Coronation Street – No Hope!

Fiz and Tyrone are at their wits end again with Hope, unaware that Jade is busy stirring the pot.  Keen to build up a case against Fiz, Jade covers Hope in fake bruises and takes photos of her.  She also attempts to plant seeds of doubt about Fiz’s capabilities of a mother to Evelyn.  Well, she messes that up.  Evelyn absolutely has that girl’s number!  She practically throws a party when Fiz and Tyrone give Jade the boot in favour of putting Hope back into school when a place magically reveals itself.  She doesn’t even take Jade’s side when Fiz completely loses her rag with Hope and smashes up her tablet.  So besotted is Hope with Jade though that she takes the blame when she finds Jade smashing up a photo frame of Fiz and Tyrone.  When the little girl accidentally cuts herself on some glass, Jade sees it as an opportunity to rush her to the medical centre to get patched up and sets the wheels in motion to raise some hypothetical concerns about Fiz.  She also gives Hope a secret phone so they can stay in touch behind her parents’ back. But the truth about Jade’s sinister plot is revealed to the audience alone when she visits John Stape’s grave one night – she is his daughter, therefore Hope’s half-sister.

Roy butts heads with his niece, Nina, over the care of his brother, Richard.  However, Richard soon requests that when he is gone, Roy look after Nina, who is quite annoying but it will be nice to have Roy have some family ties (besides Carla, obvs) on the Street again now that Hayley has gone.  May she rest in peace.

It all kicks off on The Street as news of Kel’s abuse of Paul spreads and he arrested for abuse and burglary.  Nick tries and fails to enlist Kirk’s help to double cross Sarah and the factory girls.  Michelle continues to plot against Robert in the most boring story in Coronation Street history.

Doctors – Woman Up!

Somehow, Ayesha and Bear manage to persuade Emma to being filmed having a smear test for their new Smears Without Fears Campaign.  Cue very funny scenes with Ruhma trying to film the girls doing a smear test to be presented at an evening at The Mill where other women are encouraged to have their tests.  Zara bursts in on them and is thrown out and there is lots of squabbling, which is always delightfully written in Doctors, I think.  Zara yells at the others for being petty and tells them to Woman Up!  Also, the campaign itself is brilliant so any woman reading this – make sure you go for your test if you haven’t already!

Zara concludes that she was right and they have made completely the wrong choice in Bear when she reads his rubbish minutes.  However, Al concludes that he is merely dyslexic and Daniel is impressed with his ingenuity while Karen worries that he is actually putting in too much hard work.  Daniel and Bear invest in an electric car for The Mill.  How exciting.  Not.

Daniel struggles with a temptation to gamble and feels shut out of his kids’ pre-Christmas plans as Adam continues to sweep Zara and Joe off their feet.  I don’t feel sorry for him.

Eastenders – Wife Swap!

Louise is worried about Lisa’s mental health as she remains convinced that Sharon bumped Mel off.  I mean, I totally understand where she’s coming from but actually, after all of Sharon’s bad behaviour, she really did tried to save the woman!

In his wisdom, Mick organises The Queen Vic Wife Swap as part of his attempt to win the Best Pub in London, which I think is actually a pretty good storyline.  I hold my hands up.  I love that show!  So, the game involves Mick and Linda swapping with Max and Ruby.  Iqra and Ash swapping with Adam and Honey.  Kat and Kush swapping with Patrick and Sheree.  And thanks to a bit of cheating on Gray’s part, he and Chantelle swap with Mitch and Karen.

When Linda gets caught accidentally smashing into the Playground Bitch’s car and driving away, the police are called and it turns out she is over the legal alcohol limit, meaning she is arrested and charged with drunk driving.  Mick finds out and after she’s given a fine and a ban, an inevitable argument ensues.  She storms off to Max’s where she gets so drunk that she passes out on the couch.  At the Vic, meanwhile, Ruby and Mick get on like a house on fire and she especially bonds with Ollie.  A few people have suggested an affair but I would hope that they wouldn’t repeat the Whitney storyline.  I mean, it would be almost carbon copy.  But anyway, Ruby is too busy getting it on with Martin.  Yes, really.  Do these people have any kind of loyalty?

