Month: December 2019

Soap Blog: Monday 16th to Sunday 22nd December 2019

Coronation Street

After just one night, Gemma and Chesney are weighed down by the responsibility of their four new babies.  However, the one resource they fail to utilise is Rita who is absolutely crippled with loneliness and would love to be included in helping them.

Robert is outraged at Michelle’s plans to sell the Bistro but he has bigger problems when the police zone in on him.  They have discovered that his SatNav took him to the woods on the night that Vicky disappeared, which he denies.  Concluding that Michelle must have taken his van that night, Robert accuses her of killing Vicky but Peter and Carla walk in on him threatening her, which does not help his case.  The next thing he knows, Robert is charged with GBH, a stack of evidence against him: witnesses heard them having an argument, he has a scratch on his face, the house was bleached clean, there is blood evidence both in the house and in his van and now his SatNav shows that he went to the woods after he argued with Vicky.

However, what the police don’t know is that during Robert’s most recent argument with Michelle, she slipped up and mentioned the woods, something she shouldn’t know about.  And in one of the most obvious plots ever, while Robert is being charged and held in custody, she heads off to a hotel to update Vicky of Robert’s arrest, who is hiding out and very much alive!  The plan is to sell the Bistro and share the profits.

Things go south, however, when Vicky goes into premature labour.  It’s a tender moment when Michelle acts as midwife and helps Vicky bring her son into the world.  And it’s even sweeter when Michelle puts her own plan aside to call an ambulance, looking out for the welfare of Vicky and the baby and she is taken to hospital.  Of course, that means that Vicky is no longer ‘dead’ and Robert is off the hook for her murder.  Released from custody, Robert attempts to see his son but Vicky is long gone, leaving Robert to confront oddly repentant Michelle.

Kirk kindly donates his football t-shirt and scarf to Roy so that he can enjoy some quality time with his brother.  James also gives him a signed football programme.  But when Roy has to leave him to sort out a disaster at the café and the carer doesn’t show up in his place, Richard ends up collapsing and dying alone.  While Roy is furious with the care team, Nina directs the blame at Roy’s door.  While Roy continues to reach out to Nina, even paying two month’s rent for her, Nina continues to out the world.

Tim finally confesses the truth to horrified Sally that he is already married after a drunken mistake in Vegas.  Gary gives Ryan the chance to work off his debt, which is obviously not going to end well.  Michael creates an entire Winter Wonderland on the Street with his Dad but Grace fails to bring their daughter along to enjoy it.

Gary gets wind of Derek’s plan to get a quick sale for the factory and demands that he buy it from him.  For a pound.  He has no choice but to agree.  Hope ruins the school Nativity and continues to reject Fiz, reaching out to Jade on the phone.

Doctors

Emma arrives at the station, pledging her full support to spikey Zara as they both try to come to terms with the truth of who Gareth really is and what he is capable of.  Zara cannot accept support from Adam who obviously looks exactly the same as her attacker.  Unable to stay with Emma where Gareth has been living or stay with Adam, Zara returns home alone absolutely broken.

Daniel is heartbroken to learn of what has happened to Zara.  He offers his full support to her when she bravely faces work the next day, which clueless Valerie takes the wrong way.  She then faces the prospect of ending things with Adam, unable to disassociate him from his brother.  Daniel breaks the news to Joe.  Is the beginning of Zara and Daniel getting back together?  I would hope that the show wouldn’t rush the story in light of what has happened but I would assume this is where we’ll be heading in 2020.

Tempted to gamble after a bad day, Daniel takes himself off to rather shoddy Gambler’s Anonymous meeting.  But it’s a good job that he’s there as the man running it, who seems like he is suffering from severe OCD as much as a gambling addiction, has taken an overdose and needs to be rushed to hospital!

A man named Trevor Evans tracks Jimmi down to The Icon, holding a grudge for being sent to prison based on his medical testimony.  He hangs around the bar all day, intimidating him until Jimmi threatens to call the police.  I suspect we haven’t seen the last of him…  And seems likely that he is connected to the shock of the week when Jimmi is suddenly arrested for drug dealing and a huge amount of heroin is found in the boot of his car!  While at first it looks like it will all be sorted out quickly as the idea that Dr Jimmi Clay could be a dealer is quite frankly, preposterous, very quickly, he is arrested and charged and then breaks his bail conditions when he confronts a witness who claims he regularly sees him dealing in a car park.  Well done, Jimmi!

While Rob rules out Trevor as the person behind the obvious set up, people accuse Valerie of gossiping.  However, she makes it clear that she is genuinely concerned about her friend and colleague and has noticed that Bear is not, leading Daniel to discover an old and somewhat ridiculous grudge he has against the medic.  I’ve been suspicious of Bear for a while but is it weak storytelling or is there more to it?  Enough to put one of the nicest guys in soap behind bars?  We’ll find out in the New Year, I suppose!

In celebration of Christmas, Emma helps Al host the cocktail night that Gareth had organised.  It doesn’t start off terribly well, with Emma breaking down and confiding in Ayesha what happened to Zara.  But Valerie takes over as Queen of the Cocktails and everyone has a lot of drunken fun.  Hurrah!  With all the darkness going on the moment with Zara’s trauma and now Jimmi’s wrongful arrest, they need a bit of light in Letherbridge at the moment!

Eastenders

Phil is determined to put a literal end to Jack, incorrectly believing that he has got Sharon pregnant.  I mean, I know he’s got previous with the Mitchell Blondes but still…  He stops short of running him over when Jack is suddenly joined by his kids in the road.  Ben desperately tries to get his Dad to think more clearly about his decisions but I don’t think it’s worked as by the end of Monday’s episode, Phil is brandishing a gun.  By the next episode, he has the poor bloke tied up and beaten unconscious at the bottom of the pit in The Arches.  By the time Ben and Keanu rescue him, he has already poured petrol on him.  Dragging him out of the pit, Phil is still not done but the boys finally manage to talk him out of shooting him.  Jack is adamant that he did not sleep with Sharon or father her child, leaving Phil determined to find out who did and forces Ben to stick with him on the plan to end whoever did.  All I can say is, watch out, Keanu… watch out!

Callum witnesses Ben returning bloodied and broken Jack back to his house and while Jack agrees to leave things as the Mitchells owing him a favour, Callum demands answers from Ben.  When Ben refuses to tell his boyfriend anything, wanting to protect him, Callum opens his heart and declaring his love.  Clearly also in love with Callum but scared of him getting hurt (I mean, look what happened when he was in love with Paul), Ben closes himself off and breaks up with him.  It’s at least temporarily the end of Ballum.  So sad.

Sonia kindly persuades Kush to let Martin have some quality time with his son.  The three of them spend the day at the Christmas Fair, which of course leads to Martin attempting to kiss Sonia because nobody in soap can ever just be mates.  Sonia pulls away but later confides in Tina (who else would she choose?) that she thinks she is still in love with him.  Well, that’s going to work out well when Lacey Turner (Stacey) gets back from her maternity leave, isn’t it?

There is an error at the undertakers and to be honest, I’m not sure whose error it is, with two bodies going to the opposite places.  But Stuart fixes it and saves the day (with newly returned Rainie’s help) and scores himself a permanent job with Jay.  Stuart then decides an insane Christmas display at a funeral home is absolutely appropriate.  Yes, really.

Honey is feeling out of place and out of sorts since leaving Adam and finding that Billy has moved on with Karen, who has made herself right at home with the kids.  The two women disagree about Janet participating in the beauty pageant and Honey objects to Karen doing her hair.  Karen calls her on why she is really so upset.  Well, we all know!  Poor Honey.  However, she does stick to her guns about the pageant, not wanting her daughter to face the same self-esteem issues that began when she was modelling.  If nothing else, I am really enjoying her new friendship with Ash.

The Panesar Brothers reveal to the Slaters that they have bought their house and they will now be evicted, although they will be given until New Year to leave.  Another case of unsound housing law in the East End.  Kat and the oldest brother (I haven’t quite learned their names yet, they’re too annoying but I’m sure I’ll get used to them), seem to reach a compromise but then it all goes wrong when the new landlords decide to just let themselves in the property and the Slaters respond by barricading themselves in.  But not before Kush spots Daniel at the hospital.  He begs him to contact Jean, who is struggling without him but Daniel won’t be persuaded.

Mitch accidentally agrees to write the autism friendly panto for the Queen Vic but of course, is unable to complete the task so with amusing legal advice from Gray, Bailey steps in and takes over.  Mick asks the school Mums to come and be part of the fun but they unkindly refuse, not because of Ollie but because of Linda’s drinking.  The panto is a genuine hit and Ollie is the cutest little polar bear I’ve ever seen.

Emmerdale

Moira is distraught when Cain refuses to let her spend Christmas Day with her sons.  Amy is also horrified when she overhears Cain warning Kyle that Nate is a bad man and he should always stay away from him.  Good parenting can always be witnessed amongst the Dingles!  Cain is furious when the Dingle clan begin to welcome Nate into the fold.  He makes it clear that the family need to choose between him and Nate.  Obviously they choose Cain, which upsets Nate.  He storms out in a rather threatening manner.  Oops.  Well, he is Cain’s son, I suppose!  While Moira rather gleefully informs Nate that he will never be accepted amongst the Dingles.

