely accepts. Gemma and Chesney take the quads to a posh photoshoot with Frescos but upon discovering that his employee is advertising his rival, Dev sacks Chesney on the spot.  But just as Cathy persuades Dev to change his mind, Bernie messes everything up and the war is back on even worse than before!  Well done, Bernie.  Just as this boring story was almost over…

Doctors: Cold Snap

Al is worried after he goes to visit monosyllabic Jimmi in prison.  Behind bars, Jimmi begins to make himself useful as a Doctor, earning himself some protection from his cellmate.  He helps him with his back pain and advises the prison officer girlfriend of another prisoner about a mole, sending her to see Sid at The Mill.

Worried about Jimmi’s state of mind, his colleagues organise a rota of visits but Daniel is reluctant to let Bear participate.  Bear has just met up with his ex-girlfriend, the one that he clearly isn’t over and so is fuelling all his hatred towards Jimmi.  While Bear recalls Jimmi being unsympathetic and regrets the termination, his ex has a completely different recollection.  She barely even remembers Jimmi and believes the termination was the right thing.  She was able to go onto University and carve out a career for herself, none of which she would have been able to do if she’d gone ahead with the pregnancy.  She has also moved on and met someone.

Meanwhile, Al, Emma and Rob meet up, scratching their heads trying to work out who on earth could have set Jimmi up in the first place.  If it wasn’t the guy who was hanging around The Icon and it wasn’t Gareth who could it be?  Maybe the manager of The Mill?  Well, Bear does go to visit Jimmi, who is surprised to see him.  And for me, it seems like he just wants to see the poor guy behind bars and suffering.  It’s an awkward meeting to say the least and Bear doesn’t disclose their past, which Jimmi has no recollection of.  Jimmi struggles with his OCD when he and the other prisoners are locked in their cells as the officers deal with another prisoner acting out.  A patient of Jimmi’s goes above and beyond to start a campaign to help free him but his conscience gets the better of him when Al uncovers his own criminal past and he hands himself into the police.

Zara pulls rank when Ayesha who is now a fully qualified Nurse Prescriber is signed off to go ahead with prescriptions, forbidding her to be independent yet.  When Zara is busy one day, she sets Al the task of checking the prescriptions, which Al blatantly doesn’t do, trusting Ayesha to perform the job she is qualified to do correctly.  Bear uses Joe’s eye infection and the rules about not prescribing for your own family to trick Zara into realising that nurse prescribers are legitimate and that she should loosen the reins on Ayesha.  I don’t like the guy but he does have his uses.

At the beginning of Wednesday’s episode we see some pretty harrowing scenes where a drunken group from a rowing club, assault a homeless man and urinate on him.  They then attack a homeless young woman, throw her stuff around and urinate on her.  It’s absolutely hideous and very upsetting.  While the man ends up dying of hypothermia, the girl reports her attack to the police.  In a particularly interesting story, it turns out that the girl knew the man Frank (and found him dead, taking £20 from him and running away in a moment of regret).  Emma and Rob track down Frank’s next of kin, who is devastated that she had been living nearby her Dad, who she hadn’t seen for fifteen years and could have helped him if he had only reached out to her.  They locate the arrogant, posh thugs who caused his death and they are arrested.

Eastenders: Broken

Things come to a head when Chantelle and Gray return from their trip.  First, Kat drops Karen in it and tells Gray about the party, which gets Chantelle into trouble.  Then he spots her helping Jags home with some shopping.  When he then demands she take a pregnancy test and isn’t suitably disappointed that it’s negative, they argue and he breaks her arm.  At first, he refuses to take her to hospital but eventually, he has no choice.  Then in an even more gut wrenching scene, Chantelle attempts to make her vile husband feel better by blaming the whole thing on herself.  She tries to persuade herself that really she hadn’t lied to her Mum about how it happened.  Technically, it had happened at the bottom of the stairs.  And it was her fault really because she had moved awkwardly.  She then reels off a list of stupid things she has done over the years, heaping blame on herself for the fact that he has just broken her arm.  Absolutely hideous and utterly heartbreaking.

Struggling to keep control, Chantelle panics when Keegan and co. including Jags all show up at her house the next day and in the end, terrified about getting into trouble with Gray for entertaining, she throws them out.  Of course, this later leads to a falling out with Keegan.  When she advises him not to get involved with Vinny (the other Panesar Brother – I am really getting the hang of new characters’ names now) Keegan loses his temper with his sister, believing that she doesn’t care about her family anymore.

Speaking of Keegan, he does strike up a friendship with Vinny who gets hold of a scooter to help with the sandwich deliveries.  Against her better judgement, Iqra agrees to let Vinny become involved in the business but on their first trip out, Vinny and Keegan are victims of racial profiling stop and search.  It makes them late to bring Gray’s order of sandwiches for a business meeting.  He has already had to order different food and wipes his hands off their business.  The boys cannot agree over how they handled the stop and search, having both been stopped before for no reason.  Vinny was angry but Keegan was compliant, not wanting more trouble than necessary.

Whitney is horrified when Leo takes up a stall on the market in a bid to be close to her.  Thankfully she has all the other market traders, including Martin and Kush on her side.  Well, if Martin is on her side, Leo she probably be worried!  Whitney agrees to a ‘date’ with Leo where she makes it clear that she wants absolutely nothing to do with him.  He doesn’t seem to get the message.

Big Mo decides to take Jean’s grief into her own hands (and earn some cash) by holding a séance for Daniel.  When Kush catches the pair together, Jean decides to play along and while she, Mo and Kat are in the kitchen with a crystal ball, Mo calls on Daniel’s spirit, only for Daniel to walk into the kitchen!  Kat is furious with Daniel, Kush and Jean until it’s revealed that Daniel has been paying the shortfall in their rent.

Karen and Billy have the most mild (not to mention brief) breakup in the history of soap, rivalling the most unremarkable getting together in soap, AKA Jack and Denise.  Karen also snaps at Honey about spoiling Janet’s fun regarding the pageant, prompting her to change her mind and let her take part.  Unfortunately, Honey’s eating disorder overwhelms her during the show and Janet nearly misses out as she remains backstage, worried about her mother throwing up in the toilets.  Billy finds them and Janet is brought on stage where she wins the pageant (much to Lexi’s annoyance but everyone else’s pride).  Billy later confronts Honey.  At first his shock comes out in anger but he is later determined to support and care for his ex-wife. I feel another breakup with Karen coming on.

Emmerdale: Downward Spiral

Matty delivers some home truths to Moira, reminding her that today would be hers and John’s anniversary and that she also cheated on him.  Victoria helps Moira and Matty begin to work things out.  Moira then overhears Pete and Nate bitching about her.  Well, that’s unfortunate.  While Matty moves out of the farm, he is immediately suspicious of his mother when Pete and Nate inform him that someone has dumped herbicide all over their farm.  When they tackle her about it, she isn’t even sorry.

Things go from bad to worse when Moira goes on a drinking binge, nearly getting knocked over by a car and ending up in a ditch.  Thankfully, the driver of the car, who is quite obviously Nate’s mother, Cara, stops and picks Moira up, taking her to the hospital.  She stays with her and tracks Matty down at the pub.  But Moira loses it when she learns that Nate drove Matty to the hospital, which is when Cara reveals that Nate is her son.  Cara is horrified to discover what her son has been up to since his arrival in the village and her dislike of Cain who finally bothers to show up, is clear.  What a bloody mess!  But it does lend to an excellent moment of gossip between Marlon and Charity as they discuss the arrival of Nate’s Mum.  While Cain and Cara finally talk through their past, Moira is quick to tell Cara all the worst bits of the Dingles.

In the wake of the news that the church may close and Harriet is likely to be relocated, the church is robbed.  Harriet immediately suspects that the Bishop has started clearing the building out already.  However, it was actually Will in a misguided attempt to keep Harriet in the Village.  Yes, I’m sure that will work.  Moron.  When Harriet discovers what he has done, she is understandably furious and has it out with him.  Dawn begs Harriet to lie to the police and cover up her Dad’s crime.  If he gets into trouble and their home life changes, her chances of getting her son back are over.  With Nicola’s campaign and a big, anonymous donation saving the church roof, the church is saved and will not close.  But Harriet is torn up with guilt for lying to the police, the community and the Bishop for Will’s crime, despite him insisting that he felt he was doing it for the right reasons.  Because he’s a moron.  The family, including Billy, have a successful home visit with Lucas.