While Kat can barely keep up with Patrick, Karen is having a lovely time with Gray (who is as moody and two faced as ever).  However, he is genuinely kind to Bailey when Mitch lets her down on a father/daughter evening.  The hurt from Chantelle is crystal clear – Mitch has let her down in the same way so many times before and she obviously feels very protective of Bailey because of it.  Thankfully, Mitch does do his best to make things right.  He’s a nice guy but fundamentally selfish.

Adam and Iqra endure and awkward dinner, exploding into a huge row when Iqra reads (and replied to!) a text revealing that Adam is sleeping with yet another random woman.  Meanwhile, it takes Ash about ten seconds to spot that Honey has an eating disorder and her kindness and support creates a genuine safe space for Honey to open up to her about her low self-esteem.  Please let this storyline mean that Ash and Iqra will help Honey out of this awful relationship she is in with Adam!  Please!  We want our amazing Honey back!

Ian continues his desperate bid to become a local counsellor.  Emphasis on desperate.  And it looks like Eastenders are about to hook Billy up with Karen just in time for Honey to become single.  Of course they are.

Emmerdale – Get Them to the Church on Time!

Kim announces to the whole pub, including Rhona that she and Graham are actually married!  He responds by telling her the truth about Millie’s paternity, which Andrea denies.  He also tells Rhona the truth about Millie and his life with Kim in a bid to be completely honest with her and make their relationship work.  While he asks Kim for a divorce, Andrea announces she is pregnant.  Also, the whole family move to the B&B without explanation.

Charity meddles in Pete and Tracey’s love life and eventually manages to get them back together, earning herself a ‘romantic’ reward from Vanessa!

Jacob drops the charges against Liam and attempts to make things right with Leanna.  In a bid to eradicate Maya from his life, Jacob accepts a counselling referral.

Bernice and Liam enjoy their hen and stag nights, in some excellent scenes involving both groups singing ‘Get Me to the Church on Time’.  Unfortunately, things go wrong when Dee Dee takes a call informing her that her father has been in a terrible car accident and is in critical condition.  After she berates her mother for never having been there for her the way her father has been, Bernice makes the decision to go to Australia immediately with her daughter, aware that it won’t be a short trip.  Backing out of telling Liam or Gabby the truth, Bernice is heartbroken to cancel/postpone the wedding and leave the country.

Al labels Billy as his attacker when in actual fact, he’s in some serious trouble with loan sharks, as Dawn discovers.  Things remain tense between Cain, Moira and Nate, especially when Nate announces he has taken over the lease of the farm next door.

Hollyoaks – Who Shot Mercedes?

Mercedes wakes up and identifies Sylver as the shooter.  He is arrested and charged with attempted murder, turning him into a raging bull behind bars.  Having rejected Grace in favour of his wife before Mercedes turned on him, he quickly has to eat humble pie in order to get some sort of help, especially as his own supposedly devoted mother has turned against him.  Well, I guess she’s not that devoted.  She let him go to jail for a murder that she committed when he was just a kid!

Thankfully, Grace really is sweet on Sylver and does her best to help, talking to Mercedes and discovering that she knows her husband isn’t responsible but wants revenge for his ‘affair’.  To be fair, Mercedes, you’ve been running around with Liam for months!  I don’t think what Sylver did even compares!  However, Grace makes a good point – while Mercedes has Sylver locked away for a crime he didn’t commit, the real person who presumably wants her dead is still out there, free to strike again.

At the news of Sylver’s arrest, Diane looks pretty darn shifty…

It’s an awkward day when both Damon and Maxine return to Hollyoaks Village – him from prison and her from America.  He ignores her apologies and in fact, demands the engagement ring back!  He is also a little bewildered when Liberty hits on him, as are we all, not least because she is trying to get pregnant and pass off the baby as Sienna and Brody’s.  I mean, come on!

Sienna takes Sid under her wing.  She attempts to reconnect him with his step-mother but when they uncover his knife, Alice isn’t interested.  Sienna is keen to foster Sid herself and when she is also keen to push on with the surrogacy, Liberty comes up with the worst plan she’s ever had – she thinks she and Brody should sleep together and pass it off as Sienna’s baby.  If this plot goes ahead, it will be one of the most awful stories Hollyoaks has ever done and it has some stiff competition.

Scott is disappointed when he discovers that Mitchell has actually got rid of his whole flat just to avoid living with him.  The flat is taken over by cool new couple, Toby and Celeste.  While Mandy and Darren fail to impress them, they do make friends with Jesse and Courtney.  I don’t like them.