He tries to communicate with Cain who rejects him in favour of searching for Aaron, who has gone missing after Robert sends Victoria a letter and she and Liv attempt to keep it from him (and the letter doesn’t so much as mention him).  The Dingles all search for Aaron (without Nate) but while out hunting, Liv has a fit all alone.  Wendy finds her and gets her to hospital, leaving Aaron wrought with guilt that he put his little sister in such a vulnerable position.  His response is to engage in a random hook up in a bid to get over Robert and move on with his life.  Yes, I am sure that will work.  I really hope he snaps out of this soon though.  I can’t stand his grumpy little face at the moment.

Rhona is informed that Pierce is up for parole.  It scares her into deciding that she needs to take the job in France.  She cannot even contemplate the idea of having to face the man who raped her ever again.  Compelled by his love for Rhona, Graham forgets his concern that the job has been pushed by Kim and agrees to the move.  I know this whole thing is going to go epically wrong but for now, I do think that the way Graham loves Rhona and wants to protect her is very sweet.  Unfortunately, she backs out of telling Marlon her plans.

Nobody has time for Noah.  Charity and Vanessa are too busy with their lives, the younger kids, monitoring Sarah and that horrible Danny boy and their own relationship.  What they haven’t noticed is that Sarah has been delving into the world of drugs with that horrible Danny and that Noah is desperately worried about her but is also worried about being a snitch.  He does take the drugs away from her, only to be caught with them by Graham who confiscates them.  But when he is left with nobody to talk to, Noah finds one remaining pill and takes it himself.

Andrea and Jamie decide to wait before trying for another baby.  Jacob and Leanna begin to rekindle their friendship but this time in a happier and healthier way.  Leyla battles her feelings for Liam during panto rehearsals and Kim comes on board as the wicked landowner.  Pete and Tracey decide to just stay friends.

Hollyoaks

Mitchell lets Scott down again when he fails to come out and tell his family about their relationship.  In a bid to make things right, Mitchell and Scott spend the whole day together and when they bump into Azim, Mitchell comes out to him and then decides that it’s time to come out to his family.  Well, time will tell about that…  But the romantic scene does complete to a lovely rendition of ‘Finally’.

Alas, everything goes wrong the next day when not only does Mitchell back out of coming out but he panics when he loses a photo reel of him and Scott together.  Witnessing his sheer panic at the idea that someone might find evidence of them as a couple, Scott has finally had enough of the hiding, secrecy and shame.  He doesn’t want to be Mitchell’s dirty little secret anymore.  The next day, Mitchell is jealous when he mistakenly thinks that Scott has moved on with Azim, who encourages Scott to understand things from Mitchell’s perspective.  Scott realises the pressure Mitchell has on his shoulders and doesn’t want to add more by forcing him to come out.  However, after his suicide attempt, he also cannot live a life where he is ashamed of himself.  Their relationship is over.  Martine offers her son unwavering support, although she doesn’t know the full facts.

James and Liam team up for their ‘protection’ business and attempt to intimidate Mercedes into signing up.  Refusing but scared, it’s Bobby’s Christmas list, where all he wants is his Dad’s return, that pushes Mercedes to change her statement and set Sylver free.  However, she is in for a big shock when she discovers that he has been lying to her – he doesn’t love her anymore and he wants to be a family with Grace and Bobby.  Sylver cannot forgive his mother for her betrayal.  She in turn, turns on her daughter in law who is left a complete and utter broken mess.  I have always championed Mercedes, even at her worst.  She is one of the best soap characters in history.  But I think it’s right that her world implodes so that she can start again afresh.  She needs this.

James is alarmed when Liam plans to smash up the pub in order to pressure Mercedes to sign up to their protection scheme.  They are interrupted by Mercedes herself who decides to try and win Liam back.  She is shocked beyond the telling of it when she realises that he is now hooking up with James!  While the boys make fun of Mercedes’ desperation and that she got shot, it’s quite clear to the observant viewer that deep down, Liam still does have feelings for his ex.

That night, Grace and James bump into each other, Grace discovering that James is now sleeping with her brother.  Liam then overhears the pair of them quietly but smugly remarking over the truth of what happened to Mercedes – they both shot her.  In a flashback, we see that Grace fired the first shot and missed.  James then appears behind her and steadies the gun so they are able to shoot her together.

Liam confronts his sister and his boyfriend (?!) about shooting Mercedes.  While Grace attempts to defend herself over how much Mercedes hurt her, James is unrepentant, explaining that he was intent on revenge for Harry.  He also reminds Liam of his own guilt and the role he played in Harry’s death, which prompts Liam to break down in tears and a little bit of bad acting.  Liam reveals that he found Mercedes in the club after she had been shot but he ran away, taking the gun with him, scared that he would be accused of the crime.  He even burnt his clothes to hide any evidence that he had been there.  Armed now with the knowledge of who shot her, Liam is determined to tell Mercedes the truth.  Grace and Liam do everything they can to persuade him not to.  Grace is also desperate for Sylver not to find out, not wanting her new little family to be destroyed.  Ignoring them, Liam and Mercedes admit that their feelings for each other were real.  James interrupts Mercedes asking for a second chance.  Liam struggles to make a choice between them.  He chooses James and the three of them revel in their success at defeating Mercedes and getting a second chance of survival.  Meanwhile, Mercedes has bigger problems as Breda gathers together DNA to ‘prove’ that she is a serial killer!

On Christmas Day, Walter gathers together as many locals as possible to attend church where he gives an impassioned sermon on the importance of family, praising his own family members on how amazing they are.  In the back, Daphne and Celeste, sorry, Toby and Celeste seethe as he tells the locals what a wonderful mother Martine is to her son, Mitchell.  So… we finally know who her mystery child is: Toby!  That’s the big reveal.  I’m disappointed, to be honest.  They’ve only been here for five minutes and they’re already annoying me.  And I heard a rumour that Martine’s secret child was actually Blessing (remember her?)  Now that would have been a good story.  Anyway, Celeste stops Toby from confronting his mother and by the end of the Christmas episode, we see that it was actually them that stole Mitchell and Scott’s photo.  They clearly have plans for the family and judging by their boring storyline with Jesse, the whole village.  I’m sure it will be utterly thrilling.  I don’t apologise for my sarcasm.  Consider it a Christmas present.

Liberty’s pregnancy test is positive, creating what should be the happiest day of Sienna’s life.  Filled with Christmas spirit and inspired by Walter’s sermon, she invites Maxine and Minnie to dinner, pushing Maxine and Damon together.  He cannot trust her when he finds her taking cold medication but actually, she is freezing at home so probably does have a cold.  Sienna tests out a new plot device, I mean, drone and overhears her boyfriend and her sister discussing their infidelity and resultant pregnancy.  For a secret, they really do discuss it openly a lot.  I mean, a lot!  Sienna loses the plot, of course and is rescued by Martine who calms her down and suggests that she plays along.  Otherwise, she loses everything, including the baby.

Luke finally tells his family about FTD and Nana does a fabulous Queen’s Speech.

Home and Away: The Surf Club

Home and Away is on its Christmas Break until January 2020.  Instead, on My5, there is a Christmas themed behind the scenes episode every Monday, hosted by Jason Smith who played Robbie Hunter between 2003 and 2006.

The Surf Club has always played a central role in Home and Away and is a communal area for family and friendship for all the characters.  In this episode, we meet Rohan Nichol (Ben Astoni), Sophie Dillman (Ziggy Astoni), Patrick O’Connor (Dean Thompson) but Kestie Morassi (Maggie Astoni) is unfortunately absent.  Later, Lukas Radovich (Ryder Jackson) and Shane Withington (John Palmer) join the group.

Patrick and Sophie, who are a couple in real life, discuss their relationship on the show, including Ziggy’s previous marriage to Brody before her friendship with Dean developed into love.  They are described as ‘Summer Bay’s Hottest Couple’.  I don’t think I agree (Willex, anyone?) but I do like them paired up.  They talk about filming the rally where they finally got together and how it was so hot that the cameras were literally melting!

Rohan discusses Ben’s wrongful arrest and how it led to a longer mental health storyline, which he felt flattered to be trusted with as it was such an important story to tell.  He discusses the wider reaching story of what happens to a person’s loved ones, in this case Ziggy and Maggie, when someone is suffering from depression and the helplessness they go through when trying to support them.  He and Shane talk about the strength of friendship in the Bay and how people supported Ben and how that support is returned to John when he is in need, although they didn’t always get along.  This friendship spills over into the friendship between Shane and Rohan who share a dressing room.

Lukas and Patrick also share a dressing room and seem to get up to a lot of mischief!  Ryder really looks up to Dean on the show.  Lukas requested that Dean teach Ryder how to surf, which is leading to an upcoming storyline involving a girl who will potentially stir up some trouble for Dean and Ziggy!  (I think this is a new character called Jade).

Do the cast prefer a White or Beach Christmas?