I’m going to be honest here.  Emmerdale is seriously weak at the moment.  They have some fantastic characters, relationships and a few plots that are engaging.  But a lot of it is so boring.  They have some really weak characters that they need to get rid of i.e. Nate, Will and Al.  Their storylines are distracting and hard to focus on because they’re just not interesting enough.  They should be bring characters like Ryan into the light.  They should be moving Victoria, Wendy and Luke’s storyline on and other, stronger storylines.  There seems to be a lot of dithering in every episode at the moment.  Quite frankly, Emmerdale, you need a plane crash.  But please leave Charity and Vanessa intact.

Moving on… Noah lies to Charity about returning to hospital and needing a blood test, not wanting her to fuss.  Graham does finally alert Charity over the hospital admission and despite a hideous row with him where they both say some awful things, Charity rushes home to be with her son.  Noah accuses Charity of not loving him as much as Graham does but she makes it clear just how much she adores him.  She books the required blood test and takes him out for a special dinner.  Sarah is under more pressure to help Danny who is in trouble over the missing drugs.  But again… maybe Sarah and Danny should make friends with the kids from Hollyoaks.  All these storylines seem to be the same at the moment.  However, there is a twist in the tale as Sarah finally discovers what a liar Danny really is and backs out of the plan, sending him into the hands of the police.  Well done!

David rushes Theo to the Doctor, meaning that he has to register him and make his existence official.  Social Service become involved but after locating Maya abroad, she and the authorities are happy for Theo (who is named as Alex on his birth certificate) are happy for David to have custody (and be called Theo) and to begin making things official.

While all the kids, including Jacob are furious with Liam and Leyla, Diane merely scolds Liam and gently breaks the news that Bernice is staying in Australia permanently for the sake of her daughter.  However, she is more than happy for Liam to continue living with her and the girls.

Rhona is annoyed when Graham starts working at the outdoor adventure retreat with Kim but he has a cunning plan.  The first thing he does is trick Kim’s banking password out of new recruit Ryan steal a load of cash.

Hollyoaks (and Hollyoaks Later): The Serial Killer

Breda is absolutely brutal to poor, oblivious Jack and hands him back his ring.  Hapless Goldie becomes even more worried about her mother’s ‘dementia’ and moods and what she might do, still believing that her illness caused her to kill Harry.

Armed with his box of evidence, John Paul turns to recently released Mercedes and tells her everything he knows: Breda is the real serial killer.  When he discovers that Breda never sold the pig farm, he opts to keep the creepy old Nanny busy while Mercedes heads to the farm to find out everything she can.  Unfortunately, Breda had spotted the pair plotting and drugs John Paul’s tea, knocking him out – but not before she’s got out of him where Mercedes is headed.

Down at the farm, Mercedes is shocked to discover Tony locked up and half dead.  She attempts to rescue him but is attacked by Breda.  Tony makes one last ditch effort to save himself and Mercedes but he’s stabbed with a rake for his efforts.  Ugh!  Surely it can’t be that he has been held captive for so long and then die like this?  Breda locks them both up and Mercedes desperately tries to keep Tony talking and alive.  She lies to him that Diane has never given up on him or stopped looking for him.  However, in a rather boring distraction to the Hollyoaks Later episode, Diane attends a party with Edward, alongside Edward’s daughter, Verity who is getting it on with Sami who has clearly forgotten all about Sinead.

Jack returns his ring to Goldie, who puts it up for sale where Lisa recognises it as belonging to her Dad.  This obviously confirms to her that Mercedes really did kill Louis but between the ring and those hideous dolls, Goldie at last begins to put two and two together.

While the villagers gather together for a meeting to discuss the way forward, Goldie and Sylver track their mother down to the pig farm.  In fabulous serial killer style, she tells them the whole story.  The pig farm is a graveyard.  She murdered her abusive father and fed him to the pigs.  She murdered Sylver’s father and buried him at the pig farm.  She killed Goldie’s father and let Sylver take the blame.  Sylver is utterly destroyed.  They argue and she shoots him with a stun gun.  When Goldie goes for help, Breda sets the whole farm on fire, ready to die with her son.

Goldie rescues Mercedes and Tony who is pretty much dead already (please, no!)  Mercedes rushes into the inferno to save her husband, leading to a pretty brutal fight between her and Breda, ending only when Sylver stabs his mother in the head with her own knitting needles!  We absolutely knew that’s where it was heading, so to speak.  There were just too many shots of the needles at the beginning of the showdown.  They had to be important!  But still… ouch!

Diane and Edward are at it at the hospital and are just deciding to make a go of things for real when Tony is rushed into the emergency department.  Diane gets quite the shock!  Hollyoaks really is one for timing.  Misbah comforts guilty Diane, who confesses her relationship with Edward.  Edward delays calling for help when Tony goes into cardiac arrest, knowing that if Tony was out of the way then he could continue to pursue Diane.  However, he does eventually save Tony’s life himself.  When Tony wakes up, he is shocked to see Edward and to meet his sister, Verity for the first time.  But it’s a touching reunion for Tony and Diane as she vows never to let anything bad to happen to him again and he begs her to promise she knew he was lying on the phone and that she still loves him.  She reassures him but she is clearly torn up with guilt over Edward, who she has firmly rejected.  They close the episode with a lovely rendition of ‘Back For Good’.

John Paul returns to the shocked pub to tell them the truth – Breda is the real serial killer and she has been keeping Tony hostage for months.

The next episode takes place over a series of therapy sessions with Nancy’s doppelganger.  Diane supports Tony while Darren and Jack have a joint session and Sylver goes it alone before Mercedes joins him as they all attempt to process what Breda has done to them.

Tony lies about having nightmares as he discusses his time in captivity, missing his family and attempting to escape to escape.  But then he breaks down and admits that he misses Breda and has come to need her.  It’s an awful moment to see how utterly broken he is, hating himself for his attachment to his kidnapper.  He is going to have a hell of a lot to work through and he doesn’t even know about Diane and Edward.  Speaking of, when Tony spots Edward in one of the kids drawings, he is alarmed by how close his father has come to his family (if only he knew) and insists that Diane and the kids stay away from him, warning her that she has no idea what Edward is capable of…

Sylver struggles to control his anger during the session.  He claims to hate Breda for everything she has done to him, taking away his childhood and punishing him for a crime he didn’t commit.  While the therapist gives Sylver permission to miss Breda, Sylver is scared that he is a psychopath, just like his mother.  Mercedes is quick to reassure him that he is a good man and a good Dad.  Later, Mercedes misunderstands his hope that they can start again as an intention for them to get back together.  He just wants them to forgive each other.  He still wants to be with Grace.

Jack also struggles in the therapy session, torn up with guilt for not seeing what Breda was really capable of or being able to prevent the deaths of so many people.  The therapist suggests that he take a break in Portugal like he had originally planned and Darren supports the idea, taking him the airport himself.

Diane makes it clear that she has chosen Tony who has his own struggles as the children believe that he abandoned him.  Determined to remain part of the family, Edward concocts a story about how Tony’s Mum forced him to abandon the family home, that he tried to stay in touch (providing fake letters and cards which he later dumps) and that he has kept abreast of everything Tony has done in his life.  Actually, he has just done a lot of research.  And so while Diane is ready to send Edward (whose name is really Brian) away, Tony decides to ask him to stay.  I think this is the beginning of seeing just how dark Edward can be.  Goodness, we have only just got rid of Breda!

It’s an emotional day for Tony as he returns home to Diane and the kids but he struggles to adjust to every day noise and normal life.  The sound of a dripping tap triggers him to panic and lock himself in his room.  This is going to be a very long road.

Meanwhile, unaware that Warren has returned to the village with the twins, Sienna is struggling with her jealousy over the friendship between Brody and Liberty.  She organises for herself and Brody to spend the day together with no interruptions, only for Liberty to be rushed into hospital with hypoglycaemia.  Feeling guilty, Sienna admits her insecurities to Brody who promises that she is the only person he would ever be interested.  Warren then locates Brody alone and abducts him.  Sienna is immediately worried when poor Brody doesn’t come home.  Locked up, we witness a very strange pissing contest between captor and prisoner as they both try to prove that Sienna loves them the best.  Sienna comes running to meet her mystery texter in a bid to save Brody.  She is livid to come face to face with Warren but he interrupts her, desperately worried about their son.

Jesse and Courtney’s wedding is falling apart so Scott persuades Azim to step in as their wedding planner to help them pull it all back together.  Working together on the wedding, Scott, who has firmly rejected Mitchell, finds himself kissing Azim.