Luke confesses that he isn’t actually buying the house – Tom is.  However, what he hadn’t banked on was that Tom is going to live there with them and they will have to pay rent!  I mean, great for viewers (possibly), not so great for Luke and Cindy!  Luke fails to convince Darren that his scans have come back clear when his symptoms continue.

Home and Away – Christmas at Summer Bay House

Home and Away is on its Christmas Break until January 2020.  Instead, on My5, there is a Christmas themed behind the scenes episode every Monday, hosted by Jason Smith who played Robbie Hunter between 2003 and 2006.

In Episode One, we go to Summer Bay House with Ray Meagher (Alf Stewart), Emily Symons (Marilyn Chambers), Lynne McGranger (Irene Roberts), Ada Nicodemou (Leah Patterson-Baker), Georgie Parker (Roo Stewart), Shane Withington (John Palmer) and Lukas Radovich (Ryder Jackson).

They discuss Christmas in Summer Bay with the odd clip, past cliff-hangers, including the time that John had a brain tumour and became the Summer Bay arsonist (apparently based on a real life story), when Marilyn got electrocuted and lost her memory, the amount of disasters that have befallen poor Leah such as bus crashes, plane crashes and a couple of comas, Alf getting caught up in an explosion at the school and Roo in an explosion at the caravan park plus Ryder and Raffy getting stuck in a tunnel.

What do the cast want for their characters for Christmas?

Emily/Marilyn:            A new handbag!

Lukas/Ryder:               A surfboard!

Georgie/Roo:              Too private to say on camera! (or a four wheel drive)

Ray/Alf:                       A friendlier personality!

Lynne/Irene:                A bedroom instead of a cupboard to sleep in!

Shane/John:                 A gift card (for a hardware store)

Ada/Leah:                    A new outfit or a holiday

Lukas takes the camera behind the scenes during filming around the caravan park and reveals that the sign directing people to the beach is misleading at the beach is actually nowhere nearby.  He also reveals that the caravan park is due to be part of a big story soon (I think it’s already aired in Australia – a storyline between Ryder and a new girl called Jade).

They all speak exceptionally highly of each other and Georgie particularly mentions the crew.  They discuss Alf’s rekindled love with his first wife, Martha who was supposed to be dead and how much they love working with her.  Then Belinda Giblin (Martha Stewart) appears!  The cast all send the viewers some lovely messages for Christmas.

What do the cast want for their character for the New Year?

Emily/Marilyn:            A handbag dog and another foster child

Ada/Leah:                    Another wedding!

Shane/John:                 To win some money!

Georgie/Roo:              A family trip to Europe

Ray/Alf:                       Happiness with Martha

Neighbours – David’s Down!

Prue uses her new knowledge of Terese falling off the wagon to persuade Harlow to move back to the UK with her, blackmailing Terese into backing her in the move being a good idea.  Between that and Terese and Paul being too busy for Harlow, she decides to give her mother another chance, only for the truth about her allegiance to The Order to be discovered at the last minute.  Faced with a choice between The Order and her daughter, Prue leaves without Harlow, who returns home to Paul and Terese. 

Ned begs Aaron not to reveal the truth about the fight club for fear that he will be in trouble with the law.  Well, yes, probably.  However, he does tell David eventually, causing a big row between the Street’s best couple.  David storms out only to be hit by a car and knocked off his bike!  Terese, who has sneaked out to get more booze from the off licence discovers David on the ground and calls for help, prompting the whole family to rush to the hospital.  David is critical but survives, minus a kidney.  And the other needs a transplant.  The lesson here is to never storm out of an argument!

At the hospital, Terese confesses to Paul why she was even out that night, admitting that she has been drinking again.  While Paul does support Terese, for a moment, he cannot help but wonder if she hit David.  Terese promises that she didn’t and it’s an extremely sweet scene when Harlow overhears them talking and very simply offers full faith in Terese.  It’s a shame then when she realises that Prue was blackmailing her into sending her back to the UK in a bid to keep her drinking quiet.  Terese asks Susan to be her sponsor now that she doesn’t have Sonya anymore.  Nope.  Still not over it.

But the big shock comes when Amy notices a busted headlight on her van, which Kyle had been driving the night before.  He admits that he fell asleep at the wheel – at the same time and location as David’s accident.  He is horrified to realise that he is responsible for hitting David and immediately hands himself into the police.