White Christmas:        Rohan and Lukas

Beach Christmas:        Sophie, Patrick, Shane

Sophie meets a tour bus of fans and joins them as they explore Palm Beach where the cast are filming.  She takes pictures with them and chats to them, eager to find out who their favourite characters are.  There are lots of people from the UK!  I really want to do this one day!  And go to the Neighbours set.  Not that I’ve ever visited any of the available soap sets in the UK…

What do the cast want for their characters in the New Year?

Rohan/Ben:     Peace and quiet and perhaps a new hobby

Sophie/Ziggy:  More work as a mechanic

Neighbours

Having made a very weak excuse to Paul and Terese, Roxy and Harlow head off to the prison to meet Robert who is reasonable and creepy all at the same time.  He cleverly gleans as much information from Harlow about Paul and their home life as he can without her even noticing and agrees to be tested to be a donor as soon as she mentions that Paul would do anything for David.  So… this is the big Christmas story then!  Psycho Robert. 

Back at home, Harlow and Roxy decide to keep their day trip a secret but Paul is already suspicious.  When Robert passes stage one and two, Harlow tells Paul and Terese the truth.  Her Granddad is not happy but with David in severe danger of death – the infection has taken over, his kidneys and liver are all failing and he now needs to be fed through a tube – he and Terese have no choice but to go and see his son.  Robert agrees to donate his kidney in return for Paul assisting him with moving to a lower security prison nearer to Erinsborough so that he can have more access to Harlow.  Well, this is going to end well, isn’t it?  I mean, if only someone else was a match.  Roxy, I’m talking to you!!!

Claudia buys tickets to The Nutcracker for herself, Finn and Bea only for Finn to overthrow his girlfriend for Elly on the basis that Elly and Claudia need to spend more time together.  With Bea really disappointed, Susan buys them both tickets as well to push Bea and Finn back together again.  She also tells Finn off for side lining his girlfriend.  Just like Susan, Claudia is onto him.  Backed into a corner, Finn admits to his mother that he has feelings for Elly.  And quite frankly, I am so disappointed.  I love the journey that Finn and Bea have been on together.  Has someone at Neighbours gone through a bad time or something and now feels the need to destroy every relationship?  They killed Sonya, they let Elly and Chloe last all of an episode, they broke up Ned and Yashvi, Dipi and Shane wouldn’t stop fighting, Kyle and Amy are heading for disaster, David is half dead, Finn fancies his girlfriend’s sister.  If they dare touch Karl and Susan…!

Anyway, conniving Claudia goes right to Elly with her information but Elly insists there is nothing between them and Finn is furious when he finds out what his mother has done.  Claudia is unrepentant and eager to push her last remaining son and the mother of her grandchild together.  We also finally solve the mystery of who set fire to his records before the trial!  Claudia!  But rather than this proving her love for him, Finn is horrified by the callousness Claudia has shown and demands that she leave.  When oblivious Bea asks her to stay, she tells her that Finn and Elly have feelings for each other.  Oh dear.  This is not helped when Bea returns home to find Finn and Elly mucking around with a new baby sling.  They do their best to allay her concerns and Finn goes to enormous effort to show his girlfriend just how much he loves her.  When she makes him a phot album of their relationship, he finally dumps the one of him and Elly, although I suspect this storyline is far from over…

Chloe gets the promo for the Sonya Rebecchi Foundation Concert all wrong, upsetting Toadie but she manages to turn things around.  Toadie admits that he is struggling with the idea of facing his first Christmas without Sonya.  We all are, Toadie.  We all are.

Amy begins to fret that she cannot reach Jimmy in New York.  When she gets word that her son is actually missing, Kyle awkwardly has to confess that he had been told that Jimmy was going through a rough patch and tried to talk to him but when he gave him some attitude, they had words and he hasn’t been able to get in touch with him since.  Amy immediately blames Kyle and shuts him out of any effort in trying to find her son.  Then when Jimmy shows up at the house, a completely different person to the lovely boy he used to be, uncommunicative and a thief as soon as Amy’s back is turned, she also refuses to let Kyle help work out what’s going on with him.  I just object to this story so much.  It’s like the show has completely changed Kyle’s personality, Kyle and Amy’s relationship and now Kyle and Jimmy’s relationship.  The way Kyle is behaving is the way Gary would behave, not thoughtful, kind Kyle.  I understand they’re gearing up for Amy’s exit but I don’t know why they have to do it this way.  Why bother getting us all invested in them back together if this was the plan all along?  It’s all wrong, I tell you!  Wrong!

Soap Blog: Monday 9th – Sunday 15th December 2019

Coronation Street

Maria is living in denial this week when she is literal told the bare truth about Gary’s crimes and yet refuses to believe it.  She starts the week by revealing to Gary that she’s pregnant and the pair of them get completely swept up with the idea of moving in together and starting a family.  He even buys her a car.  Worried and also rather jealous, Ali confronts Maria with the truth about Gary’s life as a loan shark and complete with her discovery that her stupid handbag isn’t really a fake, Maria does confront Gary with her suspicions.  However, the slimy rat somehow manages to explain everything away and the silly idiot somehow believes him.  I mean, boring Ali isn’t exactly a better option but still… with her wealth of experience with terrible men, you’d have thought Maria would be a little choosier by now!

Speaking of terrible men, Geoff returns home from Las Vegas with poor Yasmeen and somehow, he has manipulated and bullied her into marrying him.  I mean, we didn’t witness it but I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened.  Because he is one of the vilest characters that soap has ever seen.  I absolutely hate this storyline.  But I love it for its purpose and importance and education.  It is absolutely breaking my heart and I hope that everyone is learning a lesson from it.

Anyway, aside from the utter stupidity of Tim suddenly discovering that Las Vegas weddings are in fact legal and legitimate (has he never watched Friends?!), meaning that his current marriage to Sally is null and void, we are now stuck with the horror of our Yasmeen being legally bound to Geoff.  His first port of call is to begin driving as big a wedge between her and Alya as he possibly can, sniping at her for apparently staying the night at the house without permission and accusing her of not being happy for them.  Eventually, he manages to persuade her to stay away from the celebration party, explaining that it’s for Yasmeen’s own good but then tells his new wife that Alya was rude to him and didn’t want to come.  The party is generally successful apart from Sally being handed a glass with a lipstick mark on it and Cathy finding a small piece of crab shell in her food.  Minor incidents, one would think.  Not in Yasmeen’s situation.  Things become very dark after the party when Geoff lashes out at her, attempting to force her to eat a discarded crab shell.  It’s horrific viewing, with Yasmeen backed against the wall, looking genuinely frightened of her new husband as he warns her not to make such a mistake again.  I’m sure I wasn’t alone as I begged her to reach out and seek help.

Meanwhile, Robert is the Street’s least popular resident and finds himself arrested for assault, backed up with blood evidence from the house and his van.  Daniel gets drunk and falls into the road in front of poor Cathy’s car.  Then he decides to prove he can grow facial hair.  While Rita continues to feel like a lonely spare part, Gemma and Chesney bring all four babies home.  Tim thinks he can solve the mess he’s in by proposing to Sally.  Yes, confirming your fake marriage.  That will help!

Doctors

It’s a very dark week in Letherbridge as we finally discover the truth about Gareth.  He fails to get his job back and the complaint against him is escalated as he is quite rightfully accused of drug abuse, specifically cocaine.  Well, that would explain stealing from the till at The Icon and all the money he has been gladly accepting from hapless Emma.  He decides to solve his problems by taking more cocaine and is caught out by Emma who is so desperate for love and also caught up in this weird competition she’s having with Zara that she gets over her horror and forgives him, determined to get him help to overcome his addictions.

In the meantime, Gareth has an argument with Adam who is on his way back to see Zara who is getting herself very excited (and undressed) and ready for her boyfriend’s return.  He has great news – he has been granted a prestigious award and is eager to tell his brother all about it.  But Gareth, who let’s face it must be the disappointing child in the family, takes his brother’s achievement as a sign of showing off.  He abandons Emma and heads round to Zara’s house where she understandable mistakes him for Adam and drags him off to the bedroom.  He doesn’t correct her, eager to take her for himself and therefore take her away from Adam.  Thankfully, Zara realises her mistake pretty quickly but Gareth is intent on getting what he wants.  In some pretty horrific scenes, especially for daytime telly, Gareth attempts to rape Zara who fights back spectacularly.  She stabs him in the leg with her six inch heels and locks him in her bedroom, running downstairs to call the police.  She refuses to be treated like a victim when he escapes and the police, led by Rob give chase, although it’s clear that she is very shaken.  It will take her a long time to recover from this, I think and I also think it’s a safe bet that her relationship with Adam is dead in the water.  For starters, he looks identical to Gareth.  And secondly, his instinct was to play the hero and capture him rather than to comfort her.  Cue Zara and Daniel getting back together?

While Gareth remains unrepentant in his cell, both The Icon and Emma’s house are searched for cocaine and Jimmi misses his chance to break the news gently to Emma over what has happened.

In other news, Karen is delighted to learn that it wasn’t actually her who was speeding in the Pool Car, it was Valerie and wastes no time in breaking the news to her.  Well, to be fair, Valerie has been less than gracious about the whole thing.  Bear gets tested for dyslexia and decides to treat it as a superpower instead of a disability.  Excellent!