Home and Away: Grace

Robbo calls Justin to let him know about Tori as he races to get to her in time for the birth.  Robbo and Tori share a happy moment as they greet their daughter.  They name the baby Grace.  Robbo reassures Jasmine that the investigation is over and they are all safe.

The next day, as they prepare to go home, Tori becomes unwell and passes out.  She is helicoptered to the nearest hospital with post-partem pre-eclampsia.  Oblivious, Justin, Leah, Mason and Ava celebrate Tori and the newest addition to their family.  Robbo then has to break the news to Justin over what has happened.  As Tori goes into cardiac arrest, Justin and Mason rush to the hospital to see her.  Tori is diagnosed with having had a stroke and is now in a coma.  Willow accidentally puts her foot in it when asking Mason about Tori in front of Ava, who is already struggling to keep the seriousness of Tori’s condition from her.  Ava challenges Mason about the situation and finally, Justin has to explain exactly what has happened.

Robbo is overprotective when he and Jasmine bring Grace home to the Bay, leaving Justin frustrated that he has taken her away from Tori and not given the rest of the family a say in any of the decisions.  Jasmine is hurt when Robbo doesn’t seem to want to let her near the baby.  When Robbo asks Justin for the cradle he made for Grace, the boys get into an argument, Justin blaming Robbo for Tori’s situation.  A second confrontation sees Justin demanding custody of Grace but Robbo sends him away.  Robbo is angry with Jasmine for her perceived lack of support.

Ryder lies to Maggie that the incident with the bottle was just a joke.  She has no choice but to exclude him from his final exam, meaning that he will not pass his HSC.  He admits the truth to John, who recommends that he tell the truth.  Ryder obeys.  Maggie is shaken and angry (not with Ryder) by the news.  Ryder is anxious when Maggie wants to contact the police, aware of the pressure Blake is under at home but Maggie insists that what Blake was prepared to do was very serious.  Blake is furious with Ryder for betraying him.  Ryder is thrilled, however, when he finally finishes his HSC and therefore high school for good.

Continuing to take his medication, Ben is bad tempered as he struggles with his side effects.  He and Maggie end up arguing when she catches him throwing away his medication.  He also refuses to see the counsellor.  A talk with Dean prompts him to change his mind.

Dean gets annoyed with Ziggy and her promotion of the surf school, especially as the surf lessons are free.  He has to work flat out at Salt as well just to make ends meet.  He is exhausted and overwhelmed with the amount of work he has to do with setting the business up.  He tries to explain how he feels to Ziggy but she won’t listen, leading to a big argument the next day.  Getting the wrong end of the stick, Ziggy persuades Mac to cancel Dean’s shifts at Salt so that he can concentrate on his business.  Dean is livid.  When Ben explains to Ziggy that her exuberance may be a little overbearing, Dean easily gets his shifts back alongside the offer of getting time off for the business when he needs it.

Willow is also fretting about running the gym by herself, especially the prospect of hiring a new member of staff to replace Mason.  Seeing how much she is struggling with her workload, Alex ditches her PT session and helps her get organised.  Cue a very flirtatious interview role play as Alex teaches Willow how to interview potential new employees.  Their friendship is definitely back on.

Bella does everything she can to keep Colby away from Mac.  She persuades Dean to take him on as his assistant but Colby just ends up shouting at the students.  Ben takes over and Dean and Ziggy make up, leaving Colby free to get back together with Mac, enraging Bella.  Later, Alex finds her bashing a pole with a piece of wood, which has cut her hand.  She talks the angry teenager down and treats her hand, without thanks.  Colby and Mac decide to put Bella first.

Neighbours: The Boss

David, Harlow and Paul visit Robert in jail.  Robert apologises for initially letting David down and also asks him to pass on his apologies to Elly.  Paul actually thanks Robert for saving David’s life.

Chloe and Pierce are faced with having to fire people from Lassiters but things get even more serious when Lucy tells Pierce that Chloe is also for the chop.  She has two weeks to prove herself or she is done.  Terese is on hand to help Chloe get her act together and make a good presentation to Anita and also get a booking for a hundred people for the hotel.  Unfortunately, Anita and Pierce catch the women celebrating and their deception prompts Anita to recommend that Chloe loses her job after all.  Well, what did they think was going to happen when they were talking about it so openly?  Terese talks Anita round but Paul thinks Chloe should just hand herself in – she was only hired in the first place because she is Pierce’s wife!  Charming!  When Chloe overhears Pierce confirming what Paul has said and doubting her capabilities, she is beyond hurt.  However, Terese is certain that with some more training and support, Chloe will make an excellent General Manager and Pierce finally agrees.  Sadly, despite accepting the job, damage has clearly been done to their marriage.

Hendrix discovers Karl and Susan’s infamous blue box!  He hands an item over to innocent Harlow, claiming it’s a cat toy, which she uses to try and get the missing cat back.  Imagine her embarrassment when alarmed Ned informs her what the item really is!  Imagine how Karl reacts when Harlow angrily hands it back to Hendrix in front of him.  Furious Pierces demands that Hendrix apologises to Karl and Susan and change his behaviour.

Susan is furious that Elly and Finn have renewed their attraction to each other and are risking hurting Bea.  When Finn isn’t allowed to move himself and Bea out of the house, Elly decides that she needs to leave instead and moves in with Aaron and David, who despite being half dead a couple of days ago, is already out of hospital and up to visiting Robert who is already back in jail despite just having a serious operation.  But anyway, Karl and Bea are upset at Elly’s departure but she blames it on Hendrix, who is an absolute nightmare housemate.  She also claims to feel smothered.  Elly struggles through the night with a crying baby.  She and Finn miss each other.  Desperate, she eventually calls him and he helps to settle her.

Between living with baby Aster and seeing pictures of Amy and her new life in New York, Kyle struggles to cope with the future he had planned being taken away.  Toadie is increasingly worried about his state of mind and tries to involve him in the Buddy Club.  Kyle steps up to take on his first session at the Buddy Club and gets permission to use Amy’s yard to teach some kids woodwork.  However, in preparation the day before, he manages to lose Nell…

Soap Blog: Monday 30th December 2019 – Sunday 5th January 2020

Coronation Street

Tim is in trouble with Sally for agreeing to work over New Year’s Eve so Steve lies to Tracy in order to take on his shift.  Tracy, who is desperate to go to an Evanescence gig (who knew Amy was conceived to ‘Bring Me to Life’?) in a bid to escape the horror of everything that has happened recently with Derek’s rampage and Robert’s death, is bitterly disappointed.  She is also extremely upset when she catches Steve out in his lie.  Tracy ends up spending the evening getting drunk with Paula, who Amy is doing work experience with, in the pub instead and it turns out that the women have a connection they didn’t expect.  They lament over their broken relationships – Steve has let Tracy down and Sophie has gone off with a backpacker.

Tracy is shocked to wake up in bed with Paula on New Year’s Day and instantly regrets cheating on Steve, although Paula seems to find the whole thing amusing.  Well, it is a bit funny, especially the scene where Tracy is running around looking for her pants and Paula remarks that the previous night, Tracy was showing off about how during her prison days, she had ‘bedded more women than Madonna’!  And of course, during all of this, Amy pops round to give Paula some files and although Tracy hides, Amy knows that Paula has pulled.

When Tracy makes it home, Steve tries to make things up to his wife but Amy is mostly curious that her mother is wearing the same clothes from the night before and has brought home the wrong coat.  Tracy also lets slip that she knows Amy went to Paula’s that morning.  She meets Paula later to swap coats but things soon escalate into a row, Tracy claiming Paula took advantage of her and Paula insisting that Tracy initiated the whole thing.  When their argument spills out onto the Street in front of Amy, it doesn’t take long for the kid to work out what has happened.  She is horrified by her mother for cheating on her father, although Tracy tries to explain how hurt she has been feeling lately.  Oblivious Steve buys Tracy a cat, still trying to make things up to her.  Amy agrees to stay quiet but also decides to move out, citing Tracy ending her work experience with Paula due to apparent homophobia as the reason.  Tracy is horrified and quickly denies it, nearly dropping herself in it with Steve and the couple have no choice but to let their daughter leave home.

Izzy bumps into Derek’s widow and is shocked to learn all about the trouble he was in, owing money to loan shark, Gary, prompting her to confront him in the pub in front of everyone.  With no options left, Gary admits more or less everything to Maria, although he leaves out the part where he murdered Rick and buried him in the woods.  Maria is horrified, holding him responsible for both the roof collapse and the events of Christmas Day and therefore Robert, Rana and Derek’s deaths.  In a bid to fight his corner, Gary tells Maria about Ali’s drug addiction.  When Maria witnesses a man begging Gary for money and Gary insisting that he is out of the business but then taking pity on him and giving him an item from the shop instead, telling him how much Maria means to him, the muppet forgives him and pledges her commitment to him.  As if that whole thing wasn’t set up!  But gullible Maria falls for it and then outs Ali for his addiction in the pub.  Gary evicts Nick and Sarah from the factory building and changes the locks until they pay the full rent.  Adam proposes to Sarah properly and in public.  Gary is not impressed.  Because not only is Gary lying to Maria about his criminality, he’s also using her to get over Sarah as well.  You’d think with Maria’s history, she would have learnt a thing or two about bad men…

Ryan quits his job at the Bistro but Bethany and Faye are keen to impress their new boss, Ray.  Abi just cannot get things right when it comes to starting off a relationship with Kevin and ends up getting it on with Ray.  David remains by Shona’s bedside as she remains in a coma but eventually agrees to give evidence at Josh’s trial.  He tells the court of his rape ordeal but escapes the stand as soon as possible, explaining that he needs to be with his wife.  Hope accuses Ruby of hurting her arm but while her parents ignore her, Jade takes her to the hospital (via John Stape’s grave) for an x-ray as soon as possible.  When she gets there, Fiz explains that she fell off a bench but Hope has already mentioned that she slammed her arm in a door.  Now she has a very small fracture.  I wonder if Jade is friends with Leo from Eastenders.  I mean, they basically have the same storyline…

Doctors

Doctors is on its Christmas Holidays!

Eastenders

When Gray and Chantelle set off on their ‘honeymoon’ Karen is left to look after the house in their absence.  Of course, the first thing she does is arrange a New Year’s Eve party to distract her from her fears for Keanu.

Linda promises Mick that she will stay sober but continues to lie about her whereabouts on Christmas Day and ignore calls from an unknown number.  Clearly haunted by the events of Christmas Day, Linda escapes to Karen’s party in what is an absolutely fantastic episode (New Year’s Eve).  A huge round of applause to Kellie Bright for leading the entire episode!  Amazing!  We follow Linda as she arrives at the party sober but Karen’s trauma over Keanu pushes her into drinking more and more.  We see her partying with Kat and Denise.  We see her comforting Honey, insulting her and then warning Billy that she isn’t happy (Honey and Billy have been caught kissing and of course, Honey is battling an eating disorder and has broken up with vile Adam).  We see her locking herself in the bathroom, hiding from Mick.  We see her arguing with Shirley.  We see her losing time.  We also see her trying to contact Martin, suggesting that she was definitely involved with Keanu.  She has a horrible row with Sharon but she’s so drunk she can barely keep up with her own side.

It really was interesting to see her so drunk, knowing she has a drink problem, alongside characters who were equally drunk but who don’t have a drink problem and how you perceive the same actions but in different ways.  It was clever to include the time lapses she has and to make us as viewers experience the confusion about conversations she can’t remember, making us try to keep up when we has the same fractured information that she does.  It’s a very cleverly written episode and it’s brilliantly executed.

So, speaking of execution, on New Year’s Day, we have another great episode that finally fills in the blanks of Christmas Day.  For starters, Martin drives Keanu down to an old warehouse in order to kill him.  Of course, he struggles to do it.  There’s a rather nasty fight – a little too nasty, actually, for 8pm.  Poor, drunk Linda has fallen asleep in Martin’s van and the gunshots wake her.  After much debate, Linda comes up with the idea that they fake Keanu’s death by shooting him in the shoulder and filming him on the floor, covered in blood as if he was dead.  It doesn’t exactly go to plan.  For starters, Linda shoots him in the shoulder before they’ve even got the camera out!  But they manage it and off he goes, Linda and Martin promising never to speak of it again.  Martin burns all of Keanu’s things, crying his eyes out.

Meanwhile, back on the Square, Daniel returns and helps the Panesar Brothers put the Slaters electricity back on.  He also negotiates to pay the rent top up for them and decides to take the risk of revealing the truth to Jean that he is actually alive.  They argue at first but then admit that they love each other and decide to spend the rest of Daniel’s life together.

We also discover who attempted to steal money from Dot.  It was Sonia!  Can you even believe that?  I assume she did it because she is besotted with Martin and she was trying to help him.  But in the Christmas Day flashback (on New Year’s Day), she decided to prove that it was some hacker in Russia but phoning the bank with the landline plug pulled out.  Again though, there was a flaw in the plan, just like the idea of murdering someone to correct an accidental hit and run: Christmas Day is a BANK Holiday.  She would be extremely unlikely to have been able to call them.  They would very likely have been closed.  And nobody, including the girl who should have been an Oxford student by now, was capable of figuring that out.

And as everyone already knew, this Isaac bloke that Sheree was talking to on the phone was her son.  So what’s the big deal?  Why didn’t she just tell Denise that instead of walking out on Patrick?  Why does it matter if she has a son?  Is it going to be an interesting reveal or something utterly boring?  Time will tell, I suppose…

I have to say that although Coronation Street won Christmas for me, Eastenders were definitely on top when it came to strolling into 2020.  Definitely.  Emmerdale have yet to up their game.  They haven’t been on top for a while.

Linda wakes up feeling absolutely shocking on New Year’s Day with no memory of throwing Sharon out at 3am or of the awful things she said to her husband, including that if he had been a real man, he would have sorted out Dean after what he had done to her.  She also doesn’t remember physically attacking him.  It’s a difficult day as Linda recovers and pledges to do dry January and rebuild her life and her relationship with Mick, who has to spend the day apologising to everyone she offended the night before.

Ian stands up to Ben who is absolutely livid to learn that he has taken in Sharon who has nowhere else to go.  And when he sees just how broken Karen is over Keanu and also discovers that she knew all along about the affair but kept it secret, Martin tells her the truth – her son is alive but makes her swear to never tell.  When she still cannot cope with the loss of her boy, Martin takes pity on her again and takes her to the airport for one final goodbye with Keanu before he sets off for a new life with a new identity far away from any Mitchells that want to kill him.  Maybe.  I mean, it depends on how long Danny Walters has left on his contract.

Ash is horrified to discover that her brothers are moving into Adam and Honey’s old flat.  Iqra attempts to help Ash build bridges with her brothers but it all backfires when she discovers what Kheerat in particular is really like.  Not only does he dislike Ash for being bisexual and now in a relationship with a woman, he is horrified to realise that Iqra is a Muslim when they are a Sikh family.  Well, I take back what I said about him last week then…  It’s a shame really because he’s the only one of the three that isn’t irritating.

Emmerdale

David and Jacob, as well as the rest of the family are struggling to look after the baby as they wait for the DNA results.  The results reveal that David is the father.  He admits to Victoria and Eric that although he wanted to be the Dad over Jacob for the sake of his son, he doesn’t now know if he can cope with the baby or if he can love it, after all that Maya has done to their family.  They name the baby Theo Eric and he begins to come round to the idea of a new son.

Charity brings Noah home from hospital.  The family pretend that they have forgotten Ryan’s New Year’s birthday but while Vanessa distracts him and the other organise the party, he and Vanessa end up getting drunk so he is sick by the time he arrives!  Vanessa thinks Charity is hot when she’s angry!  It seems like their brief breakup did them the world of good…

Jamie is desperate to oust Rhona from the vets and undermines her with her colleagues and friends, revealing her previous plans to up and move away without even telling anyone, including taking Leo away from Marlon and Paddy.  Rhona tells Graham she still wants to leave.

Drunken Moira has a go at Wendy in the pub, when it has taken all of Bob’s charm to get her there in the first place.  Even Victoria doesn’t object to be being there!  Deciding to turn her life around, she arranges a work meeting but the drink starts flowing again and she then has to fight the client off when he hits on her and won’t take no for an answer.  She turns to drink once more, falling asleep on the couch, oblivious to Isaac calling for her.  It takes Vanessa arriving the day and physically having to shake her before she wakes up.  With Moira still over the limit from last night and Isaac seeming to have a chest infection, Vanessa takes the little boy to the Doctors on her behalf.  Moira and Chas end up in a huge argument about Moira’s behaviour but Chas finds compassion for her.  Nate interrogates Vanessa over why she has Isaac but Vanessa will not be moved.  Nate then raises his suspicions about Moira with Cain who bans Moira from seeing the kids until she has sorted herself out.  She is quick to blame Nate for stirring the pot.  Matty is horrified and embarrassed by his mother’s behaviour.  Vengeful, Moira gets into touch with Nate’s mother.  Things go wrong when Nate intercepts the meeting, leaving Moira a mess in front of Cain yet again.  She turns back to the wine before angrily lobbing a bottle at poor Matty’s head.  What a waste of wine!