Eastenders

Phil finally grows suspicious of the baby’s paternity but gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks that Jack might be the father of the baby, recalling that once upon a time, he and Sharon nearly got married.  Oh yes, that time she wore a really strange black wedding dress.  I remember.

With the walls closing in around her, Sharon tells Lisa everything, banking on the fact that if she knows it’s actually Keanu that’s the father, she won’t ruin Louise’s life by telling the truth.  This backfires, however and Lisa rushes to the hospital more determined than ever to spill the beans.  After some quite hilarious birth scenes thanks to some excellent one liners from Louise, baby Peggy Melanie Taylor (fabulous tribute to Dame Barbara Windsor) is born.  Lisa continuously tries to find a moment to tell Louise the truth but is interrupted when baby Peggy suddenly stops breathing.  By the time she is stable again, Lisa gives up, deciding that Louise deserves her happy ending with Keanu and the baby.  She tells Phil that she made a mistake.  I suspect that this is not over.  I mean, Christmas is only round the corner everyone…!

Louise is released from hospital and everything looks like it’s all going to be fine for the Mitchell and Taylor clan at last.  Phil is even behaving like Scrooge after he has been visited by the Christmas Ghosts.  That is, until he catches Sharon out in her lie about having been at Dennis’s parents’ evening when she should have been at the hospital (she was visiting Lisa).  When he casually questions her, she lies again and this time, everything slots into place (apart from the actual paternity of the baby, which he still thinks is Jack).  This theory isn’t helped by sending Ben round to see Jack and him finding the necklace that Sharon lent to Linda for court, which she must have left there when she passed out after a night drinking with Max.  So, we’re definitely on course for a big Christmas Mitchell Showdown then!  Excellent.

Weirdo Leo is alarmed when his mother shows up in Walford, having got wind of his location and likely his intentions.  She clearly knows exactly what sort of man his vile father was, even if he doesn’t believe it and she begs him to come home.  He insists that he has not and will not come into contact with Whitney but when she phones him, he is quickly caught out in a lie.  And he does what any sane person does when caught out in a lie to their mother, beats the living daylight out of her!  In the middle of the Square where apparently nobody even notices.  Then a few hours later, he wanders into the pub to meet Whitney as if nothing even happened.  As you do!  Honestly, the attack just came out of nowhere.  Awful.  Really violent.

Callum continues to be suspicious of Leo, especially when he warns him to stay away.  His fears reignite Tiffany’s concerns.  She phones good old Bianca, demanding to know why she told her to stay away from him at the wedding.  The truth comes tumbling out and it’s a race against time for Tiffany and Callum to track the couple down at a hotel.  I mean, I say that but just FYI, if I was relying on someone to rescue me, the time it took them to arrive, I would not choose Callum and Tiff to be my heroes.  At the hotel, Leo and Whitney have been enjoying a rather intimate time in the shower (yuck!) when Callum and Tiffany finally get through to her on the phone, spelling out to her exactly who she has just slept with.  Leo stops her from making her escape.  He is determined to force her to tell the truth about what happened between her and Tony but struggles to come to terms with the actual truth – that he groomed and abused her.  Hats off to Shona McGarty for her retelling of that particular storyline.  I’m glad that Eastenders have started to put her centre-stage again and they realise how lucky they are to have her.  With the truth having hit him in the face, Leo leaves and rescues his battered mother from the boot of the car and attempts to make friends again.  Funnily enough, she isn’t interested.  Callum and Tiffany finally arrive but Whitney has saved herself.  Her family and friends do their best to look after her the next day and everyone is relieved that Leo is gone.  Except he hasn’t.  The creep is still lurking in the shadows.  Watching.

Ian continues to treat hardworking Ruby like dirt but the final straw comes when she realises that he has been lying to her about granting her a late licence for E20 and then demands that she publicly distances herself from her father.  With the help of Max, she humiliates him at his launch, messing with his speech and defacing his poster.  Oh well.  It couldn’t have happened to a less pompous, selfish, arrogant guy.

Martin has given into the darkness and taken up a new job with Tubbs now that Ben is ‘going straight’ so to speak.  He begins to splash the cash, buying Bex a car and some intensive driving lessons.  On the other hand, he completely loses it with Kat and Kush for sending Arthur away to spend time with Stacey and her new boyfriend.

Emmerdale

Aaron’s stalker-like behaviour continues to frighten Wendy and it leads to a telling off at work from Liam and Manpreet when she thinks he has followed her to work.  Apparently he had just made an appointment.  Chas and Liv are desperately concerned about his behaviour but as it turns out, he is being steered by Victoria who is determined to get Wendy out of the village so she can raise her baby in peace.

One morning, Wendy drives off to work, accidentally leaving her bag on her roof.  Bob chases after her, sending her into sheer panic, thinking that Aaron is hunting her down.  Having been the only person to show her any kindness, he looks after her but questions whether the Village is the right place for her if she is this stressed out.  I predict a Christmas romance…

Meanwhile, Aaron has nabbed Wendy’s keys and let himself into her house, coming face to face with Luke.  They argue, Luke defending his mother despite the fact that he clearly disagrees with her (he really is a nice guy, what a shame it was Lee that Victoria met that night – although, that wouldn’t have been a very good storyline, I suppose!) and begging Aaron to stop his terror campaign against her.  He refuses, of course and smashes up the house.  Liv arrives in time to stop him from smashing Luke up but gets hit in the face in the process.  Ouch.  Afterwards, Luke begs his mother to leave the Village and in front of Aaron, Diane and Victoria, begs her to face reality – Victoria is telling the truth.  Lee was a rapist.

Archie ruins a special moment for Arthur as he is about to put a sentimental decoration on the Christmas Tree in memory of Ashley.  Surprisingly, Arthur’s bullying seems to go down a treat with Nicola’s kids, particularly Angel who cruelly joins in with the taunting.  It gets too much for little Archie who snaps and slaps her, right at the wrong moment as Jimmy sees and grabs him away from his daughter.  Of course this leads to Jai jumping to the wrong conclusion that Jimmy has been hurting his son after all and a huge row ensues.  For a moment, Archie wavers over telling his father and Laurel the truth about why he slapped Angel but Arthur’s presence soon warns him not to.  Have I mentioned how much I object to this storyline?

Arthur persuades Archie to run away and hide in the woods.  Taking him at his word, that night, the little boy does just that, causing chaos and distress in the morning when nobody can find him.  Arthur is sent to school as usual but worried and guilty, he slips away and goes to find Archie himself, bringing him back with a cover story.  Of course, Archie’s disappearing act has yet more consequences for Jimmy – everyone now believes that Archie was so frightened of him that he felt he needed to flee.  Devastated, Jimmy apologises to Archie but Jai is furious and accuses him of child abuse in the middle of the whole pub.  Jimmy insists that he had nothing to do with any bruising and good old Dan is quick to stand up for his friend.  Jai is defensive and hostile when Social Services come knocking.  When pushed to choose between her friends and her partner, Laurel chooses Jai.

Convinced that Graham will find out for himself whether he is Millie’s father or not, Kim sends Andrea, Jamie and Millie away on a short holiday to get them out of the way.  However, the trip is pointless because:

  1. Rhona manages to get a DNA sample from Millie before they leave
  2. They only go away for about 24 hours
  3. Kim doesn’t manage to do anything other than fart arse about and have slightly threatening conversations during their absence.  Oh and she also arranges for Nate to set Rhona up to look like she’s left a gate open at the farm to let some turkeys to escape – wow!

I think Kim of Home Farm has lost her touch since the days of watching Frank Tate die so heartlessly!  Or is she just gathering momentum for the big finish?

Rhona is contacted by an old friend who offers her a job in France.  However, Graham warns him away, believing that he is working for Kim, which he is.  But while Rhona and Graham argue about Graham’s apparent paranoia about Kim and Rhona’s understandable anxiety about violence, Kim warns Rhona’s friend that their deal is off if he cannot persuade both Rhona and Graham to move away.

As if they have read the spoilers for an Eastenders storyline, the villagers decide to put on their own pantomime, carefully putting Leyla and Liam together as a future couple.  It seems like only a week or two ago that Liam was in love with Bernice.  Oh wait…

Oh and a random bloke shows up and everyone instantly recognises him as Ellis even though he looks and sounds absolutely nothing like the Ellis that left a few weeks ago.  Odd.  Also, in some irony, one of his first scenes involves him breaking up a fight and fighting is how the actor who played the previous Ellis got sacked.  And that’s your soap trivia for the week!  You’re welcome!

Hollyoaks

John Paul is quite rightfully appalled to have been brought back to the Village under false pretences and then be faced with having to deal with the boy who raped him when he has spent all these years trying to put that trauma behind him.  He refuses to even engage with Edward and Sally and immediately arranges to return to Singapore.  He bumps into James having a spat with Liam about dealing drugs to Sid, who he found in a right state with Juliet desperately trying to look after him (they have since been separated), casually mentions that he and Craig have split up for the millionth time and is then persuaded to finally get to have his say with Finn before he goes home.