Victoria goes into labour and Diane and Amy manage to get her to hospital without Wendy noticing.  She has the baby and despite some initial anxiety, holds her son for the first time and falls in love with him.  She changes her name back to Sugden.  Welcome to the world, Harry Sugden.

Luke rescues Aaron when he is thrown out of a bar and when he takes him to the hospital, he spots Diane visiting Victoria, thus discovering that she has had the baby.  He therefore tells his mother the news but forces her to hang back and not demand to see her grandson.  Victoria brings baby Harry home to the Village but Wendy is heartbroken not to be allowed to meet him properly.  She sends a hamper of gifts instead but Luke dissuades her from adding one of Lee’s old teddy bears to it.  Aaron avoids spending time with the baby.  Chas notices.

Leyla continues to flirt with Liam, who persuades her to help him at the beauty salon when Kerry doesn’t show up.  Leyla finally makes her move and kisses him.  Gabby gives Liam a Christmas present from Bernice, apparently telling him that Bernice still loves him.  However, when Liam confesses all to Bernice, she ends their relationship.  To be fair, it was wrong of her to dangle the poor bloke on a shoestring in the first place.  She is clearly using the kiss an excuse not to be the bad guy!  Anyway, Nicola, Leanna and Gabby are full of pity for Liam when they learn of the breakup.  Then they learn of the kiss.  In the world’s worst timing, Leyla tells Liam that she has feelings for him but all he wants to do is make things right with the kids.

Kim and Al get it on, only to be caught out by Jai.  He also catches Al taking money from the petty cash but Al talks his way out of it.  I’m sure all this will lead to a bigger story but I just don’t care enough to pay much attention to it.  I don’t care about Al.  I don’t care about his money.  I don’t care about his shenanigans, either business or pleasure.  I just don’t care.  It is so, so boring.  Harriet worrying about the possible closure of the church is more interesting than this and I can literally only write one sentence about it.

Hollyoaks

Cindy and Leela take Mandy out to cheer her up over her breakup with Darren, having also sent Luke out to talk some sense into Darren.  While out, Mandy tells Juliet off for being in a club underage, a decision she will live to regret as vengeful Juliet decides to spike Mandy’s drink with ketamine.  With Mandy off her face, Cindy walks her home but she somehow ends up waking up in the middle of the village in a fur coat she doesn’t recognise with absolutely no memory of the events of the night before.  Damon fills in some of the blanks but Juliet feels extremely guilty when she discovers what kind of state she put Mandy in by spiking her.  Mandy is even more scared when she finds a wad of cash in her bag with a note that says ‘you saw nothing, keep it shut’.  We then cut to a flashback of the night before where Mandy accidentally wanders into Toby and Celeste’s flat.  They are worried about her seeing something she shouldn’t and let her have the coat she has picked up by accident, hoping she’ll just think she walked into her own flat.  Then they bundle her out the door.

Darren also appears to have changed his tune, presumably due to Nancy getting engaged to Kyle and is keen to make things work between him and Mandy.  She is reluctant after he, you know, slept with Nancy behind her back and told her their whole relationship was mistake.  And now of course she is dealing with a whole night that is missing from her memory.

Juliet also has a rough night on ketamine, as Sid has to drag her home for help from Peri to look after her, where Juliet promptly wets herself.  Seriously?  Peri ends up in love with this girl?

Breda is acting creepier and weirder than ever as she comes under pressure to move to Portugal with Jack but of course, she has Tony locked away at the pig farm and she has big plans in place for Mercedes.  John Paul and Matthew arrive back in Hollyoaks Village only to walk in on Breda hiding her murderous souvenirs under the floorboards.  However, the next episode doesn’t carry on directly and we see John Paul curiously about to look under the rug only to be interrupted by Mercedes and Breda preparing to go to Portugal.  He tells Sally that it’s all over between himself and Craig, who is now dating a personal trainer.

Meanwhile, Sylver is annoyed that Sally took Bobby to see Mercedes but she explains that the little boy is worried about his mother.  He listens and holds an olive branch out to Mercedes.  Breda overhears the whole conversation.  She leaves a picture Bobby has drawn with a confession written on the back on DS Cohen’s car.  The prints on the picture belong to Mercedes.

Jack is frustrated with his son, as are we all but takes pity on him when Darren explains that he has nobody and is terrified that Mandy will throw him out and block access to DJ.  Breda is utterly furious and even threatening when Jack has to cancel the trip to look after Darren.  She had planned to go forever.  Later, Darren is in The Hutch when he is stabbed from behind by Breda, who is then trapped there by unwitting Nancy who has come to end their marriage for good.  Now, it’s shocking but we at least know from the Flash Forward episode that Darren survives (even if he was in a rather sorry state) so that’s at least a relief.  We’re due for a Hollyoaks Later episode on Monday so it looks like Breda is stepping up her reign of terror for the big climax!

Breda manages to slip out of The Hutch and return to the pub where the McQueens are hosting a second Christmas.  This is promptly interrupted by the arrival of the police, ready to ransack the place and arrest poor Mercedes on suspicion of being the serial killer.  However, they don’t find Breda’s secret little box, previously hidden under the floorboards as John Paul has already found it and taken it.  Is someone onto Nanny Breda at last?

Meanwhile, Nancy and Mandy rush Darren to hospital where thankfully he will be just fine.  He and Mandy reunite and Mandy and Nancy become friends again at last.  Nancy and Darren sign their divorce papers.

Sienna is uncomfortable around Brody and Liberty.  She finally breaks and pretty much tells them she knows the truth and then storms out.  When she returns, she gives them the opportunity to tell her the truth but they refuse to take it.  I suspect this is a big mistake.

Home and Away

Home and Away is on its Christmas Holidays!

Neighbours

The Rebecchi Family welcome Kirsha home for New Year and then barely even speak to her.  No wonder she left in the first place, quite frankly.  Toadie receives an email from Piper – a video of Sonya from a year ago, full of her hopes and dreams for the future.  Heartbreaking.  But lovely to include Sonya in the New Year celebrations.  He takes the video as inspiration to be more like Sonya and include her values and ethics in their daily lives, to keep reminding the children of who she really was.

Yasvhi and Hendrix reluctantly attend the New Year’s Eve party together.  Jealous over Ned chatting up another girl, Yashvi finally takes the plunge and she and Ned get back together.  This is not met happily by Shane, although he doesn’t his best to keep his feelings from his daughter.

David’s infection has almost gone.  Yep.  Just like that.  He was half dead about two days ago.  Now he’s sat up and chatting away!  But that’s Neighbours for you.  With Roxy keeping visiting him, he easily works out that the other successful donor he was told about is her.  She feels terrible but he completely understands.  Paul does not.  Harlow and Paul fall out as she continues to defend Robert and is upset to learn that he was right all along – Paul would never have gone ahead with the deal they made.

Toadie looks after Kyle in the wake of his breakup with Amy.  Paul is distraught to learn that Amy is moving to New York.  While Kyle refuses to say a proper goodbye to the woman he loves, he looks on from a distance as she bids farewell to her family and friends.  Then she heads off with Jimmy and Leo.  Well, I think it’s a rubbish end.  Fine, she needs to go and look after Jimmy.  Give Kyle a reason to stay behind.  But did you have to absolutely destroy them like that?  Really? 

Kyle and Roxy end up getting drunk together and upset over Amy, Kyle hits on Roxy who is hurt that Kyle just assumes that she would be up for it.  She rejects him and runs off to seek support from Shane, who she growing rather close to at the moment.  Shane is very kind and supportive, backing up that it’s her life and her body to make decisions about.  Nobody should ever assume that she is just available because they want her.  He reiterates this to Kyle the next day, as does Roxy.  Kyle is aghast that Roxy believes he was trying to use her.  Which he was.  But probably not intentionally.  It’s a genuinely interesting story.  Roxy has a persona.  She dresses a particular way.  She has a particular attitude.  Mark Brennan used her horribly and completely forgot that she was a real person with real feelings.  (Well, not actually a real person, she’s a soap character but you get what I mean!)  But just because of Roxy’s style and attitude and just because she may choose to have one night stands or flings, doesn’t mean she should be expected to have them.