It’s an emotionally charged scene between John Paul, Finn and Diane and all credit the writers, the actors and everyone at Hollyoaks for pulling it off.  I was genuinely upset by the end of it.  The whole repentance storyline for Finn has been hard to deal with over the past few weeks because those of us who watched the original story will know how hideous and brutal it was.  Finn was an absolutely monster.  He bullied and tormented John Paul before eventually raping him, not to mention the mental torture he inflicted on him afterwards.  Then he attempted to rape Nancy.  But now, he genuinely seems to be trying to make up for what he has done.  It’s not like a typical soap story where there is an underlying evil working behind the scenes.  It’s genuine repentance for the most hideous crime and cruelty.  It’s the hardest request for forgiveness.

However, the issue that John Paul really raises in his discussion with Finn and Diane (and Edward, Nancy and Sally when they join them) is that if he truly is sorry for all he has done, he needs to leave the Village because he needs to understand that his presence there is causing people yet more pain.  It’s damaging Diane because of her constant need to protect him.  It’s damaging Nancy because it reminds her every day of what he did to her.  It’s damaging Sally because it reminds her that she wasn’t there to protect her son and it also stops her from seeing him because he can’t visit while Finn lives there.  Returning to the scene of his crime makes his crime continue.

Taking John Paul’s words into account, Finn leaves and sadly, doesn’t say goodbye to Yazz.  Edward, the person that actually is scheming behind everyone’s backs, tells her that Finn was only using her to gain sympathy from people.  He destroys her by informing her that people feel sorry for her now that she is deaf.

James starts out the week trying to punish Liam for his role in Harry’s death and also for selling drugs to Sid.  By the end of the week, they have teamed up together as business partners.  And just as I was musing to myself that they seemed to be a little flirty and I was dismissing it as Liam is one of the most heterosexual men soap has ever seen, they were at it right there in the club office!  Well, there you go then.  Soap wonders never cease to create very interesting pairings!  Two slightly psychotic, power hungry villains, both of whom always want to be in charge all the time, dating.  Or at least sleeping together.  As for poor Sid, he’s now sleeping rough.

Mercedes is left panicked when she finds herself being left notes and is also attacked by some barrels.  She is left in shock however when she realises that it is her own son, Bobby who is tormenting her.  He apologises, explaining that he was just so sure that Sylver is not guilty.  Maintaining to Breda that she is telling the truth about Sylver, Mercedes considers retracting her statement for the sake of her son’s wellbeing.  Breda is being sickeningly nice to Mercedes.  I just don’t trust her.  She is obsessed with Sylver.  There is no way she would abandon him (especially not after having already let him serve her time once) and adopt Mercedes.  Well, not unless she was the shooter…  Then she would sacrifice anyone!

Anyway, more evidence comes to light on Mercedes’ case, casting doubt on Sylver being the culprit.  Some blood has apparently been found at the scene (but has only been mentioned now apparently).  Grace is quick to broadcast this in the pub in front of as many people as possible.  This causes Diane a lot of anxiety as it turns out, the blood is hers.  She went to The Loft that night to confront Mercedes but backed out before they even saw each other.  The police are sceptical of her story until she can provide proof from CCTV at The Hutch.  Edward saw her and called her back and once in The Hutch, they ended up kissing, interrupted by shots being fired, therefore confirming the time that Mercedes was actually shot.  One thing Diane doesn’t mention is that outside, they bumped into Grace.  Aware that at some point people will find out about them anyway, Diane decides to go for it with Edward.

With Bobby pining for Sylver, Mercedes decides to taking him to the prison and bring out her husband’s angry side in front of their son to show him who he really is and that he belongs behind bars.  Firstly, way to mess up your kid a bit more, Mercedes.  Secondly, as if you’d ever be allowed to go and see the man who you say shot you, just like that – and bring your child along!  Anyway, she does attempt to wind him up, as they argue about Grace (who he rejects again despite her fighting for his release) and Liam (who has clearly forgotten all about Mercedes now!) but rather than getting angry, Sylver suddenly realises that it was all a jealous revenge plan and that they still love each other.

Home and Away: Mangrove River

This week, we are with the gang from Mangrove River – Patrick O’Connor (Dean Thompson), Emily Wier (Mackenzie Booth), Tim Franklin (Colby Thorne) and Courtney Miller (Bella Nixon) who is actually well into her twenties and has a degree, something which kind of freaked me out a little as she’s still in school on the show.  I know there are often age gaps on TV but this one seems massive.  Anyway, sadly one of my favourites, Sarah Roberts (Willow Harris) is missing.

The group discuss following in the footsteps of the legendary River Boys Gang and the Braxton Family, although their version of the River Boys is very different.  They talk about their first scenes on the show including recusing Bella from her father and that Colby’s main reason for joining the police force was to find his sister.  They suspect that Ross’s death won’t stay a secret forever.  They discuss Bella’s online grooming storyline.

We see Emily’s audition tape and chemistry test with Tim.  It was always the plan to get Colby and Mac together.  They are very complimentary about each other!  Courtney comments on the fact that Colby was dumped by Chelsea for being a River Boy and then he was dumped by Mac for being a cop.  She thinks that Bella will go to any lengths imaginable to interfere in her brother’s love life but she hopes she will find love herself one day. 

Patrick (who is dating Sophie Dillman (Ziggy Astoni) in real life) is happy with Dean and Ziggy’s relationship and that Dean has some stability in his life now.  They discuss his mental health storyline involving his mother, Karen.

Patrick takes the audience in to the writer’s room to meet various members of staff including Series Producer Lucy Addario, Editor Terry Coombes and Head Writer Louise Bowes.  Apparently it takes about three and a half months to script an episode!  They have twenty freelance writers and ten in-house writers.  They reference a new family coming to the Bay.  (I believe we meet the first member of this family in the Australian Season Finale, which UK viewers will see in February).  I don’t know why there is such a massive gap between episodes in Australia and the UK.  It’s not the same with Neighbours.

What do the cast wish for their characters for the New Year?

Emily/Mac:                 To sort out her relationships with Colby, Dean and Bella

Tim/Colby:                  Romance!

Courtney/Bella:           That she calms down!

Patrick/Dean               A long term relationship with Ziggy

Neighbours

With Hendrix having attempted to run off to Sydney, Pierce manages to catch up with him just in time.  When Pierce decides to cancel the wedding completely, Hendrix agrees to attend, not wanting to ruin Chloe’s special day.  However, after the wedding, he decides not to go on holiday with them or live with them anymore.  Now, I’m not a massive Hendrix fan but it’s nice to see a bit of depth to him at last rather than just a cocky teenager.  We still have yet to see anything deeper than a puddle in Pierce’s personality.  So dull.  The most we have ever got out of him is his explanation that he was basically a sperm donor to create his kids and asked to stay away by his ex-partner but of course Hendrix cannot know that.  But still, I am waiting for some kind of personality to emerge.

Finn’s hopes that his mother has changed and wants to build a relationship with him in the wake of Shaun’s death are dashed when he discovers her intentions over Elly’s baby.  She is convinced that Elly is going to mess up and she wants him to spy on her so that she can be there to swoop in and take over when she does.  He refuses.  Unfortunately, in light of the whole photo album incident, Susan gets the wrong end of the stick when Finn tries to draw Elly and Claudia together so his mother can see how great Elly is.  Well, I say the wrong end of the stick…

Leo flies in from New York to see David, who is struggling to fight an infection.  Leo gets tested to be a donor (he isn’t a match and nor is Roxy who also gets tested).  Kyle, meanwhile decides to use a large portion of his class action money to pay towards Aaron and David’s mortgage.  The boys reluctantly accept and David genuinely forgives Kyle for running him over, knowing it was an accident.  And that’s why David is one of the loveliest characters soap has ever seen.  If they kill him or ruin him in any way, they will not be forgiven.  They already have a black mark against their name for killing Sonya!  I think I’m more upset than Toadie!

Meanwhile, Amy has a pregnancy scare, which from her perspective genuinely is a scare as it seems everything with Kyle since the sex tape scandal and now David’s accident seems to have changed.  While Kyle is eager to start a family with Amy ASAP, she doesn’t feel she is ready at all.  This is such an annoying storyline.  I mean, why put Amy and Kyle back together at long last if they are just going to destroy them?!  They’re not Aaron and David, of course but they’re such a lovely couple.  Anyway, Kyle has the bright idea of bringing Jimmy over from New York to see his mother but Leo puts him off.

Gary helps Dipi and Shane make up.  Shane, Ned and Yashvi hopefully put an end to this stupid fight club story.  I mean, please.  It’s on my Christmas list along with the end of the Robert storyline in Coronation Street.  And Harlow and Roxy head off to meet Harlow’s psychotic father, Robert Robinson.  So that’s going to end well…

Soap Blog: Monday 2nd December – Sunday 8th December 2019

Coronation Street – Wedding Hell

Vicky barges onto the Street very loudly and very pregnant, shouting at Robert and making it clear that she is scared of him when he sends her away.  Once alone, she warns him that she is out to ruin his life, which I think she’s pretty much about to do.  At home, when Robert begins to fret about Vicky destroying him financially, Michelle comes up with the bright idea of him signing over the Bistro to her, as if it has only just popped into her mind.  When it looks like Michelle is going to confront Vicky herself, Robert goes to visit her and warns her to stay away from the wedding.  A huge row erupts, complete with Vicky hurling things at him and the neighbours coming out of their houses in concern.  He returns home and tells Michelle that Vicky is no longer a problem.