Meanwhile, Elly is struggling to settle the baby but Finn seems to have the magic touch and helps her out in the middle of the night.  With a house full, including Hendrix crashing on the couch, Finn upgrades his commitment to Bea by moving into her room so Hendrix can have his room.  Elly doesn’t look thrilled.  When Elly struggles again with baby Aster, Finn returns home to help (only for Elly to literally put the baby down and she goes quiet) but it creates a conveniently charged moment of comfort for Susan to walk in on.  Elly then has no choice but to confess to Susan that she has started to have feelings for Finn.  You know, that Elly just cannot stop having inappropriate romantic feelings, can she?  She may want to see someone about that.  I believe David went to the Karl Kennedy School of Medicine and qualified to be a psychiatrist in the course of about a day.  Maybe when he’s back on his feet?  As for Elly, she slept with boyfriend’s sister.  She got pregnant by her stalker’s brother when she was married and then tried to pass the baby off as her husband’s.  And now she fancies her stalker again who just so happens to be in a relationship with her sister.  And that doesn’t even cover the things she got up to when she used to be called Martha Mackenzie and she lived in Summer Bay…

Soap Blog: Monday 23rd – Sunday 29th December 2019

Coronation Street

Gullible Sean and Billy believe that Jade is sleeping rough when she comes to their soup kitchen and immediately inform Fiz who takes her in over Christmas.  Only Evelyn is smart enough to have the girl’s number.  Emma panics over the reappearance of Alina and prematurely breaks up with Seb, believing that he would never choose her, although he does eventually reassure her.  Tracey is annoyed with Steve for spending too much money on his new daughter for Christmas.  When Robert keeps quiet about what Michelle did to him, she persuades Vicky to agree to meet him.  Elated, he plans to start a new life in Ireland where he can be part of his baby’s life in what capacity he is allowed to be.  Max rebels yet again and informs Shona that he wishes she was dead.  Well, that doesn’t bode well for Christmas Day, does it…?

Rita is set for a sad and lonely Christmas when she feels that nobody has time for her and when Jenny tries, Rita ends up wishing she hadn’t bothered.  Subsequently, Rita lies to her friends about going away for Christmas, not wanting to be a burden to them but alone, she attempts to decorate the Christmas tree and has a fall.  She ends up injured, lying on the fall all night.  It’s only when Jenny ends up with a stab of conscious and a funny feeling that’s something is wrong (having spent weeks not bothered about Rita, the sole reason she even has a life on the Street at all) that she discovers her deception and rushes round to rescue her.

Gary reveals that he now owns the factory and is quick to throw his weight around with Nick and Sarah.  He then tackles Derek who has tried to demand money from him again, tying him up and holding him against his will overnight, ruining his one last chance to make things right with his wife and kids.

Christmas Day starts for Gary in a panic when he discovers that the gun and a packet of bullets that he locked away have gone missing.  Fiz brought them back from a house clearance with Jade and Hope, not realising what they were so he confiscated them, only for someone to break into the shop and take them.  He tackles Fiz, who tackles Hope, which causes a row but actually, Derek is the culprit and he has one target at the top of his list.

While Jenny brings Rita home to stay with her after her ordeal, she and Johnny hold a party for her in the pub to show her how much they and everyone love her.  I should think so too!  Subsequently, most of the Street are gathered in the pub for when drunk, vengeful Derek appears, demanding to know where Gary is (he’s in the toilets, demanding to know if Ali stole his gun.  He didn’t.  Obvs.)  I have to say, the siege scenes, were actually pretty exciting and surpassed Christmas Day expectations.  You know when a soap promises a lot for Christmas but it doesn’t deliver?  I would say, Coronation Street really did this year.  Of all the soaps, I would crown them the Christmas Winners.  The only thing I would say was a bit weird was Shona in a Box.  But I’ll get to that.

Derek calls Gary’s bluff about the gun being a dud and shoots the gun at the door, shooting poor Robert, who has been excitedly preparing to meet Vicky was just about to walk in.  He collapses alone in the street.  We all heard the rumours that Robert would be shot on Christmas Day and being that he was leaving, he would likely die but this was an awesome way of doing it.  Really unexpected.

There’s a huge cat and mouse chase through the Street and into the Winter Wonderland, Derek calling out Gary and the Platt family who had been doing some sort of hide and seek treasure hunt thing for David’s birthday.  This leads me to Shona in a Box.  Basically, the show just ran out of ways to hide Julia Goulding’s baby bump so they put her in a box, drinking beer, waiting for David to find her.  Instead, all the family are scattered, hiding from Derek until little Harry runs out and ‘brave’ Gary steps in to save him, getting shot in the process.  Sadly, he survives and Sarah thinks he’s a big hero, as do the rest of the Street by the end of the episode. 

While armed police descend on the Street but pretty much do absolutely nothing, Gary tackles Derek himself.  During their scuffle, a bullet goes astray and shoots directly into Shona’s box, rushing her off into maternity leave.  I mean, surgery.  Gary does attempt to save Derek at the last minute but he falls off the giant staircase anyway and dies.  Gary is hailed a hero by everyone.  Max is distraught, having treated Shona so badly before she was shot.  Oh and during all this, Adam and Sarah found the time to get engaged.

Michelle rushes to the hospital as soon as she hears what has happened to Robert and they manage to make peace before he dies.  There’s actually quite a sweet moment where she makes a pretend call to Vicky, allowing him to believe that she forgives him too.

While reporters descend on the Street in the wake of Christmas Day, the residents are attempting to pick up the pieces of their lives.  Furious that Gary is being hailed a hero, Ali goes to the police and informs them that he is a loan shark.  Shona takes a turn for the worse and ends up in a coma that she may never wake up from.  Still grieving for Robert and guilt ridden over how she treated him in the weeks before he died, Michelle is distraught to learn that she has sold the Bistro to Ray.  Unable to change anything, she leaves the Street for a new life.  Tyrone is furious with Fiz for bringing the gun to the Street in the first place.  Well, he does have a point.

Doctors

Doctors is on its Christmas Holidays!  Ho, ho, ho!

Eastenders

Phil and Ben’s query into Sharon’s acquaintances around the time of her pregnancy suddenly piques Louise’s suspicions.  The only person her step-mother was really spending time with was Keanu.  Lisa confirms to Phil that Mel told her that Sharon did cheat on him but she is too scared to tell him everything she knows.

Keanu and Louise bring baby Peggy home for Christmas but things go awry when Sharon and Keanu separately tell stories about a Santa themed stag party they saw at a hotel, accidentally confirming their affair.  It’s genuinely emotional when Phil confronts Sharon.  He cries!  He has really softened over these past few months and it was nice to see that remain during their showdown rather than it just being anger.  However, he has also started divorce proceedings and intends to keep custody of Denny.  He then physically throws her out onto the street.  Meanwhile, Louise also confronts Keanu who admits the truth and begs forgiveness and persuades her to run away with him, which she agrees to.  And of course, poor Lisa gets blamed for keeping the truth to herself.

When Sonia attempts to confront Martin about his behaviour, he physically shoves her out of the way, determined to complete the robbery he has planned with Tubbs.  The boys are successful but in their jubilation, Tubbs accidentally knocks someone over.  Having already run over and killed Jamie Mitchell many years before (is that why they’ve mentioned that so many times in recently months?), Martin is distraught and wants to get help but Tubbs insists they leave.  Martin begs Ben to help him get rid of the van but he refuses.  Distraught by his actions, Martin clings to gullible Sonia and they end up in bed together, although he is casual with her again the next day.

With Phil on the rampage, Ben takes the problem of Sheanu into his own hands.  He tells Martin that he will sort out the van on one condition: Martin must kill Keanu.  Well, that’s all very dramatic but there’s one problem, Eastenders.  How is it logical that Martin would solve the problem of a hit and run where he wasn’t even driving and even a robbery by actively murdering a human being?  How does that make it better?  Stupid, stupid storyline.  I mean, I as we didn’t actually see the murder, I am sure he didn’t actually do it but still, the premise of it, is ridiculous.

The most shocking part of it all comes when Keanu and Louise are about to run away and it turns out that Louise was setting him up!  My wife saw it coming but I didn’t.  Shame on me, really.  It’s not often I don’t guess these things.  I’d forgotten that Louise was a Mitchell, I think.  She has just been so in love with Keanu all this time.  I never thought she was capable of sentencing him to death.  But sentence him she does and then she and the rest of the clan set themselves up with alibis in the pub where they (including Denny) publicly reject Sharon who confesses all to everyone gathered.  Karen immediately panics at what may have become of her son.  Later, Martin shows Ben footage on his phone of him apparently shooting Keanu, confirming that he is dead and the deed is done.  Ben then gets rid of the van.