Despite how the wedding was always going to turn out, it’s quite a beautiful scene when Carla walks Michelle down the aisle.  But during the vows, Michelle outs Robert for his double life, reading texts messages that have been passed between Robert and Vicky and announces that he has got her pregnant and also proposed to her.  Tyler then bursts in demanding to know what Robert has done to Vicky – she is missing.  He knows there was a huge argument last night and now the house has been bleached clean.

While the police begin to suspect Robert of murder, as do the rest of the street, Michelle is devastated and plans to sell up and start afresh.  My personal opinion is that he is being set up by both Michelle and Vicky.  And it couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke!

Hope starts school again, meaning she and her family have to say goodbye to Jade.  Daniel gets his laptop back and quickly becomes obsessed with the videos that Sinead left behind.  Paul bravely tells his boss and colleagues about Kel’s abuse as he begins police proceedings.  Bernie ends up in trouble with the law herself when she confronts Kel at his place of work.  Derek does a deal with Nick and Sarah in a desperate bid for cash.  Rita begins to feel like a spare part.

Doctors – Clash of the Icons

Predictably, things become a little tense between Zara and Emma now that they are dating twins, Adam and Gareth, especially when Zara turns down Emma’s invitation for the four of them, plus Joe to all spend Christmas together.  Well, personally, I think Gareth is definitely shifty.  I mean, what on earth did he do with the money Emma gave him for decorations for The Icon?  He definitely didn’t use it all for its intended purpose!

Meanwhile, Adam attends a school career day with Joe only to have to talk him down when he is frightened of a clown.  But he and Zara fall out when he dismisses her worries about her son.

The new pool car, named Dwight, arrives at The Mill and immediately causes trouble when Karen is caught speeding with Valerie and Ayesha in the car.  With maximum points already on her licence and not wanting to lose it or embarrass Rob, Karen tries and fails to persuade Valerie to take the blame.

Bear is defensive over the suggestion that he may be dyslexic and distracts himself with decorating The Mill with some non-traditional decorations with Valerie.

Sid helps Al with the marketing of The Icon and invites locally famous Beer Vlogger to the

launch night of Al and Jimmi’s Beer.  After a lot of nerves, the night is a success and Al even helps the vlogger get together with his cameraman.  Jimmi has problems with his burglar alarm.

Eastenders – Honey Takes Her Power Back

The Wife Swaps draws to a close with a quiz rather drunkenly and hilariously hosted by Shirley and won by Mick and Ruby.  When Honey discovers Adam’s latest fling, enough is finally enough.  Propelled by the sense of self worth that Ash has given her over the previous few days, Honey stands up in front of the whole pub and calls Adam out for his abysmal treatment of her.  It’s a fantastic moment and worth the wait.  At home, she packs his things amid some cruel abuse.  When he pushes her too far, hits him in the mouth with a bin.  Hope you know a good dentist, Adam!  I also hope that Honey will pursue a friendship with Ash and Iqra.

Martin overhears Billy fretting about Karen’s money worries and drops Ben in it for being a loan shark.  When Billy manages to sort things with Ben, Karen is so grateful that the pair end up in bed together!  Honey turns to Billy for support and gets quite a shock!

Max is horrified when Ruby bluntly tells him about sleeping with Martin.  She makes it clear that she would prefer a more casual relationship.  Max confronts Martin, leading to what can only be described as a pissing contest between the men, which is much more about Stacey than Ruby.

Lisa and the Mitchells (minus Sharon and Phil) attend Mel’s funeral, which Sharon has paid for.  However, at the wake, Lisa loses her temper and labels Sharon a murderer in front of everyone as well as telling everyone that Phil isn’t the father of the baby.  Seeds of doubt finally begin to form in Phil’s mind, especially when he sees Sharon looking close with Jack.  Louise goes into labour!

Gray finally confesses to the counsellor that he is physically violent towards Chantelle.  He breaks down over the violence he lived with from his father but Chantelle won’t let the counsellor push him to deal with the violence between them.  Instead, she decides they should sweep it all under the carpet again and renew their wedding vows.  What a hideous plan.

Jags plants rat droppings at the salon.  Sheree calls his bluff but Denise insists the ‘problem’ needs dealing with, prompting another falling out between the pair.  Worried Mick suggests that he and Linda do an alcohol detox.  He puts together a ridiculous plan to try and persuade Ollie’s teacher to grant him Learner of the Week only to discover that he is going to be awarded Learner of the Term.  Cue a drunken announcement from Linda to the whole pub, which embarrasses and worries Mick.  He suggests that they go on an alcohol detox.  Yes, I am sure she’ll stick to that.

Emmerdale – Wendy House

Pete and Moira fall out when she drunkenly messes up a client meeting at the farm and loses their business.  Despite also being angry with Nate, Pete is then persuaded to ditch Moira and take up a job with him at the rival farm.  How fickle.  Although, I don’t think I’d want much to do with Moira right now either, to be honest.  Interestingly, Cain stands up for Moira.

Victoria, Diane, Liv and Aaron are horrified when Wendy, having secured a job with Liam and Manpreet, moves into the Village.  Even her own son, Luke cannot believe that she has made the decision to crowd Victoria in such a way.  In an emotionally charged scene, Chas almost gets through to Wendy who still stubbornly believes that Lee could never have raped Victoria and that Victoria is lying.  It’s clear that Luke believes Victoria over his brother and knows his better than his mother does.  But I do wonder if her move to the village and her growing friendship with Chas and Victoria’s own grace and compassion for her may lead Wendy to finally come to terms with the truth.  She’s clearly not a bad person.  She just loves her son and wants to believe in him above all else.

Unfortunately, Wendy is not made to feel welcome in the Village and on her first night, she gets a brick thrown through her window.  She also has ‘rapist’ sprayed across her house, which she discovers during the turning on of the Christmas lights, in front of the whole village, when she has just helped Victoria through a bout of Braxton Hicks.  Bob very kindly cleans up the graffiti for her.  Aaron’s loved ones beg him to leave Wendy alone, not wanting him to go down the same road as Robert.

Andrea is in bits, knowing that Kim is gunning for her and has ordered a DNA test to prove whether Jamie or Graham is the father of Millie.  She is soon rushed into hospital with a miscarriage where we see Kim’s rare compassionate side.  She is uncharacteristically kind to Andrea and totally looks after her at the hospital.  She then tears up the DNA results without looking at them, not wanting Jamie to lose another child or to destroy their family.  Kim then sets about paying Graham off and sending him away.  Something tells me that he will not go quietly…

Despite Jimmy’s willingness to forgive, things are difficult between Nicola and Laurel, although they all manage to work things through in the end.  However Laurel and Jai remain ignorant (emphasis on the word ignorant – it’s literally happening right in front of them) of Arthur’s bullying of Archie.  Personally, I hate this plot.  I understand that it happens and it’s good to shine a light on it but I think they’ve absolutely chosen the wrong characters.  Arthur is the epitome of a nice, good child.  He was a tower of strength to Laurel when Ashley died and he’s always doing the right thing.  There has been no lead up to this story whatsoever.  It’s like they’ve given him a personality transplant overnight.  It’s a horrible storyline and it’s destroyed a lovely character.  But then, Emmerdale hasn’t exactly been firing on all cylinders this year, I suppose.  It’s had some great moments but it’s had some real flops and this storyline, for me is a prime example.

Lydia is struggling with her mother trying to be more involved in her life than she is ready for.  Charity and Vanessa are at it all over the place, although Charity calms things down, aware that Vanessa is avoiding grieving for Frank.  Sarah lies to Charity about spending time with Danny.  Worried Noah tells Danny the truth about Sarah’s illness.

Hollyoaks – Brody and Liberty, Too Stupid for Words

Brody, like the rest of the audience cannot believe that Liberty would even suggest that they sleep together and pass of their baby as Sienna’s.  Even by Hollyoaks standards this plot is insane and horrific.  As if her boyfriend cheating on her with her sister wouldn’t be more upsetting than not getting pregnant.  Nonsense!  However, after some misguided advice from Damon, Brody decides to go for it.  I mean, even if they decided to conceive a child and pass it off as Sienna’s, they didn’t have to do it the ‘natural way’ and actually cheat on her, did they?  Of course they did.  This is Hollyoaks.

In hospital, Mercedes wakes up in fright, believing that the shooter has just been in her room.  Well, Sylver is locked up.  So who has been in her room?  None other than Diane!  So… was it her?  She has been acting very shifty recently…  Feeling helpless, she discharges herself from hospital.

Brave Tony gives Breda a piece of his mind, blaming her for Sylver’s crime and the state of his and Mercedes marriage.  In response, creepy Breda befriends Mercedes and denounces her beloved son.  When Bobby returns home, Breda pledges her commitment to the family and moves into the pub to help Mercedes look after them both.  The police drop the investigation into the hit and run.

Yazz helps Finn get a job delivering Christmas trees.  However, things go wrong on his first day when he has to deliver to the school and finds himself in the very classroom where he raped John Paul – and is discovered by horrified Nancy.  He is quickly sacked by his boss upon discovering the full truth of his crimes.  Encouraged by nasty Edward, Finn attempts to make a public apology but it goes drastically wrong, ruining Marnie’s grand opening of the café.  In response, Yazz and Finn delve into Edward’s own past and discover that he was once accused of murdering his wife.  Wiley Edward is easily able to explain it all away.  Edward and Sally conspire to bring John Paul back to sort Finn out once and for all.

Sienna worries Luke when she notices his shaky hand and mentions her Dad had MND.  Darren goes to the hospital with him where he is diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia, a progressive condition and yet another destruction of a once amazing character.  Let’s face it, Luke is basically unrecognisable from his original self, one of those situations where you dream of Luke Morgan returning to the show but when he does the writers mess him up so much you wish they hadn’t bothered.  And now there’s this horrifically sad story to deal with.  In the meantime, Cindy mistakenly believes that Luke is about to propose.  Instead, he breaks up with her rather harshly in a bid to set her free from having to watch him fade away.  Well, let’s hope this condition is treated a little more realistically than Duffy’s in Casualty.

Home and Away: The Morgans

Home and Away is on its Christmas Break until January 2020.  Instead, on My5, there is a Christmas themed behind the scenes episode every Monday, hosted by Jason Smith who played Robbie Hunter between 2003 and 2006.

This week we are with the Morgan Family, who started off as a four (Tori, Justin, Brody and Mason), added a fifth with Raffy, lost two (Brody and Raffy who moved away with Brody’s girlfriend Simone) and are now more of a blended family with Justin dating Leah and also having a daughter called Ava plus Tori having had baby Grace with Robbo who is married to Jasmine.  So they’re pretty much as complicated as any other Home and Away family.

For this episode, Jason Smith is joined by Ada Nicodemou (Leah Patterson-Baker), James Stewart (Justin), Penny McNamee (Tori), Orpheus Pledger (Mason), Sam Frost (Jasmine) and Jake Ryan (Robbo).

Tori, Justin, Brody and Mason arrived under false names, living in witness protection, which was probably a silly idea considering what a dangerous place the Bay is!  They then found out they had another sister, Raffy.  Robbo also arrived under a cloud of confusion, amnesia and in the thick of a criminal investigation (he worked as a Federal Police Officer) and his whole family having been murdered.  Jasmine arrived on the run from an abusive boyfriend and was taken under Leah’s wing.  In a similar way, Sam explains that Ada looked after her on set.

The episode looks at Jasmine and Robbo’s complicated relationship and the current investigation involving Dylan Carter.  We take a look back at the arrival of the original Morgan family and take a moment to appreciate Orpheus’s perm.  The actors discuss their hopes for Leah and Justin’s future and laugh about their inability to keep their hands off each other.  They wonder if Mason will ever find love.  I think it’s unlikely.  Penny discusses being pregnant in real life alongside her pregnancy storyline on the show – James was very impressed with how she handled things.  Jake has also just become a new father.  Ada discusses her Ryan Kwanten (Vinnie Patterson) and how successful he has become.  Sam jokes about how obsessed she is with Christmas.  Olivia Debble (Raffy) sends her Home and Away family a Christmas message.

Sam Frost takes the camera into the make-up room and introduces us to none other than Laura Vasquez, who any true Home and Away fan will know played Sarah Thompson in the nineties!  Awesome!  She reveals that the person who takes the longest in makeup is Emily Symons (Marilyn) as she looks nothing like her character in real life (she looked completely different in Emmerdale) and the person who takes the least time is Ray Meagher (Alf).

What do the cast want for their character for the New Year?

Penny/Tori:     More making out and making jokes!

Ada/Leah:        Happiness and laughter

Jake/Robbo:    Love and good times with Jasmine & telling her he loves her

Neighbours – Unrequited Love

David’s loved ones, including Kyle all rush to be tested to be a kidney donor, all to no avail.  They also attempt to contact Leo, who would presumably be the obvious option.

Paul nearly comes to blows with Kyle during their mediation session.  He then sells Pierce a bigger share of Lassiters in order to settle the lawsuit and put the whole thing to bed, so to speak.  With his new powers, Pierce promotes Chloe to permanent General Manager, at least for as long as their relationship lasts.  Hendrix and Roxy meanwhile, conspire to make Pierce miss his wedding rehearsal.  Cue, Hendrix stepping in and awkwardly confessing his feelings for Chloe, except she doesn’t really get what he’s trying to tell her.  However, later, he decides to make it clearer by actually attempting to kiss her.  She is horrified and makes it clear that she’s not interested but she misunderstands his genuine feelings for her and thinks he is just out to cause trouble for Pierce.  Chloe tells Pierce what has happened and it slowly dawns on her that Hendrix’s feelings for her are actually real.  He moves into the Kennedy’s House of Never Ending Bedrooms.

Ned continues to freak out over Scarlett and reluctantly begins counselling.  Worried about him, Bea follows Ned to the fight club and steps up to fight in a bid to shock him out of the state he’s in.  It’s a huge risk and it makes both Ned and Finn very angry but essentially, it works.  He steps in and pulls her out of the fight, which makes the guy running the club angry.  But it stops him from fighting, gets him back to work and brings him and Yashvi closer again.

Harlow forgives Terese for handing her over to Prue in order to cover up her drinking.  Susan becomes concerned that Finn may be harbouring feelings for Elly when she finds the photo album of their past relationship in his bag.  Finn’s mother arrives and is ready to play nice but there is clearly more going on beneath the surface.  Dipi and Shane’s marriage is in trouble.

Soap Blog: Monday 25th November – Sunday 1st December 2019

Coronation Street – No Hope!

Fiz and Tyrone are at their wits end again with Hope, unaware that Jade is busy stirring the pot.  Keen to build up a case against Fiz, Jade covers Hope in fake bruises and takes photos of her.  She also attempts to plant seeds of doubt about Fiz’s capabilities of a mother to Evelyn.  Well, she messes that up.  Evelyn absolutely has that girl’s number!  She practically throws a party when Fiz and Tyrone give Jade the boot in favour of putting Hope back into school when a place magically reveals itself.  She doesn’t even take Jade’s side when Fiz completely loses her rag with Hope and smashes up her tablet.  So besotted is Hope with Jade though that she takes the blame when she finds Jade smashing up a photo frame of Fiz and Tyrone.  When the little girl accidentally cuts herself on some glass, Jade sees it as an opportunity to rush her to the medical centre to get patched up and sets the wheels in motion to raise some hypothetical concerns about Fiz.  She also gives Hope a secret phone so they can stay in touch behind her parents’ back. But the truth about Jade’s sinister plot is revealed to the audience alone when she visits John Stape’s grave one night – she is his daughter, therefore Hope’s half-sister.

Roy butts heads with his niece, Nina, over the care of his brother, Richard.  However, Richard soon requests that when he is gone, Roy look after Nina, who is quite annoying but it will be nice to have Roy have some family ties (besides Carla, obvs) on the Street again now that Hayley has gone.  May she rest in peace.

It all kicks off on The Street as news of Kel’s abuse of Paul spreads and he arrested for abuse and burglary.  Nick tries and fails to enlist Kirk’s help to double cross Sarah and the factory girls.  Michelle continues to plot against Robert in the most boring story in Coronation Street history.

Doctors – Woman Up!

Somehow, Ayesha and Bear manage to persuade Emma to being filmed having a smear test for their new Smears Without Fears Campaign.  Cue very funny scenes with Ruhma trying to film the girls doing a smear test to be presented at an evening at The Mill where other women are encouraged to have their tests.  Zara bursts in on them and is thrown out and there is lots of squabbling, which is always delightfully written in Doctors, I think.  Zara yells at the others for being petty and tells them to Woman Up!  Also, the campaign itself is brilliant so any woman reading this – make sure you go for your test if you haven’t already!

Zara concludes that she was right and they have made completely the wrong choice in Bear when she reads his rubbish minutes.  However, Al concludes that he is merely dyslexic and Daniel is impressed with his ingenuity while Karen worries that he is actually putting in too much hard work.  Daniel and Bear invest in an electric car for The Mill.  How exciting.  Not.

Daniel struggles with a temptation to gamble and feels shut out of his kids’ pre-Christmas plans as Adam continues to sweep Zara and Joe off their feet.  I don’t feel sorry for him.

Eastenders – Wife Swap!

Louise is worried about Lisa’s mental health as she remains convinced that Sharon bumped Mel off.  I mean, I totally understand where she’s coming from but actually, after all of Sharon’s bad behaviour, she really did tried to save the woman!

In his wisdom, Mick organises The Queen Vic Wife Swap as part of his attempt to win the Best Pub in London, which I think is actually a pretty good storyline.  I hold my hands up.  I love that show!  So, the game involves Mick and Linda swapping with Max and Ruby.  Iqra and Ash swapping with Adam and Honey.  Kat and Kush swapping with Patrick and Sheree.  And thanks to a bit of cheating on Gray’s part, he and Chantelle swap with Mitch and Karen.