Linda dismisses Mick’s concerns about her drinking which soon spirals out of control during lunch with Max and Ruby.  It starts badly when Linda wears a sexy Santa outfit, thinking Ruby is going to as well.  Then Linda drinks more and more and becomes more and more abusive towards Ruby, thinking the younger woman is looking down on her.  The whole thing erupts into a huge row between Mick and Linda.  She storms out drunk, only to pass out in the middle of the Square.  Lee, who has returned as a surprise for Christmas, finds her and takes her to hospital, where Mick refuses to visit.  Broken and alone, Linda discharges herself and carries on drinking, remaining absent for the whole of Christmas Day.  Mick is beside himself, resulting in a panic attack.  When she does come home, she lies about her whereabouts and cleans blood off her shoe.  So… was she somehow involved in Keanu’s ‘death’?  And how on earth would that even have happened?  This is Eastenders though.  They enjoy the ridiculous even more that Hollyoaks these days.  She promises Mick that she will stop drinking.

Enraged by Leo still hanging around and heartbroken over losing Ben, Callum attacks Leo, forcing Jack to have to arrest him, putting Callum’s future career in danger.  However, when Whitney agrees to meet up with Leo, he tells her he loves her and believes her about Tony and agrees not to press charges against Callum.  Ben lets Callum leave Walford for Christmas utterly heartbroken.

Locked in their house with no electricity, the Slaters are set for a miserable Christmas.  At breaking point, Kat, Kush and Big Mo all go out searching for someone to take them in and all of them are successful, meaning that they end up going to the Taylors, the Beales and to Honey and Billy.  The eldest Panesar brother, Kheerat (I’ve learnt his name as I’ve actually started to come round to him) overhears Kat breaking down on Kathy about Jean and cancels their rent increase, bonding the two families.  It’s a Christmas miracle!

Things go wrong when Chantelle and Gray’s wedding vow renewal venue falls through.  When Chantelle is unable to find another, Gray scares her by losing his temper, making her unsure as to whether she wants to go through with the renewal at all.  So when a venue comes through after all, she turns them down.  Realising that his wife is having doubts, Gray manipulates Karen into setting up a renewal at the house and pretending it was all her idea, although the truth quickly comes out.  At the ‘altar’ Chantelle almost doesn’t go through with it.  Afterwards, Gray is short tempered and demanding, resulting in him dragging Chantelle upstairs, claiming that they need to start trying for a baby immediately.  She has no choice in the matter.  A horrific ending to that particular episode.

Denise becomes more suspicious of Sheree when she believes she is dating a man named Isaac.  She gives her no choice but to walk away from Patrick.  She doesn’t say goodbye, prompting Patrick to blame Denise for her departure but some helpful words from Lola make him forgive her.

Emmerdale

The Villagers turn out for the Panto which is a roaring success, with Kim Tate of all people ending up as the surprise star of the show.  Liam takes a call from Bernice during the show, ending their relationship and cancelling the wedding, resulting in a particularly emotional climax to the show.  He remains oblivious to Leyla growing feelings for him.

Noah lies unconscious in the woods while Sarah harasses him for the drugs he took from her and Danny harasses her for the drugs she has been looking after for him.  When Charity realises that her son is actually missing, she and Vanessa become frantic but thankfully, a dog walker finds him and rushes him to hospital.  They are told that thanks to the drugs he took and the hypothermia, his kidneys are damaged.  Sarah pressures Noah at the first available opportunity not to tell anyone anything.  Graham steps up immediately to tell Charity about the drugs he took away from Noah but her response is just to be furious that he didn’t warn her at the time.  While I do agree that he should have said something, I also agree with Graham that she has been oblivious to her son’s unhappiness for too long.  Danny and Sarah throw Noah some hush money for his ordeal.  Noah tries to explain to Charity that he took the drugs because he felt alone.  He had had a huge row with Sarah, Graham had reminded him of Joe and Charity was always too busy to talk to him.  Unfortunately, all Charity hears is that Graham upset him (and didn’t alert anyone about the drugs).

On Christmas Day, David, Jacob, Leyla and Eric get a shock when they discover that Maya has left a baby on their doorstep and David or Jacob are the father of the child.  Leyla realises that should Jacob be the father, it would prove that Maya abused him.  David asks Liam to fiddle the DNA results in order to make it that he is the father, not wanting to traumatise his son further.  Yes, dishonesty has worked out so well in your lives so far, David.  Liam and Leyla attempt to track Maya down at her mother’s house but find that she has left the country.  Her mother also appears to hate her anyway.  This doesn’t appear to be solely related to her being a paedophile.

Aaron, who is continuing to hook up with random men in secret, actually says thank you to Wendy for helping Liv.  Things get tense at the Dingles when Nate and Cain are forced to spend Christmas Day together.  Moira spends Christmas Day alone and by Boxing Day it’s apparent that her drinking is spiralling out of control.  Perhaps she and Linda from Eastenders should become Facebook friends.  Nicola and Laurel start meeting up in secret.

Kim and Marlon bond when he caters Home Farm’s Christmas Dinner.  Millie reveals to Kim that Rhona took five of her hairs in a ‘game’ and when Kim confronts Graham about it, he reveals the results of the DNA test – Jamie is the father.  They have an extremely bitter row and Kim says some unforgiveable things.  Subsequently, Graham interrupts Christmas Dinner and announces that he and Andrea had an affair and that Kim has been aware for months that he could have been (but isn’t) Millie’s father, leaving Jamie utterly devastated.  Marlon is then left furious when he discovers Graham’s plans to move to France with Rhona and Leo, which Kim confirms were all down to her.  He tells Rhona under no uncertain terms that she will not take his son away from him.  Despite being angry with Graham, Rhona blindly sticks with him and assures Marlon that France is cancelled.  Meanwhile, Jamie has lost all faith in his mother and his wife.  He remains in the family home for the sake of his daughter but his relationships are dead.  Perhaps a potential relationship with Belle is on the cards?  She was certainly the first person he turned to (after he punched Graham).  He also cannot forgive Rhona for her part in everything.

Hollyoaks

Plagued by her discovery that Brody and Liberty have betrayed her, Sienna locks them in the flat together and spies on them from next door with anxious Martine.  However, Sienna is heartbroken to listen in and discover that the last of her eggs was found to not be viable and actually, they only slept together once and it was a misguided attempt to provide her with the baby she so desperately desires.

Word begins to spread about Luke’s diagnosis so in order to cheer him up, Nancy decides to throw a New Year’s Eve party in his honour.  Also in response to his news, Cindy pledges her commitment to him, in sickness and in health; she still wants them to get married.

While Nancy wants to divorce Darren, her ex has other ideas.  He has finally realised that he and Nancy belong together!  Unfortunately, Charlie has got wind of what happened in the tunnels and he isn’t very happy about Darren and Nancy confusing the family situation all over again.  Then while Leela tries to get her head around the fact that Nancy, Mandy and Cindy have all slept with all the same men, Mandy is uncharacteristically defensive of Nancy and what a good person she is.  Feeling guilty, Nancy admits that she and Darren cheated on her and Kyle.  Excellent.  Mandy is devastated and Kyle punches Darren and breaks up with Nancy.  Darren admits that he feels they were a mistake.  Lovely!  However, Nancy doesn’t feel the same way and persuades Kyle to give her another chance, revealing to him that she is pregnant.  They decide to get engaged, announcing their news (not the baby) to the party.  Darren is devastated.

The younger kids, Charlie, Leah and Ella are all spending New Year’s together and play a game of truth or dare when Charlie has to sneak into the adults’ party and steal something.  He bags a tub of ice cream and Darren’s wallet.

Ollie persuades Brooke to make friends with Juliet after all the upset between them.  Juliet’s day gets even better when she and Sid, who is being fostered by Leela, decide to be a proper couple.  At their party, Imran feels like a fifth wheel until Sid storms out completely, having been turned down for sex by Juliet.  When Imran and Ollie catch up with Sid, they find him buying drugs, prompting Luke to give him a firm but kind talking to, asking him not to blame himself for his Dad’s death and imagine a future of happiness and success.  He draws on enough of his own experience that Sid hands the drugs over.  Inspired and impressed, Ollie decides to start playing football again and move on with his life.  Luke backs out of telling him about his diagnosis.