When Linda gets caught accidentally smashing into the Playground Bitch’s car and driving away, the police are called and it turns out she is over the legal alcohol limit, meaning she is arrested and charged with drunk driving.  Mick finds out and after she’s given a fine and a ban, an inevitable argument ensues.  She storms off to Max’s where she gets so drunk that she passes out on the couch.  At the Vic, meanwhile, Ruby and Mick get on like a house on fire and she especially bonds with Ollie.  A few people have suggested an affair but I would hope that they wouldn’t repeat the Whitney storyline.  I mean, it would be almost carbon copy.  But anyway, Ruby is too busy getting it on with Martin.  Yes, really.  Do these people have any kind of loyalty?

While Kat can barely keep up with Patrick, Karen is having a lovely time with Gray (who is as moody and two faced as ever).  However, he is genuinely kind to Bailey when Mitch lets her down on a father/daughter evening.  The hurt from Chantelle is crystal clear – Mitch has let her down in the same way so many times before and she obviously feels very protective of Bailey because of it.  Thankfully, Mitch does do his best to make things right.  He’s a nice guy but fundamentally selfish.

Adam and Iqra endure and awkward dinner, exploding into a huge row when Iqra reads (and replied to!) a text revealing that Adam is sleeping with yet another random woman.  Meanwhile, it takes Ash about ten seconds to spot that Honey has an eating disorder and her kindness and support creates a genuine safe space for Honey to open up to her about her low self-esteem.  Please let this storyline mean that Ash and Iqra will help Honey out of this awful relationship she is in with Adam!  Please!  We want our amazing Honey back!

Ian continues his desperate bid to become a local counsellor.  Emphasis on desperate.  And it looks like Eastenders are about to hook Billy up with Karen just in time for Honey to become single.  Of course they are.

Emmerdale – Get Them to the Church on Time!

Kim announces to the whole pub, including Rhona that she and Graham are actually married!  He responds by telling her the truth about Millie’s paternity, which Andrea denies.  He also tells Rhona the truth about Millie and his life with Kim in a bid to be completely honest with her and make their relationship work.  While he asks Kim for a divorce, Andrea announces she is pregnant.  Also, the whole family move to the B&B without explanation.

Charity meddles in Pete and Tracey’s love life and eventually manages to get them back together, earning herself a ‘romantic’ reward from Vanessa!

Jacob drops the charges against Liam and attempts to make things right with Leanna.  In a bid to eradicate Maya from his life, Jacob accepts a counselling referral.

Bernice and Liam enjoy their hen and stag nights, in some excellent scenes involving both groups singing ‘Get Me to the Church on Time’.  Unfortunately, things go wrong when Dee Dee takes a call informing her that her father has been in a terrible car accident and is in critical condition.  After she berates her mother for never having been there for her the way her father has been, Bernice makes the decision to go to Australia immediately with her daughter, aware that it won’t be a short trip.  Backing out of telling Liam or Gabby the truth, Bernice is heartbroken to cancel/postpone the wedding and leave the country.

Al labels Billy as his attacker when in actual fact, he’s in some serious trouble with loan sharks, as Dawn discovers.  Things remain tense between Cain, Moira and Nate, especially when Nate announces he has taken over the lease of the farm next door.

Hollyoaks – Who Shot Mercedes?

Mercedes wakes up and identifies Sylver as the shooter.  He is arrested and charged with attempted murder, turning him into a raging bull behind bars.  Having rejected Grace in favour of his wife before Mercedes turned on him, he quickly has to eat humble pie in order to get some sort of help, especially as his own supposedly devoted mother has turned against him.  Well, I guess she’s not that devoted.  She let him go to jail for a murder that she committed when he was just a kid!

Thankfully, Grace really is sweet on Sylver and does her best to help, talking to Mercedes and discovering that she knows her husband isn’t responsible but wants revenge for his ‘affair’.  To be fair, Mercedes, you’ve been running around with Liam for months!  I don’t think what Sylver did even compares!  However, Grace makes a good point – while Mercedes has Sylver locked away for a crime he didn’t commit, the real person who presumably wants her dead is still out there, free to strike again.

At the news of Sylver’s arrest, Diane looks pretty darn shifty…

It’s an awkward day when both Damon and Maxine return to Hollyoaks Village – him from prison and her from America.  He ignores her apologies and in fact, demands the engagement ring back!  He is also a little bewildered when Liberty hits on him, as are we all, not least because she is trying to get pregnant and pass off the baby as Sienna and Brody’s.  I mean, come on!

Sienna takes Sid under her wing.  She attempts to reconnect him with his step-mother but when they uncover his knife, Alice isn’t interested.  Sienna is keen to foster Sid herself and when she is also keen to push on with the surrogacy, Liberty comes up with the worst plan she’s ever had – she thinks she and Brody should sleep together and pass it off as Sienna’s baby.  If this plot goes ahead, it will be one of the most awful stories Hollyoaks has ever done and it has some stiff competition.

Scott is disappointed when he discovers that Mitchell has actually got rid of his whole flat just to avoid living with him.  The flat is taken over by cool new couple, Toby and Celeste.  While Mandy and Darren fail to impress them, they do make friends with Jesse and Courtney.  I don’t like them.

Luke confesses that he isn’t actually buying the house – Tom is.  However, what he hadn’t banked on was that Tom is going to live there with them and they will have to pay rent!  I mean, great for viewers (possibly), not so great for Luke and Cindy!  Luke fails to convince Darren that his scans have come back clear when his symptoms continue.

Home and Away – Christmas at Summer Bay House

Home and Away is on its Christmas Break until January 2020.  Instead, on My5, there is a Christmas themed behind the scenes episode every Monday, hosted by Jason Smith who played Robbie Hunter between 2003 and 2006.

In Episode One, we go to Summer Bay House with Ray Meagher (Alf Stewart), Emily Symons (Marilyn Chambers), Lynne McGranger (Irene Roberts), Ada Nicodemou (Leah Patterson-Baker), Georgie Parker (Roo Stewart), Shane Withington (John Palmer) and Lukas Radovich (Ryder Jackson).

They discuss Christmas in Summer Bay with the odd clip, past cliff-hangers, including the time that John had a brain tumour and became the Summer Bay arsonist (apparently based on a real life story), when Marilyn got electrocuted and lost her memory, the amount of disasters that have befallen poor Leah such as bus crashes, plane crashes and a couple of comas, Alf getting caught up in an explosion at the school and Roo in an explosion at the caravan park plus Ryder and Raffy getting stuck in a tunnel.

What do the cast want for their characters for Christmas?

Emily/Marilyn:            A new handbag!

Lukas/Ryder:               A surfboard!

Georgie/Roo:              Too private to say on camera! (or a four wheel drive)

Ray/Alf:                       A friendlier personality!

Lynne/Irene:                A bedroom instead of a cupboard to sleep in!

Shane/John:                 A gift card (for a hardware store)

Ada/Leah:                    A new outfit or a holiday

Lukas takes the camera behind the scenes during filming around the caravan park and reveals that the sign directing people to the beach is misleading at the beach is actually nowhere nearby.  He also reveals that the caravan park is due to be part of a big story soon (I think it’s already aired in Australia – a storyline between Ryder and a new girl called Jade).

They all speak exceptionally highly of each other and Georgie particularly mentions the crew.  They discuss Alf’s rekindled love with his first wife, Martha who was supposed to be dead and how much they love working with her.  Then Belinda Giblin (Martha Stewart) appears!  The cast all send the viewers some lovely messages for Christmas.

What do the cast want for their character for the New Year?

Emily/Marilyn:            A handbag dog and another foster child

Ada/Leah:                    Another wedding!

Shane/John:                 To win some money!

Georgie/Roo:              A family trip to Europe

Ray/Alf:                       Happiness with Martha

Neighbours – David’s Down!

Prue uses her new knowledge of Terese falling off the wagon to persuade Harlow to move back to the UK with her, blackmailing Terese into backing her in the move being a good idea.  Between that and Terese and Paul being too busy for Harlow, she decides to give her mother another chance, only for the truth about her allegiance to The Order to be discovered at the last minute.  Faced with a choice between The Order and her daughter, Prue leaves without Harlow, who returns home to Paul and Terese. 

Ned begs Aaron not to reveal the truth about the fight club for fear that he will be in trouble with the law.  Well, yes, probably.  However, he does tell David eventually, causing a big row between the Street’s best couple.  David storms out only to be hit by a car and knocked off his bike!  Terese, who has sneaked out to get more booze from the off licence discovers David on the ground and calls for help, prompting the whole family to rush to the hospital.  David is critical but survives, minus a kidney.  And the other needs a transplant.  The lesson here is to never storm out of an argument!

At the hospital, Terese confesses to Paul why she was even out that night, admitting that she has been drinking again.  While Paul does support Terese, for a moment, he cannot help but wonder if she hit David.  Terese promises that she didn’t and it’s an extremely sweet scene when Harlow overhears them talking and very simply offers full faith in Terese.  It’s a shame then when she realises that Prue was blackmailing her into sending her back to the UK in a bid to keep her drinking quiet.  Terese asks Susan to be her sponsor now that she doesn’t have Sonya anymore.  Nope.  Still not over it.

But the big shock comes when Amy notices a busted headlight on her van, which Kyle had been driving the night before.  He admits that he fell asleep at the wheel – at the same time and location as David’s accident.  He is horrified to realise that he is responsible for hitting David and immediately hands himself into the police.