Meanwhile, back at the party, Brooke is consoling Juliet who admits that she is a virgin and then tries to kiss Brooke.  Well, I didn’t see that coming.  Oh wait, yes I did.  Brooke is really kind as she tries to persuade Juliet to explore how she feels and whether she might be gay or bisexual and offers her full support (while making it clear that she is straight).  Juliet closes up, denying that she is interested in Brooke or any other female.  We’ll see.  Unfortunately, Juliet decides to sleep with Sid to prove her heterosexuality.  I’m sure that will end well.  Peri interrupts and after a spat between the girls, Juliet almost has second thoughts but Sid’s promises that he is committed to her persuade her otherwise.

Tom changes plans to go clubbing for his birthday so that Yazz can join in.  His kindness and thoughtfulness prompt the two of them to get together!  Well, he’s definitely a better catch than Finn!

Nancy gives a speech to all the party goers as they count down to midnight, bringing in 2020, unaware as we are of what is to come, as during the New Year episode, we see several ‘flash forward’ clips (I really do love Hollyoaks for their unique creativity in this way).  So, we see:

Someone dramatically asking Charlie what he has done, later revealing Nancy in shock at the police find drugs hidden in his games controller.  Leela on the phone, presumably waiting for Sid and finding a guitar smashed on the ground.  Ollie sat in a toilet cubicle, clearly hooked on drugs and missing someone so much.  Has Luke died?  Mandy horrified to find wads of cash in Ella’s bag.  This is all to do with the county lines/drug running storyline one would assume.

Marnie and Misbah are apparently the best of friends and Marnie couldn’t have got through the last year without Misbah.  Their families are also now joined in marriage.  Who?!?!?  In wedding suits, Tom tells Romeo to get a grip or he’ll ruin the wedding.  Romeo is in tears as he tells Tom he ‘still loves her’.

We also see Darren in tears.  Peri and Juliet are in a relationship (and attending this mystery wedding).  John Paul breaks down over a mystery dead body outside The Hutch.  Who’s dead?!  Apart from (presumably) Luke?!

Home and Away

Home and Away is on its Christmas Break until January 2020.  Instead, on My5, there is a Christmas themed behind the scenes episode every Monday, hosted by Jason Smith who played Robbie Hunter between 2003 and 2006.

This week is the last episode, a Home and Away Christmas with a large portion of the cast: Ray Meagher (Alf Stewart), Lynne McGranger (Irene Roberts), Emily Symons (Marilyn Chambers), Ada Nicodemou (Leah Patterson-Baker), Georgie Porter (Roo Stewart), Belinda Giblin (Martha Stewart), Shane Withington (John Palmer), Sophie Dillman (Ziggy Astoni), Patrick O’Connor (Dean Thompson), Tim Franklin (Colby Thorne), Sam Frost (Jasmine Delaney), James Stewart (Justin Morgan), Emily Weir (Mackenzie Booth), Penny McNamee (Tori Morgan), Lukas Radivich (Ryder Jackson) and Rohan Nichol (Ben Astoni).

They discuss their first scenes with Ray, showing Jason’s own first scene with him, a clip that also includes Chris Hemsworth as Kim Hyde.  Rohan discusses the arrival of the Astoni family and how a scene with Ray felt like they had truly arrived.  Their car broke down and Alf told them they happened to have broken down in Summer Bay, the best place on earth to which Ziggy responded she had had never heard of it.  Ray has mutual admiration for Rohan.

Talking about highlights of the year, James immediately mentions marrying the love of his life, Sarah Roberts (who plays Willow Harris).  Lynne talks about the abuse storyline and Tim discusses Colby’s on-off relationship with Mac.  Sam jokes that her highlight has been chasing Irene around the Bay complaining about her relationship problems!  Georgie tells Ray that her genuine highlight of the year was him returning to work after his triple heart bypass.  And so say all of us!

Shane and Ryder share some funny stories and playing jokes on each other.  Sophie admits that she once accidentally sprayed herself with shaving cream instead of deodorant just as a crew member walked in.  Emily W reveals that during a surfing scene she one lost the entirety of her bikini!

Jason separates the cast into Team Ray (Ray, Ada, Emily S, Patrick, Penny, Georgie, Rohan and Belinda) and Team Lynne (Lynne, James, Lukas, Emily W, Tim, Shane, Sophie and Sam) to answer questions, some of which reveal some spoilers for 2020:

So, we will see:

  • Two wedding dresses
  • A new family of four
  • A new love interest for Ryder
  • Leah goes missing
  • Roo will receive some life changing happy news

Team Lynne are the winners!

The whole cast gather round the table and exchange their Secret Santa gifts, which also may reveal some spoilers for 2020:

Ray:                 A new hat for a ‘special event’

Ada:                 A veil

Martha:           A CD of Alf and Martha’s favourite songs

Emily W:          A Magic 8 Ball (she asks if Mac’s love life will get easier – it says Not Likely!)

Emily S:           A really creepy looking dog handbag

Sam:                A Motherhood Survival Kit

Lukas:              Boxing Gloves

Sophie:            Car Dice

Tim:                 A Moon Boot

Jason:              Glasses (like Robbie used to wear)

Ray then asks the cast to go round the table and say the word that they associate with Home and Away:

Lynne:              Friends

Shane:             Sunsets

Sam:                Romance

Tim:                 Surf

Emily W:          Relationships

Penny:             Peaceful

Lukas:              Grumps!

Martha:           Forgiveness

Rohan:             Beginnings

Sophie:            Family

James:             Mates

Ada:                 Love

Patrick:            Laughter

Emily S:           Happiness

Georgie:          Home

Ray’s word is Community, explaining that although things change all the time, the one thing that’s consistent is the community and Summer Bay spirit.  He thanks viewers for support this year and the past thirty years asking us to keep watching and wishing us as Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  Then they all sing a very merry ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’.  Lovely!

Neighbours

Amy begins to suspect that Jimmy could be using drugs.  However, when she confronts him, the real truth comes out.  He has brought his girlfriend, Maya home with him from New York, having wanted to protect her from her violent father.  With Liam not interested in helping them, Jimmy has brought her to the one person he knew would take care of them: his Mum.  Amy talks to Maya’s mother, also a victim of the domestic violence and arranges for Maya to go home and begin to sort out the situation.  She agrees to return to New York to help Jimmy but her son doesn’t feel it’s enough.  He doesn’t have the right support from Liam and begs Amy to move to New York permanently.  Amy agrees but while Kyle offers to come with her, she turns him down.  Kyle isn’t someone she can now see a future with.  It’s over.

Robert is brought to the hospital for his transplant and is allowed to meet members of the Robinson family for the first time.  Harlow breaks to rules to see her father before he and David are prepped for surgery and she is the only one who cares whether he too survives.  Of course, his apparent kindness has all been a lie and he sneakily refuses the sedative which is conveniently given to him as a tablet rather than intravenously like it would in any other hospital situation.  He removes the tablet from his mouth as soon as his handcuffs are removed.  He knocks out his guard and escapes the hospital.

Robert stalks Paul back to Ramsay Street but is distracted when he spots Elly from a distance.  To prevent her from contacting the police, he chases her back into her house, threatening her with a knife.  She promptly goes into labour (well, it is Christmas Day) and he refuses to call for any help.  Thankfully, heroic Finn pops back from the concert (guess who’s performing?!) to check on her and miraculously turns into a midwife and delivers baby Aster, named after Shaun’s favour flower.  Once the baby is born, Robert trots off.  As Elly settles into her new life as a mother, the growing attraction between her and Finn is now visibly clear.  He anxiously admits his feelings for Elly.  She dismisses her own as confusion over the feelings she had for Shaun and both promise they would never betray Bea.  We’ll see how long that lasts, shall we?

Guilty Roxy seeks Shane’s advice and he admits that if he was a match, he would donate.  Frantic Paul tracks a kidney down on the black market but time is fast running out.  David gathers his family together, one by one in a bid to say goodbye.  Watching David and Aaron attempt to say their goodbyes breaks Roxy who admits to Terese that Harlow has arranged to see Robert.  She is about to admit that she is a match when Harlow walks through the door with Robert and the police.  Faced with the ultimatum of weekly visits while he is in prison or never seeing his daughter again on the run, Robert has relented and handed himself in as well as agreeing to go through with the transplant which looks to be a success.

Toadie and the kids face their first Christmas without Sonya.  Yashvi and Ned make peace.  Hendrix continues to battle his feelings for Chloe.